Attention all: this is not a promotional photo of Jack Donaghy from 30 Rock, it is Alec Baldwin's brother, Stephen's actual, honest to God mugshot.

Ripping a page out Michael Lehmann's twisted cult classic Heathers, a Central Michigan University student allegedly tried to poison her roommate by putting bleach in her iced tea.

Ever since the Jimmy Savile sex scandal brought a bunch of BBC executives tumbling down, the UK has been, shall we say, more sensitive to the fact that famous people might have committed a bunch of sex crimes back in the Good Old Days, when sex crimes were not something that famous people much worried about. The latest famous person to be arrested and questioned about sex crimes? One of the UK's most prominent PR men, who specializes in selling tawdry sex tell-alls to the tabloids.

Some bold citizen has stolen $100K worth of jewelry from Rep. Darrell Issa's California home.

A bungling burglar who got caught in the act felt he had no choice but to call 911 on himself for fear that the homeowner might shoot him.

A gay travel agency has ranked Detroit the most dangerous place to travel for LGBT people. See also: straight people.

The man police believe pushed 58-year-old Queens man Ki Suk Han onto the tracks of the 49th Street subway station and left him there to die was formally charged with second-degree murder yesterday.

Authorities in San Jose, California, say two local residents kidnapped a handyman and held him hostage for several hours, forcing him to repair various things around their house.

An argument over the likelihood of a zombie apocalypse becoming a reality ended with a woman getting shot in the back by her boyfriend.

Bath salts, as it turns out, are no match for near-octogenarians who spent decades professionally riding bulls, a lesson Charles Smith found out the hard way. When Smith wrecked his truck in League City, Texas, he did what any reasonable person stoned to shit on bath salts would do: He grabbed his rifle and tried to break into a nearby house. Unfortunately, he picked the wrong house.

Police in Clarksville, Tennessee, say a woman who claimed she was raped by a man she met online had dropped the accusation after admitting she wasn't raped but was really just upset that the sex they had wasn't very good.

Above, left, Ohio woman Melissa Wolf in July of last year; above, right, Wolf after being arrested yesterday. (Acting on a tip, police found "several propane tanks, some containing anhydrous ammonia, chemicals to manufacture meth and a small amount of marijuana" at her home.) Should you do meth? No, you should not do meth. Wolf's mugshot, in full:

Law enforcement officials in York County, Nebraska, believe they have a key piece of evidence necessary to convict a 19-year-old woman of bank robbery and motor vehicle theft: A YouTube video she posted last week in which she brags about robbing a bank and stealing a car.

The void in Congress left by Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr., who resigned last month after spending the second half of 2012 bouncing in and out of mental institutions and bars, is vast. And the bar is high for a candidate to meet the expectations of Chicago voters, who resoundingly re-elected Jackson less than four weeks ago even though he had disappeared without a word for five months and was under federal investigation for campaign finance violations. Luckily for Chicagoans, convicted sex offender and former congressman Mel Reynolds is bravely stepping into the breach.

It's still unclear why the host of a Dominican talk show set Las Vegas-based magician Wayne Houchin's hair on fire: Some say it was an unscripted prank gone wrong; others say it was an attempted exorcism gone wrong.

The former CEO of National Lampoon has been sentenced to 50 years in prison for running a $200 million Ponzi scheme.

Essam Attia is the New York street artist responsible for placing fake NYPD ads reading "Drones: Protection When You Least Expect It" around town. In September, he gave a video interview to Animal NY, with his identity and voice obscured, in which he discussed this project and his art in general. Wednesday morning, the NYPD arrested him at home.

A Beijing-based model was sentenced earlier this week to nine months in jail for impersonating a police officer after she posted several photos of herself dressed in a revealing police uniform to a social networking site.

A weeks-long investigation by a interdepartmental task force into criminal activity involving the mayor of a northern Kentucky town concluded last night after he was arrested for allegedly selling marijuana to a police informant.

Earlier today, scofflaw Lindsay Lohan was arrested yet again for allegedly punching a woman at a Chelsea nightclub and causing "bruising and swelling" to her face.