Each week, a handful of reader comments are selected for inclusion and veneration in the Gold Star Motel. Standards of excellence are arbitrary, fluid, and contradictory. The reward is strictly honorary (at best). This week, all the Gold Stars are taken from the terrible and hilarious puns in the "Rewriting the Post" thread yesterday about Jim McGreevey becoming an Episcopalian priest, just because.
So far this week, our ongoing process of "efficiency management" of commenters (our most precious natural resource! No, really!) hasn't been easy. But the great thing about Gawker commenters is that there are always at least five of you who are begging for a little downsizing. (Much like some people who work here!) Let's put our fake sad faces on and say goodbye to the week's "voluntarily" departed.
Each week, a handful of reader comments are selected for inclusion and veneration in the Gold Star Motel. Standards of excellence are arbitrary, fluid, and contradictory. The reward is strictly honorary (at best). This week:
I gave up drinking coffee again yesterday. Obviously this is the worst decision that anyone in my position could ever possibly make, but whatever. I had to stop drinking it because it was fucking with my tummy. Know what else fucks with my tummy? Being pilloried by random internet strangers about my appearance in our blog comments. "Oh, the irony," you'll say. And you'll be wrong! This is our playground. Get your own damn blogs, men. It's easy.
Once in a great while a post here comes along that inspires so much commenter imbecility that we want to make redundant each and every person who posts a "quip" in it. Unfortunately, that's a pain for us to code, so we've just picked five people from this week's nightmare.
Each week, a handful of reader comments are selected for inclusion and veneration in the Gold Star Motel. Standards of excellence are arbitrary, fluid, and contradictory. The reward is strictly honorary (at best). This week:
Hey, remember when the owner of the Washington Bullets changed the team's name to the Washington Wizards? Because he suddenly realized that bullets kill and violence is bad? Given the events earlier in the week, we've come to a somewhat similar realization. (We're still arguing about it, actually. Too soon v. sensitivity v. being a jerk v. English use v. being in favor of some kinds of violence but not others, etc.) Anyway! Hence our fancy new name for commenter bans. (If it worked for America's corporations, it works for us!) Much like the transformation of Viacom employees into permalancers, no lay-off is necessarily permanent here. Still, time to turn in your final TPS reports and say your goodbyes below.
Each week, a handful of reader comments are selected for inclusion and veneration in the Gold Star Motel. Standards of excellence are arbitrary, fluid, and contradictory. The reward is strictly honorary (at best). This week:
From time to time, we find it's helpful (we are here for no reason if not to serve) to remind both new readers and grizzled veterans of the comments box alike how one can gain access to the exciting and semiprivileged world of official Defamer commenters. Sound like the next few minutes of your life are going to be fun and informative? Good, because they totally are! So how does one sign up for one of those fancy commenting logins? Here's how:
Each week, a handful of reader comments are selected for inclusion and veneration in the Gold Star Motel. Standards of excellence are arbitrary, fluid, and contradictory. The reward is strictly honorary (at best). This week:
Each week, thousands of reader comments are rejected by our sharp-eyed hall monitor Intern Kaila. In this installment of Mold Star Motel, Kaila recognizes that there are identifiable patterns, repetitions — nay, archetypes - for rejected commenters, and that maybe, just maybe, we can see a little bit of ourselves and our tendencies in some of them. See if you stack up:
Each week, a handful of reader comments are selected for inclusion and veneration in the Gold Star Motel. Standards of excellence are arbitrary, fluid, and contradictory. The reward is strictly honorary (at best). This week:
Re:Let Jason Calacanis Make YOU A Famous Blogger
• Jason Calcanis:
" would just like to add that impossible is nothing, and that you should never let people hold you back. If someone tries to tell you that you can't be an A-list blogger cross them out of your life—never speak to them again.
It will also help if you keep yourself physically fit—a strong body equals a strong blog post.
best regards,
JDAWG
(currently bench pressing 80 pounds with a 16MPG ping pong serve that you will not be able to return)"
Each week, a handful of reader comments are selected for inclusion and veneration in the Gold Star Motel. Standards of excellence are arbitrary, fluid, and contradictory. The reward is strictly honorary (at best). This week:
Each week, a handful of reader comments are selected for inclusion and veneration in the Gold Star Motel. Standards of excellence are arbitrary, fluid, and contradictory. The reward is strictly honorary (at best). This week:
Each week, thousands of reader comments are rejected by our sharp-eyed hall monitor Intern Kaila. In honor of today's closing ceremonies for an American icon, we have selected some of the most interesting rejected comments concerning the late Anna Nicole Smith. Please bear in mind that all these comments are real, and that individuals actually sat down and typed them out, sometimes even spell-checking them first. We may mock our regular commenters on occasion, but you guys are positively Shakespearean compared to these folks. Take a look:
Each week, a handful of reader comments are selected for inclusion and veneration in the Gold Star Motel. Standards of excellence are arbitrary, fluid, and contradictory. The reward is strictly honorary (at best). This week:
Periodically, it's necessary to take a moment to explain our seemingly complicated and maddeningly semi-exclusive commenting features to new readers unfamiliar with their arcane workings, and to help remind our longtime companions about how things work around here, recognizing that the part of their brains responsible for retaining such knowledge was probably smoothed during last night's Grey-Goose-and-strawberry-blow binge. So how does one become a Defamer commenter, you didn't ask, but we're pretending you did anyway?
Yesterday's DealBook ran a post about Black Enterprise's "75 Most Powerful Blacks on Wall Street" cover story, noting the historical and continuing under-representation of African Americans in the financial services industries. Comments on the article started with "People said the same things about Jews on Wall Street when I was young. Was just a matter of time for my generation to get the education required to enter the system. In the banking and investment game cream rises to the top," and just got better from there. After the jump, a selection of some of our favorites.
