Celebrity Friendster profiles are so 1987, but when a helpful person helped us stumble upon Brandon Routh's entry (a.k.a. the new, "unknown" Superman), we couldn't resist sharing it with the world. His "About Me" section gives some insight into his humble, Midwestern beginnings:

Variety's report of Hunter S. Thompson's book party at Taschen on Tuesday night (the night after his storied Book Soup event) contains no references to vomiting, Chivas, or signing books while prostrate. Maybe he was on his best behavior to confound the celebrities assembled (Sean Penn, Anjelica Huston, Hef and the Bunnies) to kiss his Gonzo ring. This time, though, it looks like Benicio del Toro came prepared by wearing some gloves, just in case things got messy again.

In our continuing attempt to keep you constantly appraised of Mary-Kate Olsen's whereabouts now that she's quit NYU for some outpatient care leisure time in our fine city, we present this sighting:

· Agent Dance update: WMA's Hylda Queally still on her way to CAA. in a "major defection" Also, Jason Barrett bolts The Big Willy to start a production/management company. What's going on over there? Did they take away expense accounts and assistant-whipping benefits? [Variety, sub. req'd.]
· Sally Field looks to return to sitcoms with a project for ABC. The show would revolve around a middle aged woman who makes huge changes in her life, getting divorced and getting a job. She likes menopause, she really, really likes menopause! Sorry, had to get that out of the way. [THR]
· Glenn Close joins the cast of The Shield for season four. There was a time when it would've been considered career suicide for a big movie actress to take a part on a television show, especially one on basic cable. But these are different, confusing times, so it might actually be a good thing. [THR]
· Desperate Housewives, Lost, and Medical Investigation get full season pick-ups, withCSI:NY soon to follow. Tragically, Commando Nanny is aborted to the underpopulated limbo of stupid ideas that will never see the primetime airwaves. [THR]
· Friar's Club roastmaster Jeffrey Ross, who nobly accused Jay Mohr of blowing Tom Cruise to get a part, gets a
development/talent holding deal at Fox. Who says there's no justice in the world? [Variety, sub. req'd.]

Wherein we invite our readers to decipher the verbal prestidigitation of humpy E! gossip philosopher-king Ted Casablanca and guess the identity of his weekly blind item. This week, Ted goes behind the scenes of a local spa and finds...a famous gay propositioning a civilian for hot gay action! Absorb One Ballsy Blind Vice:

It's always a proud day in any virtual company's life when one of its blogs makes the jump from passive porn observer to full-blown porn distributor. Knuckle-shuffling sister site Fleshbot is now nobly peddling the lost Ed Wood smut extravaganza Necromania through Fleshbot Films. (You may remember Johnny Depp's portrayal of the maverick director, years before Depp decided to ride a Keith Richards impersonation to an Oscar nomination.) And you know Necromania is the classy kind of hardcore film, because the New Yorker wrote about it.

Sweet Baby Jesus on a bed of lettuce, there are two of them. (Or, depending on your perspective, four of them.) Are we seeing double, or are we merely gripped in the bony hand of existential dread? There is indeed good reason to panic: The appearance of another Reid (the one on the left is called Colleen) could signal the collapse of the entire Los Angeles nightlife industry, as there is no guarantee that our city's alcohol delivery systems are adequate to handle such a spike in demand. Pray for us. We're so disturbed we're not even going to mention the nipple slip.

The Disney shareholder lawsuit (heretofore referred to as the Hollywood Trial of the Century) over Michael Ovitz's tumultuous, wildly lucrative, and abbreviated stay at the company kicked off yesterday in the sleepy town of Georgetown, Delaware. The opening day of the trial that is "captivating Hollywood" (according to the LAT) featured scintillating action such as Disney lawyers questioning the qualifications of a law professor critical of the company's board of directors and "grilling" her on her "methodology." Captivating stuff indeed.

—It's one thing to ruminate on the timeless "Lindsay Lohan: Fake or Real?" question, but it's quite another to write a song about it. And when you set that song to some disturbing animation, well, you've really crossed the line. [via Screenhead]
—The NY Daily News' Lloyd Grove solidifies his position as the preeminent expert on Mary-Kate Olsen's current stay in Los Angeles.
—Toronto's Better Living Centre blog details the runaway productions shooting in "Hollywood North." Are they trying to taunt us with tales of low-budget Shannon Elizabeth movies on the loose in Canada? We're e-mailing the Governator right away.
—I Heart Huckabees character Tommy Corn has a blog. Or he had a blog, since he's seriously slacked off since late September. Shouldn't promotional blogs have a better work ethic? [via Blogging.la]

1. If you’re the type that enjoys half-naked women in trashy underwear (and really, who isn't?) you might want to pencil in the Second Annual Frederick’s of Hollywood Lingerie Art Auction and Fashion Show on your calendar. Susan Sarandon is hosting, but we can't guarantee that she'll be rocking the catwalk in a frilly thong or sequined corset.
2. Eddie Izzard, the funniest cross-dresser since J. Edgar Hoover, performs at the Comedy Store.
3. Concert round-up: Rachael Yamagata at the El Rey; Drive By Truckers at the Troubadour; Edwin McCain at House of Blues; Ours at Spaceland.
4. Tonight's Game 7 ALCS Armageddon between the Yankees and Red Sox will have Fox executives happily awaiting the overnight Nielsen ratings, while completely ignoring the elevated suicide numbers from the east coast.

