Friday:
• Nick Prueher and Joe Pickett, the former Onion scribes behind the Found Footage Festival, show off their grubby wares at Galapagos Art Space tonight in Williamsburg. As if there is any other locale in which one might showcase video footage culled from dumpsters and thrift stores. [flavorpill]
• Mercy College hosts a seminar on everything you ever wanted to know about Nietzsche but were afraid to ask because you didn t want your prof to know you didn t actually do the reading. We re guessing it s a rather short list. [Paper]

Middle-aged, single women rejoice: Your video game prayers have been answered. A Desperate Housewives game will be on store shelves by September, and it will be packed with all the juicy things the very gender-progressive industry knows you've been craving in an interactive experience:

TMZ.com's web-enabled stalkerazzi have continued their crusade against the scourge of underage drinking at clubs in Hollywood Boulevard's storied Morality Corridor, capturing video of a bust at celeb-infested boozehole Mood late last night while trolling for evidence of the sub-21 celebrity set entering the bar. They did get footage of 19-year-old, famous-esque Laguna Beach personality Kristin Cavallari, as well as some of a 17-year-old (pictured at left) being led away in handcuffs for sneaking into the club with fake ID. Reports TMZ:

• Rap historian Jeff Chang and BET's unimonikered man about town, Toure, talk shop at Housing Works' "An Evening of Hip-Hop." The bookshop even tries to up its street cred by bringing in a DJ for the occasion. [flavorpill]
• Legendary MIT prof and quantum computer designer Seth Lloyd waxes philosophical on mind benders like, "How much information is there in the universe? What information existed at the time of the Big Bang and what happened to it? What would happen if we tried to create our world on a computer?" In other words, a guy with twice your IQ will answer the questions you come up with when you're stoned. [Upcoming]
• Got a little something left in that dimebag? Animal Collective plays Webster Hall tonight. Thanks to the Times, we can now add "bearded" to our already expansive list of hipster concert-attendee descriptors. [Upcoming]

If you have nothing better to do Sunday afternoon (we should warn your taxes, laundry, and attending to foot callouses might all qualify as "better"), VH1 Classics will be airing one of Germany's greatest contributions to the one-hit-wonder pop pantheon, Nena's "99 Luftballons," for an entire hour. It was a special request made by a generous bidder during their "Pay To Play for Hurricane Katrina Relief" fundraising campaign:

• Package Deals, a city-specific multidisciplinary music and film screening series, brings the best Reykjavik, Iceland, has to offer to The Tank in Tribeca tonight. We're sure the complimentary Reyka Vodka will make up for the absence of Sigur Ros. [Package Deals]
• The New Directors/New Films Festival kicks off tonight at MoMA. Check it out and gain the privilege of anointing someone the next Pedro Almodovar before Manohla Dargis gets to 'em. [flavorpill]
• You know you want to listen to Ethan Hawke read Wichita Vortex Sutra over the sounds of Philip Glass. It's all you've ever wanted since you were a young child, in fact. Lucky for you, your dream will be realized tonight at Lincoln Center. [Lincoln Center]

We'd thought that the much-ballyhooed Assistant Beer Pong tournament was a time for the call-rolling caste at rival studios, agencies, and production companies to finally put aside their differences and get communally shitfaced in the spirit of harmless frat-house-style competition. But as an aggrieved Lionsgate employee informed us, not everyone was welcome at the party:

• Put on your dancing shoes for Terry Dean and Katie's Danceoff! at P.S. 122. Or, rather, your glasses, cause you're just watching 'em. [flavorpill]
• The latest installment of internerd reading series WYSIWYG tackles starfucking. You're sure to leave feeling 50% dirtier than when you came. [WYSIWYG]
• Days of Our Lives or Iran? (They're mutually exclusive, natch.) It's your call: CUNY offers up a lesson in daytime soap writing; CNN's Amir Taheri lectures on Iranian geopolitics at the 92nd Street Y. [Paper & 92Y]

A helpful reader who was in attendance at Saturday night's assistant beer pong tournament forwarded along this picture of the Universal team's much-discussed t-shirt. Just in case that fold is throwing you off, it does indeed say, "We're gonna fuck you in the ass," which is at best a very loose paraphrase of the dialogue that contributed to a Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar.

