You're curious about Real Housewife Danielle Staub's sex tape. But you don't want to buy it or watch her have sex. So we scrubbed the 90-minute Danielle Staub Raw clean of anything untoward. Now all that's left is the crazy!
On last night's episode we saw two people leave. One physically left the show, the other finally cut the tether to the real, rational world and floated up into the New Jersey sky and almost disappeared. Almost.
Now that Madonna's a swinging single cougar, Gwyn refuses to study Kabbalah with her. Star Jones writes The Devil Wears Prada about Barbara Walters. Britney faces two sex scandals. Heidi Montag just wants one. Thursday gossip has an achy-breaky heart.
Last night we saw a charity event for a sick baby and — WHO CARES ABOUT A SICK BABY!!! It's Danielle time! Everyone look at Danielle! Yayyyyy Danielle.
Lindsay Lohan claims she was framed with drugs! Was Megan Fox fired for being too skinny? Matt Lauer did not sleep with this women. Saturday's Gossip Round Up is pretty from far but far from pretty.
She still hates her castmates, though! At least that's what she told us last night at The Park at the premiere party for indie film Happythankyoumoreplease. We got the scoop on the show's upcoming season.
• A photographer says he plans to file a lawsuit against Lindsay Lohan after her driver "nearly killed" him in a hit-and-run accident on Sunday. The paparazzo says he's "lucky to be alive" and now plans to make sure Lindsay "goes to jail" for her crimes despite the fact LiLo wasn't even the one driving, and the photographer only injured his wrist and never even had to go to the hospital. [TMZ, NYP]
• Have Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly set a date? According to the Post, which conducted an undercover investigation last week, the couple are planning to get married in November at the Oheka Castle on Long Island, which is where Kevin Jonas got married recently. [NYP]
• Another Beyoncé concert is stirring up controversy. Less than two weeks after she got into trouble for performing for Hannibal Khadafy comes the news that residents of Trinidad are up in arms over a $1 million Beyoncé concert planned for February 18. Locals claim it will divert from the country's annual Carnival celebration. [Sun]
• Dina Lohan, America's No. 1 mom and the face of a new line of shoes, is defending Lindsay against her dad's accusation that the actress is addicted to drugs and desperately needs an intervention. ("I have no idea what he is talking about," Dina says.) She also stood up for LiLo's fashion design skills, even after her debut as Emanuel Ungaro's "artistic adviser" was savaged by the press earlier this week: "The critics can say whatever they want, but Lindsay is a genius," she said. [P6, NYDN, Radar]
• Mischa Barton reportedly "had a drink in hand all night" on the LES on Wednesday, where she was seen buying shots for Young Veins' frontman Ryan Ross. Where's Michael Lohan when you need him? [NYDN]
• Meanwhile, model Agyness Deyn is reportedly laying off the booze in solidarity with her boyfriend, Albert Hammond Jr., who is in rehab. [P6]
• Luke and Julie Janklow have lowered the price of their West 12th Street townhouse for the second time since listing it for $24.975 million in January. The 25-foot-wide manse, which the Janklows purchased from Andre Balazs and ex-wife Katie Ford for $4.5 million in 2004, is now listed with broker Paula del Nunzio for $17.95 million. [Cityfile, BHS]
• Shire Realty CEO Rena Shulsky has put her penthouse at 812 Fifth Avenue on the market. The three-bedroom co-op, which Shulsky purchased two years ago for $9.23 million, is currently listed for $11.75 million. [Cityfile, PDE]
• Investor Enrique Foster Gittes is at it again. Nearly two months after he dropped the price of his townhouse at 12 East 63rd Street for the third time, he has now decided to raise the price by $2.5 million. The 13,000-square-foot mansion is now listed for $23 million. [Cityfile, BHS]
• Designer Domenico Dolce has closed on two penthouse units at the Annabelle Selldorf-designed "Sky Garage" building. Dolce paid a combined $29 million for the two spreads (with a total of 7,500 square feet of living space) at 200 11th Avenue through an entity called Cinquantotto LLC. [Real Deal, NYP]
• Danielle Staub, one of the stars of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, has listed her home in Wayne, NJ for $1.45 million. [Zillow]
• 30 Rock and Mad Men took home Emmys last night for outstanding comedy series and outstanding drama series, respectively. (Surprise, surprise.) Alec Baldwin won for outstanding actor in a comedy series; Breaking Bad's Bryan Cranston won for outstanding actor in a drama series; Glenn Close won for best actress in a drama series for Damages; and The United States of Tara's Toni Collette took home the award for best actress in a comedy series. Other winners included Lost's Michael Emerson, 24's Cherry Jones, Grey Gardens' Jessica Lange, Pushing Daisies' Kristin Chenoweth, and Two and a Half Men's Jon Cryer. The catchphrase of the night was "pulling a Kanye," naturally. [People, Us]
• Mischa Barton just isn't a morning person... or perhaps she's having dental issues again. A source from her CW show, The Beautiful Life, says she's often so out of it in the mornings that she holds up filming, and she'll stare into her coffee for minutes on end, mumbling, "Who will fix my coffee? I need someone to fix my coffee." [P6]
• Courtney Love lost it when a bathroom intruder caught her with her pants down at the T magazine party at the Standard the other night. Love supposedly screamed that the man had attacked her and tried to have him ejected. "I never wanted to see Courtney Love on the toilet," says the unlucky guy. "It wasn't a pretty sight. I just wanted to get out of there." [P6]
If sparkly vampires shit in the woods, would you listen? Did Michael Jackson drink Pepsi? Is Amy Winehouse on drugs again? Does being Ashley Durpre get you invited to parties? Is Jay-Z still gangster? Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:
• Jennifer Esposito is looking to sell in the Village. The actress has put her one-bedroom apartment at 23 East 10th Street on the market, along with the one-bedroom co-op she owns upstairs. The two apartments, which Esposito once planned to combine into a duplex, are currently listed for a combined $1.435 million. [NYM, MDNY]
• Peter Buffett, the son of Warren Buffett, and his wife Jennifer have closed on the purchase of a condo at One Madison Park. The couple paid $3.5 million for the three-bedroom pad. [Cityfile, previously]
• Lindsay Lohan says she feels "scared" and "violated" after the break-in at her LA home last weekend. (We're guessing that's the same way Sam Ronson feels when she comes home to find LiLo waiting for her in the bushes, but what do we know?) In related news, though, Lohan's neighbors are now hoping she'll pick a new neighborhood to terrorize. [Sun, NYDN]
• Things don't always go Anna Wintour's way. When she headed to dinner after her David Letterman taping the other night, the poor editrix had to wait 20 minutes for her boyfriend, Shelby Bryan, to show up. And then the restaurant had the nerve to try and seat them at a non-private table. The indignity! [P6]
• Chelsea Handler has dumped her boyfriend, Ted Harbert. Making matters a little awkward: Harbert runs E!, which means her ex is still her boss. [NYDN]
• Cindy Crawford is coming clean about a deep, dark secret. She says that although you might have thought she had a perfect body, she really does have a bit of cellulite. Guess you'll have to focus on her inner beauty instead. [Star]
• The September 2009 issue of Vogue looks nothing like the issue from 2007, the making of which is detailed in R.J. Cutler's new period picture, The September Issue. Take a sec to let the image of the 840-page behemoth from two years ago—the largest issue ever—burn itself into your memory. Given the way things are going, you may not see anything like it ever again. [NYT]