Yet another report from the now-legendary Hunter S. Thompson book signing rolls in, cementing its place in literary promotional history alongside F. Scott Fitzgerald's notorious public masturbation during a reading from Tender is the Night at Samuel French. We'd make that lazy Rashomon reference that journalists are so enamored of to describe our multiple reader reports, but a) we've never actually seen Rashomon, and b) everyone pretty much agrees that Thompson was obliterated. Goddamn, he's still our hero. Enjoy Book the Third of Dr. Gonzo's Wild Signing:

We realize that you can't really identify Adam "Seth Cohen" Brody in this photo, but we felt it was necessary to applaud the effort. Our spy swears to have circled the block four times to get visual confirmation of Brody's meal at King's Road Cafe on Beverly, snapped this cam-phone picture, and then painstakingly labeled it for us in MS Paint. Tenacity like this must be recognized, lest it fester and later manifest itself as stalking, and nobody wants that. [Note to our shutterbug friend: We kid!] You can click the picture to get a better look.

The Defamer correspondent on autumn melanin levels spots the beginnings of what might soon become a full-blown epidemic: overtan C-list celebrities in October. Why do these people insist on looking like the bastard hybrid of basted turkeys and Wilson footballs when Halloween approaches? We think that the status explanation no longer holds, since anyone with a handful of coupons can stand in a booth for five minutes and get their "island vacation" spray-painted on to golden-brown order. Our correspondent reports:

We hear that there's some movement along Wilshire Boulevard's internationally renowned Corridor of Ten Percent Dreams, as William Morris bigshot Hylda Queally (rep to Kate Winslet, Cate Blanchett, and Liv Tyler according to our pal Whore Presents) is fleeing to the momentarily warmer embrace of CAA. That's all the little bird told us; if the birdie is wrong, please keep in mind that all of those agency initials can get awfully confusing to a simple avian brain.

A reader offers another view of Hunter S. Thompson's Monday night signing at Book Soup. This version is disappointingly devoid of the HST-vomiting-as-Benicio-del-Toro-watches tableaux, but leaves a number people standing on the sidewalk with unsigned books. The booze-induced puking strikes us as decidely more gonzo than skipping out on his fans.

· Revolution Studios, pleased with White Chicks, will dump a truckload of money on Keenan, Shawn, and Marlon Wayans for Little Man. The movie is about a "a man anxious to be a father who mistakes an extremely short-statured, baby-faced criminal on the run as his newly adopted son." Is it just us, or does this sound a lot like the Bugs Bunny cartoon "Baby Faced Finster"? There's no Looney Tunes connection mentioned in the article. [THR]
· Judd Apatow gets his first directing gig, shooting co-writer Steve Carrell in 40 Year-Old Virgin. We're atwitter (really) for how Carrell will play the premature ejaculation jokes. [THR]
· New Line gets a remake of 1939's The Women back on track. Producers are looking to cast Meg Ryan, Annette Bening, Sandra Bullock, Ashley Judd and Uma Thurman, but the Botox budget might push this one back into development hell. [Variety, sub. req'd.]
· CBS and the WB shuffle struggling dramas Clubhouse, The Mountain and Jack & Bobby around their schedules to try and salvage viewers. Does this tactic ever work? Our guess is that two of the three don't survive the winter. [THR]
· Appropriately suggestive lede of the day: "Bryan Singer appears to have found his Man of Steel." Singer casts the pretty much unknown Brandon Routh, a fact that "the internets" have known for days, but the studio have held off announcing out of respect for Christopher Reeve.[Variety, sub. req'd.]

Vice magazine temporarily channels the glossies for its latest issue, cramming its pages full of ironic (post-ironic? meta?) celebrity salad-tossings. The issue's fashion "DOs" page lovingly turns its very sincere attention to the deconstruction of Hollywood style. Of course, Colin Farrell (and his allegedly massive dong) is a "DO":

Today's LAT previews the Disney shareholder lawsuit over Michael Ovitz's disastrous term at Mouse Headquarters, noting that CEO Michael Eisner and Ovitz are going to have to play nice during the litigation—but not too nice—to avoid getting fleeced by the plaintiff. We're really trying to disassociate the term "Gay Mafia" from Ovitz, but there are about a dozen ways to read quotes like these, all of them filthy:

At Friday's Friars Club roast of Donald Trump, Curb Your Enthusiasm's Susie Essman gave everyone some insight into The Donald's relationship with rapidly-oxidizing NBC golden boy Jeff Zucker. The NY Observer reports:

This morning, Tara Reid's publicist opened her e-mail expecting to see happy news about the must-have spa treatment or today's hottest shoe sale. Instead, her Daily Candy taunts her with this, and her latte probably wound up tossed against the nearest assistant: