This is a close-up photo of Donald Trump’s hair, taken by Christopher Furlong of Getty Images, at Gerald W. Kim Middle School in Council Bluffs, Iowa, on Jan. 31.

Earlier today, Donald Trump apparently received a tip that “there may be someone with tomatoes in the audience.” And how would Donald Trump like his adoring fans to react to this alleged tomato carrier? Donald Trump wants them to beat the shit out of him.

With the Iowa caucuses officially kicking off primary voting season, it won’t be long before a brand new butt is working a fresh groove into Obama’s old chair. In preparation, our various candidates are already hard at work making wild schedules for their first day on the job. And each one is more impossible than the last.

The Iowa caucuses are tonight. What’s going to happen? On the Republican side, either Donald Trump will win, or Ted Cruz will win. According to a poll conducted by Ann Selzer, unanimously considered the best pollster in Iowa, Trump will win. That’s a good reason to feel confident in a Trump victory.

Donald Trump: a real Christian? The cracks in the facade are widening, I’m afraid.

On Saturday, Trump held another one of his airplane-hangar rallies, except this time he buzzed the tower, because the spectacle always needs to exceed itself. That music is the theme from Air Force One. Top Gun might have been more appropriate, but then again there’s no accounting for taste.

According to a 2013 ABC News report on the 50 Most Influential Networking Tycoons, Trump Group co-founder Edmond Trump’s influence—whatever that means—is worth $96 billion dollars. Donald Trump (no relation!) didn’t even make the list. As it turns out, Edmond Trump is also a real estate developer—Donald sued him and his brother Jules in 1988 over their use of the shared family name.

One day before the Iowa caucuses, a former paid employee of Donald Trump’s presidential campaign has alleged that she and other women were discriminated against and paid less than male staffers in the same positions.

It is not, as a rule, charitable to poke fun at another person’s physical shortcomings. However, when that person is both a public figure and a politician who actively and continually draws on the tenets of racism, misogyny and homophobia as a campaign platform, certain concessions can be made.

Daily Intelligencer has a great compendium of Weekly Standard editor and conservative pundit Bill Kristol’s preternaturally wrong predictions about Donald Trump’s rise (which is merely one of the things Kristol has been very wrong about).

Tonight’s Fox News Republican debate is co-sponsored by Google, and the moderators have repeatedly instructed viewers to “go to Google and search Fox News Debate,” in order to vote for the candidate you thought won. If you do that, you see this sponsored result.

Donald Trump’s last-minute, “wounded warrior”-benefiting rally is finally (?) here, featuring special guests Mike Huckabee, Rick Santorum, and of course—Donald Trump’s beloved veterans. It’s going to be a beautiful mess.

In an essay for the POLITICO Magazine, Tucker Carlson recalls one of his first interactions with Donald Trump, who called and left him a voice-mail bragging about his sexual conquests:

I only want to get married once, and when I do, I hope it’s to one of the three Donald Trump supporters featured in this essential new video from CNN titled, “Going to College, Voting for Trump.” Please watch it below.

Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld did the straight white old man equivalent of throwing shade at a number of the presidential candidates on today’s episode of The View—he sprinkled Old Spice on them.

Speaking at a press conference before a rally in Marshalltown, Iowa, Donald Trump continued to turn the screws on Roger Ailes, threatening that he “probably” won’t participate in the Fox News-hosted debate on Thursday. Trump’s campaign manager, meanwhile, told the Washington Post’s Philip Rucker that the candidate was “definitely not” participating in the debate. “His word is his bond.”

Former viral sensation and aspiring heavy metal star Balloon Boy (otherwise known as Falcon Heene) has officially announced his endorsement of Donald J. Trump in an email to Gawker.

Earlier today, Buzzfeed’s Andrew Kaczynski and Megan Apper published a list of the 49 “best” tweets sent by Donald Trump Jr., the 38-year-old son of Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump. It is a thorough list, featuring a large number of entertaining tweets on a variety of topics. But 49 is a lot of tweets. To save time, here is the single best Donald Trump Jr. tweet:

Donald Trump winning an election? We’ve come to accept that bizarre possibility as plausible. But telling a pollster that you view Donald Trump as electable? Now that’s crazy.