The Air Force announced this afternoon that 37 nuclear missile officers have been implicated in academic cheating scandals and drug rings, and the ongoing investigation may turn up more misdeeds soon.

This is why parrots make bad pets: Last week, a man was reportedly busted for drunk driving after his pet parrot told police, "he's drunk."

The 71-year-old ex-cop who killed a fellow moviegoer and injured the victim's wife for texting in the theater will remain in custody without bail, because "the evidence of guilt is significant," according to the judge who arraigned him. He reportedly also had threatened movie patrons before.

If you like the homicide cop reality show The First 48, you'll love this wholesale indictment of the police work it depicts. "In Miami...at least 15 men have walked free of murder charges spawned under the program's glare."

A 17-year-old girl was found guilty of distributing child pornography after she "sexted" pictures of her boyfriend's underage ex-girlfriend during a jealous fit last year.

When Curtis Reeves Jr. killed a texting moviegoer and wounded a bystander at a theater outside Tampa yesterday with a .380 pistol, it sounded like a clear case of rage. But the 71-year-old retired cop may have been in fear for his life—and he may be able to take advantage of Florida's gun-friendly self-defense law.

A millionaire Taco Bell franchise owner was sentenced to six months in jail on Monday for stealing his dead mother's Social Security benefits for 23 years.

A shooting has been reported at Berrendo Middle School in Roswell, New Mexico. The school was put on lockdown and the shooter apprehended. Two students were injured and sent to the hospital, but no deaths have been reported.

Daniel Villegas was 16 years old when he confessed to the 1993 drive-by shooting murders of two teens in El Paso. In 1995, he was sentenced to life in prison. Now, he's about to go free.

A doctor convicted of selling at least seven newborns to human traffickers was sentenced to death on Tuesday.

Two former Fullerton, California, cops charged with killing a schizophrenic homeless man, Kelly Thomas, in 2011 were found not guilty of all charges today. Kelly Thomas' father, Ron Thomas, told the Los Angeles Times he is "stunned" by the verdict.

A man was arrested on Sunday after he confessed to killing and then eating his landlord's heart after a disagreement over a year-long chess game.

A moviegoer shot two people—one of them fatally—this afternoon, reportedly after one of them refused to stop texting during a movie.

Robby Burleigh, a 42 year-old Baton Rouge Community College professor of philosophy, biomedical ethics, and logic, is innocent until proven guilty. That said:

When two black men were accused of assaulting a white couple on the Charlottesville, Virginia, mall last month, the right-wing shriek machine immediately seized on the incident as the latest "knockout game" attack—a Drudge-fed race panic in which feral black youth are purportedly sucker-punching nice white people around the nation without reason or warning. But local law enforcement now says that the men were in fact incited by a verbal confrontation with the couple—a confrontation some witnesses say was related to their gayness.

Anonymous is at it again—and this time it's personal. The Daily Dot reports that on Wednesday night, the group leaked FBI search warrants related to the government's investigation of hacker group Lulzsec—and revealed that there were more agency moles in the gang than previously thought.

The primary benefits of legalizing weed are the end of the horribly racist and unjustifiable imprisonment of thousands of nonviolent Americans, and awkward columns from old white columnists. A good secondary benefit, though: it costs the police money.

Following the lead of Cookie Monster and Batman, a man dressed as Woody from the Toy Story films was arrested Thursday in Times Square on multiple sex charges.

George Cushingberry Jr. is probably flying high today, and not just because of the Bubba Kush he brought home from the strip club. The recently elected Detroit City Council president pro tem got off with just a ticket after taking the cops for a ride with pot and open liquor in his car.

Police Chief David O. Brown of Dallas showed off his crazy tech skills recently by publicly disciplining employees on Twitter, with more detailed accounts of their indiscretions on a complementary Facebook page. We are truly living the future.