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Each week, a handful of reader comments are selected for inclusion and veneration in the Gold Star Motel. Standards of excellence are arbitrary, fluid, and contradictory. The reward is strictly honorary (at best). This week:

Re: Kreepie Kats: Klonopin Is Taking It From An N+1er
• Phyllis Nefler: "Can I take it from Ketchup? FUPA [*] notwithstanding. Hmm, now that I think of it, pun intended on the "P" in FUPA." [Ed Note: technically Ketchup has a FLPA.]

Re:Modern Love: You Own Some Babies!
• The Real JR:
"Slightly OT, but I went to that First Saturdays thing at the Brooklyn Museum this past weekend and I totally have to say... there are too many fucking babies in Brooklyn. Holy shit. And these parents let these kids just walk around everywhere with no reining in. You're watching a performance, Capoeira no less, and a toddler's just wandering around like it's Gymboree or something. Then they're plowing those giant strollers through the wine-ladened 11pm after party like it's Target...

I mean, I know I'm all late on this and I've been "ha-ha'ing" with the rest of you about the Park Slope complaints and shit, but I mean like, when you see it for yourself... GOT DAMN! It's like reading Angelina talk about Darfur or actually being chased down by a wild-eyed screaming Janjaweed hanging out the back of a jeep swingin a machete at your head. I mean, dayum."

Re:Reading 'Russia'!
• KarenUhOh:
"If you have a magazine in which Dave Eggers gets fucked from behind by a bear in order to make cabbage in a few easy steps, I would be interested in subscribing."

Re:From The Managing Editor: A Chris Noth Apology
• momo:
"Choire Bradshaw?" [Ed Note: Umm, totally fuck you for putting this in, Emily! —c.]

Re:From The Managing Editor: A Chris Noth Apology
• sexbot:
"I feel bad for the guy. I saw him in SoHo once and every Midwestern tourist housewife was pissing her stretch pants because MR. BIG was walking down the street. Oh yeah, and it was 3:30 pm on a Tuesday, and he still looked hung over. By the way, where the fuck is the guy that played Steve on SATC? I'd let that dude fist me on Christmas morning."

Re: Cornell Student Hates "West Bushwick"
• janine:
"I propose a new reality TV show where Chris Noth confronts different "New Yorkers" and explains to them why they must leave. He is, of course, free to run his hand back and forth over his bristle of hair during these interventions."

Re:Was Daniel Really Danniellynn's Daddy?
• blackstrap:
"what if SHE is the father? woooaaahhh"

Earlier: Tastes Like Obligation