In the wake of three members of Russian feminist collective Pussy Riot being sentenced to two years in prison for "hooliganism," most of the protests in support of the women have been peaceful. But in a suspicious new killing, that peace may have come to a halt.

Up to a point, Joshua Shelton had a normal Friday night this weekend. The 21 year-old got drunk and passed out in a shack wearing only a t-shirt and his boxers, soaked in his own urine. Who hasn't done that before? Well, the point that separates Shelton's night from yours or mine was that when he woke up, a Wicomico County Sheriff's deputy was there to inform him he'd murdered 70,000 chickens overnight.

Criminal mastermind Lindsay Lohan is now officially a suspect in the theft of $100,000 worth of watches and glasses.

The Oakland bishop picked by Pope Benedict XVI to lead the Roman Catholic archdiocese of San Francisco was arrested over the weekend and booked into jail in San Diego on suspicion of drunken driving.

If you're looking to break into petty thievery, remember that it's always a good idea to case your mark. For instance, if you're mugging people, you don't want to run into a damn Ultimate Fighting bruiser. Likewise, if you're snatching cellphones in Uganda, you probably want to make sure that the person whose property you're after doesn't have one of the most horrifying illnesses in modern history:

A homeless man has been charged with animal cruelty after he killed a pelican with his bare hands.

There is nothing not weird and wonderful about this crime story out of Oregon. It involves drinking, sexting, and getting stoned while talking to cats.

Who says robbery doesn't strike twice?

Some awful person in a San Diego neighborhood taped a turtle to several large balloons, and then let go. Eventually the flying turtle became stuck in a large tree, where a neighbor spotted it.

In a story that lacks an easy song-based joke, "Doin It" rapper and professional hat wearer LL Cool J thwarted a home robbery this morning by detaining the potential burglar after a physical confrontation. According to the Los Angeles Times, the hip-hop legend was upstairs in his Studio City home when he heard a noise from his kitchen. Because he's clearly one of the strongest people in the world, J went down to investigate.

A Florida robbery may have been prevented if the employee of the targeted store had not been kind enough to lend the robber a pen.

Yesterday, Michael Wayne Hash, who spent 12 years in a Virginia prison for murder, had all of the charges against him dismissed. A judge found him to be innocent. He's a free man. Not every innocent prisoner is so lucky.

On July 1, Milton Hall was killed in a hail of gunfire when six Saginaw, Michigan, police officers shot him 46 times. Hall had been causing a disturbance in a convenience store and was brandishing a small knife, which is why police were on the scene in the first place. But, as you can see in the video above, it doesn't look like the 49-year-old was much of a threat to anyone at the time of his death Though a truck blocks part of the shooting, you can clearly hear gunfire continuing well past the point when Hall drops to the ground from his injuries.

Just because a man is 83 and recovering from hip surgery doesn't mean he's not dangerous.

Brain scans can tell whether you'll become an alcoholic. Brain scans can tell you're a hoarder. Brain scans can tell how old you are. Brain scans can tell if you're being ironic. And now: brain scans can literally give you your freedom.

Two months before alleged killer James Holmes stormed a Colorado movie theater, murdering 12 and injuring dozens more, police and politicians in a different place were trying to squelch the tremors from their own mass killing. It was in Chicago, over Memorial Day weekend, when police responded to more than 40 shooting victims in about 72 hours. Ten of those victims were shot dead, including four teenage children. Alas, despite the fact that more people died that weekend than in both the August 5 Sikh killings and yesterday's College Station shootings combined, there will be no flags at half-staff for those 10 Chicagoans. It's likely you didn't even know those people were dead, just like most of your friends and family. In a summer of now three much-lamented shootings with multiple victims, Chicago's murdered are the forgotten ones.

Aaron Morris of North Lauderdale, Florida, was arrested last week after he allegedly groped a woman's behind at a local Walmart.

A woman in Pennsylvania stabbed her fiance to death during an argument on their wedding day.

The blinks of a 35-year-old man, paralyzed and dying from a gunshot wound, may help convict his killer.

Last September, outside of an Austin, Texas Sears store, Willie James Sauls snatched a purse off the arm of an 84 year-old woman and fled. That's fucked up. This week, a state district judge sentenced Sauls to 45 years in prison for his crime. That is far more fucked up.