Chris Epps resigned as head of the Mississippi Department of Corrections this week after more than a decade on the job. An indictment against him says he spent much of that time systematically robbing the state.

Stephen Ramsey, a 45-year-old lothario, was arrested in his Naples, Florida, home after getting wasted and calling 911 several times looking for a date. At one point, with a chuckle, he asked the operator about her feelings on handcuffs before hanging up.

Earlier this week, ninety-year-old activist Arnold Abbott was issued a citation for distributing food to the homeless in violation of strict new rules in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. He warned that the law wouldn't stop him, and yesterday, he was busted for filling bellies yet again.

In Fort Lauderdale, Florida, ninety-year-old volunteer worker Arnold Abbott was arrested this week for preparing and serving a meal to a group of homeless people. He faces a $500 fine and up to 60 days in jail, local news outlet KHON reports.

Last night, a three-year-old boy was shot in the leg by another toddler as the two played with a shotgun they found inside a Baltimore home. Further details are scant, but one takeaway is clear: it wouldn't have happened if there wasn't a gun in the house.

Yesterday evening, 34-year-old mother Jillian McCabe called the Newport, Oregon, police, alleging that she'd thrown her six-year-old son off the Yaquina Bay Bridge. Later that night, authorities found a body they believe to be the boy's floating near a marina.

Gary, Indiana's finest rapper, Freddie Gibbs, had a show in Williamsburg, Brooklyn last night. Someone reportedly started shooting at him, hitting two people in his entourage.

A man dressed as Laa-Laa, the yellow Teletubby, is facing charges after reportedly breaking into a home in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania early Sunday morning. He stole Chinese food.

The ACLU has released data showing that between 2004-2012, a black person in Minneapolis was 11.5 times more likely to be arrested for marijuana and nine times more likely to be arrested for disorderly conduct than a white person.

After 13 years of a spectacularly destructive and unnecessary "War on Terror" it is disheartening that this must be said, but it's better to say it now, before its legend grows: fear not the "lone wolf." All you have to fear is the myth of terror itself.

A man who was wanted for stealing a car and shoplifting in Monroe County, Tenn. was discovered inside the dark closet of another person's house, casually eating a big bowl of salad, WRCB3 reports.

When two St. Paul teens heard the door to their house open Saturday night, they were expecting their parents. Instead, they got a drunken zombie Santa Claus who had apparently lost his way and broken into the residence. As one does.

Teen boys: there's no telling where their libidos might take them. Nineteen-year-old Floridian Sean Johnson's took him to the stuffed animal section of a Tampa-area Walmart, then to its bedding department, then back to the stuffed animal section, and then to jail.

Police claim a 10-year-old boy confessed to murdering a 90-year-old woman near Scranton, Pa. Saturday. But because Pennsylvania law doesn't allow for juveniles to be charged with homicide, authorities have charged the boy as an adult.

The U.S. incarceration rate has been on the decline for several years now. That's good. But now we have jails sitting empty all over the place. What do we do with these things?

Burning up the local New York City press today: this video of a "mob" of teen hooligans vandalizing a Jewish-owned deli in Crown Heights, Brooklyn this weekend. Has the race war begun (again)???

One American has been killed and another injured after being shot by an assailant on the street in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia's capital. State reports say the Americans were in their vehicle at a gas station in the eastern part of the city. There have been unconfirmed reports that the assailant was dressed in Afghan garb.

A nurse working in a northeastern Italian hospital has been arrested as part of an investigation into the deaths of 38 patients who, cops said, she may have injected with potassium chloride because they or their family members were "annoying,"

Sometimes you fuck the bear and sometimes, well, the bear fucks you. A British man recently experienced both kinds of bear-buggery when semen he left in a teddy bear connected him to an unsolved crime.

A Seattle man grew suspicious and decided to review the footage from his home security cameras after friends told him there was no way the massive pile of shit in his front yard had come from a dog. He was rewarded with two different angles of a man walking onto his property, unhurriedly dropping his pants, and depositing a horrifying dook.