A nightclub "spat" turned into third-degree assault charges for actress Lindsay Lohan early Thursday morning after she was arrested outside Chelsea's Avenue nightclub for allegedly striking a female patron.

Alleged "Killer Nanny" Yoselyn Ortega has pleaded not guilty to killing two children in their Upper West Side home.

New York City was damn-near Utopian earlier this week when not one report of a shooting, stabbing, or slashing was recorded in any of the five boroughs for just over 36 hours.

The confrontation that resulted in the shooting death of 17-year-old Jordan Russell Davis started over loud music, according to investigators in Brevard County, Florida.

It's tough to beat the New York Post's lede - "There's no business like snow business" - so I'll let it stand. In what authorities are describing as a "dramatic drug gang takedown," New York State police seized over 100 pounds of cocaine – worth an estimated $5 million – from the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Times Square last month.

Earlier today, a man learned the hard way that, no matter how funny your joke might be, it's never a good idea to make it if it's subject is dynamite and you're in an airport. When a TACA Airlines agent asked Alejandro Hurtado if he was carrying any hazardous materials, Hurtado joked that he packed dynamite in his luggage.

For starters, Tim Allen's favorite car isn't a Porsche or a Jay Leno-ish vintage ride; no, it's a souped up 1996 Chevy Impala, which, according to Allen's website (totally worth a visit, by the way), "holds a DOHC 32-valve Corvette ZR1 engine and delivers 446 hp at 5500 rpm." I don't know what that means, but it sounds fast and loud. Also of note: "The rear also includes a "Binford 6100" badge. (Binford is the hypothetical tool manufacturer from Home Improvement's "Tool Time" show.)"

Last night, pop singer Chris Brown, who infamously and brutally beat up Rihanna in 2009, launched a verbal, scatological attack on comedy writer Jenny Johnson. Johnson has made it a bit of a hobby to antagonize the 23-year-old Brown, and last night, after she called Brown a "worthless piece of shit" on Twitter, Brown unleashed a barrage of tweets at Johnson to tell her he was going to fart on her and defecate into her eye. As the internet gathered around yet another Chris Brown temper tantrum, Brown, who has hastily deleted offensive tweets in the past, went further than usual, deleting his entire Twitter account and disappointing his legion of fans, Team Breezy.

"It was pretty despicable that someone, during this time of the year, would tell kids Santa isn't real - which of course we would argue," Const. Steve Koopman of the Kingston Police said about the 24-year-old man arrested on Saturday during the Eastern Ontario city's annual Santa Claus Parade.

John Charles Villiers-Farrow, Mia's brother, is being held in a Maryland jail after being charged with several counts of child sex abuse, including two counts of perverted practice, two counts of second-degree child abuse, two counts of second-degree assault and several counts of sex abuse of a minor, according to WRC-TV.

Earlier this year, we published several letters from American death row inmates who were scheduled for execution in 2012. Two of those letters were from Brett Hartmann, Ohio inmate 357-869. Yesterday, he was executed by lethal injection.

If you run a convenience store, and someone purchases a winning scratch-off lottery ticket worth $5 million, and you decide that you want to steal it, it seems downright greedy, even in the context of a ripoff, to do this:

Not content with simply stealing a delivery guy's car, a Hartford man decided to make some extra pocket money by finishing up the driver's route.

Upset over the result of last week's presidential election, an Arizona woman ran over her husband with her car, believing him to be directly responsible for Obama's reelection because he didn't vote.

Following Jared Loughner's January 2011 shooting rampage, which left six people dead, 13 wounded, and Congresswoman Gabby Giffords with a brain injury so bad she was forced to resign from office, Loughner was sentenced to 7 life terms, plus 140 years. But if there is a silver lining here, it's Giffords' husband Mark Kelly's call for gun-law sanity at Loughner's sentencing yesterday. Staring down his wife's attempted assassin, astronaut Mark Kelly called Loughner "cold-blooded" before launching into a righteous screed against America's absurdly lenient gun laws, and the craven politicians who cower behind the Second Amendment.

Barely a month and a half after Fox News shocked the nation by airing a car chase that ended in a graphic close-up shot of a suicide, Los Angeles-area television stations were back showing live police pursuits without a tape delay.

Sometimes after a long day rubbing self-tanner on John Boehner, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi needs a break. And if stretching her feet out and having a glass of pinot gris at her swanky pad in Napa Valley is what does the trick, then that's her prerogative.

A Des Moines delivery driver employed by Pizza Hut was caught on camera urinating on the door of a customer who neglected to provide him with the customary tip.

Now that Yoselyn Ortega, New York's so-called "Killer Nanny," is well enough to speak after stabbing two children in her care to death before stabbing herself, she has officially been charged with two counts of murder. Unfortunately for media outlets who have thus far reveled in the alarmist "Killer Nanny" tales, the story emerging from the Ortega killings is less about an evil nanny and more about a sick, sad, increasingly stressed middle-aged lady who wasn't getting the help she needed and snapped in one of the most hideous ways imaginable.

Alas, post-Sandy New York is not all feel-good tales of entrepreneurial ingenuity and upscale Halal carts; there's also been some looting. Police arrested 15 people in the Far Rockaway section of Queens and nine others in Coney Island, including one woman who was charged with possession of a firearm after police found a gun in the safe she was in the process of stealing.