Michael Bloomberg looks pretty good for his age. But he could always look better! Thanks to the magical powers of New Beauty magazine's highly addictive Instant Makeover Tool—do not visit the site unless you're prepared to fritter away half your afternoon—we subjected the mayor to an eyebrow lift, eyelid fold, blepharoplasty, rhinoplasty, lip augmentation and jaw contouring, and then used some injectibles for treat those depressing nasolabial folds and frown lines of his. He turned out quite nicely, don't you think? You can review larger before-and-after photos here, if you'd like to inspect our work more closely. Now all Bloomberg needs to do is make an appointment with the plastic surgeon of his choice and we can all look forward to a much more fresh-faced mayor on the campaign trail this fall.

Yesterday it was reported that Morgan Stanley would be "first in line" to pay back the money it received last fall from the U.S government as part of the good ol' TARP. Morgan Stanley won't be able to claim that honor, sadly. U.S. Bancorp and BB&T were the first banks to repay the government in full today. Morgan and Goldman Sachs are now claiming that they plan to settle the matter by the end of the day. Let's hurry it up, gentlemen. It's not like bureaucrats in Washington work investment banking hours, you know. [NYT/Dealbook]

Ever wish you could look like the Real Housewives of New Jersey? Or, more likely, wish you could look nothing like the Real Housewives of New Jersey? Well, W gets to the bottom of the tanning, botoxing, buffing, and spackling routines of Caroline, Danielle and Dina (who, along with Teresa and Jacqueline, put on quite the table-throwing season finale last night). Mimic or avoid at your own discretion.

Bernie Madoff has been sued by a long list of former investors. Now his sons will get to share in the excitement. Two former employees of Bernard L. Madoff Securities have filed suit against Andy and Mark Madoff and claim the two brothers were well aware of the $65 billion Ponzi scheme and made efforts to "cloak the massive fraud of the Madoff investment advisory business." Richard Stahl and Reed Abend are now demanding $2 million in deferred compensation from the Madoff boys. And while it's unlikely the sons could come up with that kind of cash even if they wanted to, Abend, at least, could always resort to extra-legal justice if he's forced to. He's the same ex-employee who allegedly shoved and punched Andy Madoff when he ran into him on the street back in May. [NYDN]

• Publishing heir Robert Ziff has dropped the price of his three-bedroom condo at the Trump International. The 41st-floor pad, which Ziff picked up for $5 million back in 2001 before moving to 720 Park a couple of years later, first went on the market for $13 million in July 2008. It's now listed for $11.5 million. [Cityfile, Sotheby's]
• Selling the triplex penthouse at 895 Park that once belonged to the late producer Charles Evans hasn't been easy. The co-op's board, led by real estate developer Dan Brodsky, has turned down an offer for the third time. Now that the unidentified financier's $14 million bid has been rejected, the apartment is now back on the market for $15.5 million. [NYO, Stribling, previously]
• KKR partner Alexander Navab has put his four-bedroom apartment at the River House on the market for $24.5 million. The 4,806-square-foot co-op comes with terrace, private elevator, and river views. [Real Deal, Sotheby's]
• Real estate developer Andrew Heiberger has sliced 12 percent off the asking price of his townhouse at 161 East 63rd Street, which he bought for $8.15 million in 2004 and put on the market for $16.85 million in February. The six-story mansion is now listed for $14.85 million. [Real Deal, Sotheby's]

Venus Williams turns 29 today. Greg Kinnear is turning 46. Comedian Will Forte is 39. Newt Gingrich is turning 66. Rep. Jack Murtha is 73. Architect Liz Diller turns 55. Actor Thomas Haden Church is 49. Director Bobby Farrelly is turning 51. British director Ken Loach is 73. Latin singer Paulina Rubio is 38. Real estate heir Andrew Farkas is 49. Plastic surgeon Gerald Pitman turns 67. Retired General Tommy Franks is turning 64. And Barry Manilow celebrates his 66th birthday today.

• Here's a rather unlikely rumor but an amusing one all the same: Prince William is supposedly thinking of moving to America with his girlfriend, Kate Middleton, and the two have been spotted house-hunting in Malibu. Frankly, if they were going to move to America—and they're probably not—we see them as more of a New York couple. And NYC could use a prince roaming around, couldn't it? Let's all cross our fingers and hope for the best. [E!]
• Countess (and not-so-real housewife) LuAnn de Lesseps was spotted hanging out with young men and doing tequila shots at a club in the Hamptons last weekend. And the earth continues to rotate on its own axis, too. [P6]
• That was quick. Just a couple of weeks after Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson supposedly reunited, the couple appears to have split up again—and it's all Nicole Richie's fault, too. Or maybe they never got back together at all? Feel free to take your pick. [E!, People, AH]

Ed Koch is in the hospital and will undergo heart surgery over the next few days. It's nothing too serious: He's scheduled to have an aortic valve replaced and reports that he's in good spirits. The former mayor also says the food at Columbia-Presbyterian is pretty tasty, just in case you have a medical emergency in the near future and you want to factor that bit of info into the decision about which local hospital to go to. [NY1, NYP]

• More on the winners and losers—both at the dinner and on the red carpet—at last night's CFDA Awards. [NYT, FWD, Cut, TDB, Pipeline]
• Not surprisingly, the powers that be at Calvin Klein aren't the least bit displeased by the new controversy surrounding their not-so-new ad campaign for the company's jeans line. [Cut]
• Say it ain't so: Britain's Mirror reports Agyness Deyn is "quitting modeling and New York and coming home to concentrate on her acting career." [Mirror]
• Because he's willing to do whatever it takes to ensure you see his movie when it comes out, Sacha Baron Cohen appears in the buff on GQ's new cover. [GQ]

