It's been a couple of months since we've had a juicy Wall Street bonus scandal. The Post is hoping to reignite the drama today by reporting that Bank of America—which was not one of the financial institutions that returned its bailout cash this week—is continuing to hand out big checks to senior execs. Bank of America insists it has no choice, and that if it doesn't hand out the money, people will flee the firm and work someplace else. You can decide for yourself who you want to feel most sorry for today: the American taxpayer, who's funding these payouts; BofA employees who need to be overcompensated to get them to work at Wall Street's equivalent of the Titantic; or the poor BofA public relations person who doesn't qualify for a big bonus but clearly has the crappiest job at the bank. [NYP]

It may seem as if Michael Bloomberg has it all. But money doesn't buy you everything, you know. All the riches in the world can't turn a nebbishy guy from Medford, Massachusetts into Tiger Woods, and so despite all the effort the mayor has put into improving his golf game since taking up the sport in 2000, he hasn't been able to improve all that much. But it's not like he doesn't want to. He's "obsessed" with the game, according to Christine Quinn. And it's not as if he isn't trying. He is. He really is.

Looks like the party may be ending soon at Southampton's Pink Elephant. David Sarner's nightlife company filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection yesterday, listing more than $2 million in debts, including $776,000 in back taxes. The crisis in clubland continues, clearly. You can peruse the bankruptcy papers—and long list of creditors—for yourself after the jump.

Courtney Love sitting on a stoop with a friend in the West Village ... Usher arriving at JFK ... Whitney Port hanging out with a friend in SoHo ... LeBron James walking around in Harlem ... Lindsay Lohan heading into Blue & Cream on Bowery ... Donald Sutherland carrying luggage outside the London NYC in Midtown ... Diane Sawyer walking in Times Square ... Queen Latifah getting in a limo ... Rihanna going to dinner at Scalinatella on East 61st Street ... Alessandra Ambrosio carrying daughter Anja Louise in the Village ... Tracy Morgan sitting down on the set of A Couple of Cops in Brooklyn ... Ashley Tisdale grabbing coffee with boyfriend Scott Speer ... Melissa Joan Hart walking in Midtown ... Michelle Pfeiffer getting out of an SUV outside ABC Studios ... George Lopez leaving his hotel in Midtown ... Robert Pattinson filming scenes for his new movie, Remember Me, in Greenwich Village ... and Heidi Klum leaving Bar Pitti.

• Vogue creative director Grace Coddington has sold her West Village apartment nearly a year after picking up a loft in Chelsea. The buyer of the condo, which Coddington bought back in 1987: Josephine de la Baume, the model, actress and girlfriend of Mark Ronson, who paid $1.45 million for the 1,100-square-foot apartment. [Cityfile]
• Investor Derek Quinlan has lowered the price of his mansion at 20 East 64th Street. The 13,000-square-foot home, which Quinlan bought from investment banker Roberto de Guardiola and his wife Joanne for $26.25 million in 2006 and put on the market with Dolly Lenz and Monique Silberman for $37 million in April, is now priced at $32 million. [NYP, PDE]
• Roxanne Quimby, co-founder of Burt's Bees, has picked up a pied-à-terre. The Maine-based entrepreneur paid $1.025 million for a one-bedroom condo in the Printing House building at 421 Hudson Street. [Cityfile]

Isabella Rossellini turns 57 today. Sir Paul McCartney is turning 67. Former Portfolio editor Joanne Lipman is 48. NY1 reporter Dominic Carter is turning 45. Longtime lawyer Barry Slotnick turns 70. Social fixture Kate Schelter is 33. Literary agent David Vigliano is turning 50. Actress Carol Kane is 57. West Virginia Senator Jay Rockefeller is turning 72. And film critic Roger Ebert is celebrating his 67th birthday today.

• This is a bizarre one: Two police chiefs in Ohio are now under investigation for allegedly breaking into the home of the surrogate mom hired by Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick in an effort to dig up dirt on the woman, which they then planned to sell to the tabloids or use to blackmail the couple. [Us, E!, NYDN]
• Madonna is gearing up for the arrival of baby Mercy. Gwynnie is helping to decorate and Mercy's room will supposedly feature "porcelain dolls, antique teddy bears, a library of leather-bound children's books and ancient maps of Africa to adorn the walls." [Sun]
• It looks like Lindsay Lohan is off the hook for that $400,000 jewel heist the other day. So at least there's one thing looking up for her. [NYDN]

Yet one more reason to be a tad suspicious of anything you come across on TMZ: Just 24 hours before Billy Joel and Katie Lee announced that they were separating, TMZ reported that they'd heard from a "source" that the Piano Man was looking to buy his wife a restaurant in the Hamptons, and was currently "eying a spot in Sag Harbour [sic]." Guess not! The site's very juicy exclusive is below.

• Topshop is offering free bike rentals beginning this Saturday, strangely. [SF]
• Jimmy Choo is the latest brand to climb into bed with H&M. [WWD, SW]
• Helena Christensen is designing a linens line, apparently. [Cut]
• Sophia Kokosalaki is taking over Diesel's Black Gold line. [Vogue UK]
• Is Vera Wang really going to be on Dancing With the Stars? Maybe! [Cut]
• Simon Doonan on the state of things: "Fashion is currently going through a John the Baptist hair-shirt kind of period. Self-indulgence has been replaced by self-flagellation. All I can say is, 'Stop it, girls! Stop it before it's too late.'" [NYO]

• Hotel Griffou opens in the old Marylou's space this evening. [NYT, GS]
• New York Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni serves up a one-star review to a "somewhat confused and confusing" Rye in today's paper. [NYT]
• Bloomberg's Ryan Sutton has very good things to say about Aldea. [BN]
• Rumor has it Café Gitane will open at the Jane Hotel this fall. [TFB]
• Speaking of the Jane, here's another photo tour of the new bar. [Gothamist]
• Did you know that restaurants make more money when they remove dollar signs from the menu? Or that chefs place the dishes they want to sell on the center of the inside right page of their menu? It's true. [Baltimore Sun via GS]

Exciting news about pharmaceutical billionaire Stewart Rahr landed in our inbox today: "Stewart Rahr produced his first feature film, Shannon's Rainbow starring an award winning cast including Julianne Michelle, Daryl Hannah, Louis Gossett Jr., Eric Roberts, Claire Forlani, Krista Allen, