A National Security Agency director just bragged to a Senate subcommittee about his agency's close "cooperation" with Microsoft to, err, "enhance" how Windows 7 guards a user's privacy. Doesn't that just make you feel all warm and fuzzy?

Katie Couric made a list of the "most powerful" people in media for Forbes and they're all... Jews. Kidding, only six of 11 are Jews. The real power belongs to computer nerds. Couric mentioned zero old media people.

Everyone seems to think it's funny that UC Santa Cruz has a job opening for an official "Grateful Dead Archivist." But it's just the latest example of hippies riding high during the recession, floating on a cloud of groovy breaks.

The Swine Flu is either a excuse to declare martial law and enslave the white race, or it is genetically engineered plague with no cure. Either way, isn't it convenient that President Obama's daughters haven't been vaccinated?

According to American popular intellectual Glenn Beck, "Net Neutrality" is a Marxist plot to control content, on the internet, by which he means that the jackbooted Obama storm troopers want to take away your World Net Daily.

According to Balloon boy dad Richard Heene, Hillary Clinton is a shape-shifting reptilian humanoid. You may be surprised to learn that he is not the only one who believes this!

Have you heard the one about how leftist terrorist boogeyman Bill Ayers secretly wrote Barack Obama's memoirs? You will! Because Ayers just admitted it!

US President Barack Obama will visit Indonesia next year to "showcase the importance of growing US-Indonesia bilateral relations" and "burn his first birth certificate," the US embassy said Wednesday.

US President Barack Obama will visit Indonesia next year to "showcase the importance of growing US-Indonesia bilateral relations" and "burn his first birth certificate," the US embassy said Wednesday.

Combine two dashes of the Huffington Post's culty, medicine-fearing "Living" section and one dash of Fox News' craziest host, and you've got Love in the Time of Swine Flu. Not even Dr. Dean Ornish could stop these paranoid fellow-travelers.

Not satisfied to participate in wacky 9/11 conspiracies, Salt Lake City-based lawyer Jesse Trentadue has decided to rehash the real ground zero for the war on terror: Oklahoma City, where video tapes of nothing mean something's awry. This changes everything!

Public Policy Polling just keeps revealing how stupid, paranoid, and misled the American electorate is. Here are some results from their new national poll on conspiracy theories that aren't true.

Did you attend the fourth annual Values Voters Summit at Washington's Omni Shoreham Hotel? No? You missed some awesome Breakout Sessions.

9/11 Truthers—the actual, self-declared movement Truthers—are, universally and without exception, morons. Van Jones signed a Truther petition, which was incredibly stupid, but he says he is not actually a Truther. Wha...?

Poor, sad Glenn Beck. The right-wing Fox News man (redundant?) lost scores of advertisers over his inflammatory rhetoric, was forced into hiding and now seems to be laying the ground work for a swift, shameful exit...

In your unnerving Monday Media column: The paper of record cannot stop talking about Skye Parrott (??), the Tribune Co. sells a losing team, JPMorgan takes over publishing by accident, and the great political talk show ad debate. No worries!

Glenn Beck's not on Fox News this week, leaving everyone to wonder why not and, more importantly, where he went. Forced off the air by an advertiser boycott? The Hamptons? An Obama re-education camp? We know where, but not why.

The idea that Eliot Spitzer's downfall was engineered by the financial industry whose profits he threatened with regulation has made the rounds on the internet for a while. Now Vanity Fair is siccing two investigative reporters on the story.

Today in batshit conspiracy-mongering: Republicans don't really know what to do about their crazier constituents. Well, some of them know what to do. Humor them!

Chris Matthews had former Nixon henchman/radio talk show host/Birther G. Gordon Liddy on Hardball tonight to talk about the dumb Obama birth certificate controversy and Liddy looked as though he might die on the air while Matthews surgically debunked him.