• The words "fresh food" and "Port Authority Bus Terminal" don't usually go together, but an indoor Greenmarket will debut inside the terminal this week. In related news, the Greenmarket in McCarren Park is moving. [NYT, BP]
• Mark your calendars: NYC Restaurant Week kicks off July 12. [NYology]
• Mexican food cart Calexico opens its first physical location next week. [GS]
• An update on Ed "Jean Luc" Kleefield's faded restaurant empire. [Curbed]
• Tom Colicchio appears in a viral ad for "Tru Blood," a "synthetic blood nourishment beverage" featured on the HBO show True Blood. Classy, no? [GS]
• DJ Cassidy on his fave eatery (Sushi Seki) and guiltiest pleasure (JAPs). [BB]
• Canada Dry's "heart-healthy" ginger ale with green tea will probably not reduce your chances of developing heart disease, just so you know. [WSJ]

Some people are toning things down because of the recession. Then there's Andrew Farkas, the real estate heir and yaching aficionado who purchased the Montauk Yacht Club in 2007 and has since presided over a multi-million-dollar renovation of the property. Farkas is hoping "to lure the mega-yacht crowd into his slips and turn his club into a nightlife destination," reports Vanity Fair's Jessica Flint, and to drum up interest in the M.Y.C.—as well as celebrate the club's 80th anniversary and his own birthday—Farkas hosted a Great Gatsby–themed party last weekend:

Daily Intel has some exciting news this afternoon about Marisa Noel Brown. (You remember Marisa, don't you? She's the daughter of Walter Noel, the hedge fund manager who lost about $7 billion of his investors' money to Bernie Madoff.) It seems Marisa started a jewelry line last fall—a couple of months before the Noel name was disgraced forever—and Marisa happily reports that for the next week, her line will be featured in window of Henri Bendel on Fifth Avenue. Yay! She also says her company now has a website; do note that she seems to have dropped the "Noel" and is going by "Marisa Brown" these days. Do also give serious consideration to purchasing one of her $50-85 creations. "There's always the chance that Irving Picard will sue them and redistribute their profits to the old people and charities that lost all their money to Bernie Madoff." [NYM/Daily Intel]

Keith Olbermann already lives at the Trump Palace on East 69th Street: He paid $4.2 million for a 2,100-square foot, three-bedroom apartment on the building's 40th floor in 2007. But that's clearly not enough space for the MSNBC host: Two weeks ago, Olbermann paid $810,000 for a 7th floor apartment in the same building. Guest quarters for out-of-town visitors? An abode for his cleaning lady?

Is being rich in NYC the same as being rich in SoCal? And is there a way for a New Yorker to answer this question with a "hell no," without automatically making him sound like he doth protest too much? Based on the evidence in the Wall Street Journal's Speakeasy story about NYC Prep, Bravo's forthcoming reality show about private school kids in the city (though, as critics have pointed out, one of the subjects goes to Styuvesant and the other attends private school on Long Island), not so much.

• It's an ugly day at MySpace. The News Corp.-owned social network is slashing nearly 30 percent of its staff, or 400 people, due to a decline in sales. [BN, PC]
• Protesters in Iran have been using Twitter to keep up with developments on the ground. Now the State Department is stepping in and asking the company to put off a planned upgrade so service isn't disrupted. [Reuters]
• MTV entertainment president Brian Graden is departing the network. [NYP]
• It's official: NBC is dumping Live at Five and replacing it with an hour-long "daily information, lifestyle and entertainment show." [NYO]
• Interview dropped editorial director Glenn O'Brien last week. Now the magazine's parent company, Brant Publications, is suing him for allegedly breaking the terms of his confidentiality agreement. [WWD]

The New York Daily News dismissed gossip writer Sean Evans last Friday. The paper has yet to name a replacement to head up the Gatecrasher column with Laura Schreffler, and from the looks of things, the recruitment process isn't going very smoothly. Filling in for the week is "swag hag" Sarah Polonsky, the former National Enquirer reporter who worked very briefly at Page Six in late 2006, but was fired for running afoul of the paper's ban on accepting freebies. (Most recently, she's headed up a website called Cellofame.com.) Guard your gift bags, publicists! Polonsky's email below.

A few more photos from last night's CFDA Awards after the jump.

Victory is ours! After losing the top spot in the annual survey of the nation's angriest drivers, New York City has once again risen to the top of the heap, beating out Miami, which placed No. 1 last year. "New Yorkers were most likely to wave their fists or arms. They were most likely to lay on the horn and they were most likely to make some sort of obscene gesture," explained Michael Bush, of the marketing firm Affinion Group, which commissioned the survey. You knew all of this, of course. But a little validation goes a long way. [NYDN]

"Investors say they are getting more promotional material from hedge funds than ever before, as funds seek to replenish assets withdrawn or lost because of negative performance during the financial crisis." Does this mean you may find Dan Loeb shoving a flyer under your door in the near future? Not necessarily. But you probably shouldn't rule it out either. [Reuters]

It's a good thing we've been closely monitoring the pages of ¡Hola! magazine. Otherwise we might have never realized that the "EXCLUSIVE tour" of Ivana Trump's townhouse on People's website was comprised of the same photos that appeared in the Spanish-language tabloid almost two months ago. But it's a good thing that Ivana's shockingly embarrassing taste in home décor has now been exposed to readers on multiple continents, isn't it? [¡Hola!, People]