Our first, brief report on Saturday night's assistant beer pong tourney has finally trickled in:

Perhaps the best thing about living in this amazing city of ours is that on an almost daily basis, we're introduced to some new abomination that may finally cause the earth beneath us to open up and mercifully swallow this silly place whole. We give you SkyBark, a space where you and your beloved canine sidekick can indulge your behind-the-velvet-rope lifestyles together. From the bar's introductory press release:

Yesterday's LAT story on the entertainment industry's "headset protocol" or "culture of listening" sought to give a taste of the widespread practice of using every sensitive phonecall as a training ground for the next generation of agents and executives to those readers who've never had the pleasure of a hot latte tossed into their face as punishment for a dropped call. In the article, one brave agency call-roller risked certain receiver-bludgeoning by an angry boss for talking to the press and offered a glimpse into the world of sanctioned eavesdropping:

• Norweigan dance pop princess Annie chews her gum tonight at the Mercury Lounge. If you're still behind, consider this your chance to get caught up with 2004's buzz. [flavorpill]
• The Crier describes itself as "a small magazine of big ideas," which we think means that the premiere issue contains 35,000-word articles. Editors read abbreviated versions tonight at the Cake Shop, 7PM. [Crier]
• Anti-war activism gets entertaining tonight at Hammerstein with Bring 'Em Home Now, featuring performances from Michael Stipe, Rufus Wainwright, Bright Eyes, and Margaret Cho. If the political star power doesn't attract you, maybe the open vodka bar will. [Upcoming]

Friday:
• The Silver Jews are playing! The Silver Jews are playing! Oh, both tonight and tomorrow night's shows are sold out? I guess you'll have to wait till next time they tour. Oh, they never, ever tour? Fuck. [Upcoming]
• Eschew drunken Irishman in favor of drunken hipsters ironically channeling drunken Irishmen at Death Disco's Second Anniversary Party at Southpaw, which features Pogues frontman Shane MacGowan on the decks. [flavorpill]

A pair of ex-Seinfeld writers, Gregg Kavet and Andy Robin, not suprisingly edged out Andy Dick's cinematic ode to caninelingus to win the top film prize at this year's South by Southwest festival. The movie, called Live Free or Die, was shot in New Hampshire under very State and Main-type circumstances: i.e., Hollywood descends on small town, culture clash ensues. Refreshingly, the filmmakers didn't honeydip their thoughts on the locals when they recently spoke with the AP:

• "Peeping, Probing & Porn: Four Centuries of Graphic Sex in Japan" opens today at the Museum of Sex. But you probably knew that already, perv. [Upcoming.org]
• Downtown jazz circles are marveling at Colombian harpist Edmar Castaneda's musical chops, says Flavorpill. Then again, the downtown set tends to marvel at most things Colombian. [flavorpill]
• An evening of fine music, wine, and dinner at BAM with director John Sayles. For $42, though, we hope the condoms are included. [BAM]

• Testicle-happy writer Jonathan Ames, Times Magazine editor John Hodgman, and Believer Book Award-winner Sam Lipsyte get together at Makor tonight for Rising Above the Din, a conversation about the state of the novel in our increasingly technology-driven society. We'd go, but we have yesterday's American Idol on TiVo. [Paper]
• Negroclash's DJ Lindsey opens for L.A. electro soul scenesters J*Davey at Canal Room. We'd go, but we have yesterday's American Idol on TiVo. [flavorpill]
• Dave Hill welcomes Moby and Martha Wainwright to his variety show, The Dave Hill Explosion, at UCB Theater tonight. All the vegan jokes and pretty songs you can stand for $5. [UCB]

• Red Light Winter, the latest play by Adam Rapp, follows "three young Americans caught in a bizarre love triangle of erotic fixation." That's theatre speak for "stupid college kids rolling on E in Amsterdam." [flavorpill]
• In an appearance with the New York Philharmonic, Garrison Keillor brings the News from Lake Wobegon to Avery Fisher Hall tonight. Go and see a real, live Midwesterner! [Upcoming]
• In honor of Purim, Scotty the Blue Bunny hosts the Kosher Cock Show at Mo Pitkins'. Because what Jewish holiday is complete without an inappropriately themed hipster event? [Paper]

• Jews + Karaoke = Typical Night in Manhattan. But add in some prizes and the boys from Stella as judges, and you get American Shmidol, tonight at Bowery Ballroom. [flavorpill]
• Having conquered the worlds of acting and teenage divorce, Macaulay Culkin tries his hand at a novel. Judge his efforts (and we know you will) tonight at Barnes & Noble on East 17th. [WUNY]
• Isobel Campbell of Belle & Sebastian fame takes the solo route tonight at Joe's Pub. Stay twee, you cuddly monkey. [Upcoming]

Amazon.com is close to closing a deal with three major studios that will allow for iTunes-like downloads of feature length movies and TV programs: