Are these videos funny? Yes. Are they cruel? Not really. Do they demonstrate the need for dogs and cats to unite as one and overthrow their human overlords, putting them under the blade or at least in an embarrassing Aladdin costume or two?

An adorable, sad little Shar-pei mix named Kai was found tied to a railing inside a Scottish train station last Friday, along with a suitcase packed with all his worldly possessions: A pillow, a toy, and a food bowl with some food. The Scottish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals is searching for the owner who abandoned him.

"Chill... At least [he] didn't eat the dog."

Dennis the Dachshund once weighed 59 pounds—pretty healthy if you are four dogs, but Dennis is just one dog—due to his bad diet of "human food and excessive treats." Now he's down to a reasonable 13 pounds thanks to one weird trick (not eating human food and excessive treats).

An unidentified 21-year-old burglar is in critical condition at a hospital Bensalem, Penn. after allegedly breaking into a woman's apartment and masturbating on her balcony. He was shot twice while reportedly trying to rob another apartment.

Look at you. "I practiced this dance in front of a mirror, so I know it looks good." Give me a break. "Everyone compliments me on my dancing." Come on. "I'm pretty good." Yeah right. You know who's actually good at dancing? This dog!

Derby the dog, born with underdeveloped front legs that prevented him from running, was abandoned at a shelter and in danger of being put down, The Dodo reports, but he got a second chance with a foster mom who happened to be a director at a 3D printing firm.

The American Kennel Club, Who's Who Division has announced plans to acknowledge the existence of three new types of dog, as well as what appears to be a mop with ears. One hunts rabbit, one fishes, and I'm pretty sure one smokes weed—here they are, the pure-bred class of 2014.

In accordance with the final wishes of a dead Indiana woman, her 9-year-old German Shepherd was scheduled to be put to sleep today so the two could be cremated and buried together—a fate the dog has only temporarily avoided.

It is becoming increasingly clear that Cool Pope "Francis" (a nickname)—though he is certainly cool and wacky and generally chill—is just making stuff up as he goes along. Do dogs go to heaven? Sure, why not?

He Himself bore our fears in His tiny meatball body on the steps, so that we might die to fear and live to fearlessness; for by His straight up no joke extraordinary pup bravery you were healed.

You ever have a bad dream where you're running down a long hallway away from the bad guys, but the hallway just keeps getting longer and longer and you know you're never gonna make it?

You know the feeling: Sure, it's been a fun night out, but you have to work in six hours and you're fading fast. Then suddenly—like a kind of magic—Your Jam comes on and instantly you're back howling with the best of them.

Animal rights campaigners in Switzerland would appreciate it if the three percent of the country's population that eats domestic cats and dogs would kindly stop eating them, the BBC reports.

Look, I'm not going to tell you this is anything more than what it is: a video of very small dog dressed as a teddy bear—or, if you nerds prefer, an Ewok—walking on a treadmill for an amount of time that is just long enough for you to register amusement and just short enough that you won't have to worry overmuch about his health or comfort.

A Swedish extreme adventure team racing through Ecuador's Amazon rainforest ran into an unexpected companion: a stray dog who followed Team Peak Performance through the final two days of a 10-day, 430-mile course of extreme pain and extreme suffering.

Someone decided to introduce dogs to the depraved human pastime of competitive eating, and naturally, they're very good at it. (Have you met dogs? They've been practicing for this their whole lives.)

Ginzey the dog's family thought they had explained the rules of the snow maze very clearly: Make it through in one minute, get a treat. Otherwise, you're trapped forever. But they never said he couldn't just cut through the snow.

On Friday, a Golden Retriever named Buddy did what dogs do and chased a cat into a cat house in Long Island. Unfortunately for him, Buddy got his giant dumb head stuck in the cat house's tiny door, and cops had to rescue him.

A sweet little dog in San Angelo, Texas hitched a twenty-mile ride on the side of an ambulance transporting his owner to the emergency room, the Standard-Times reports.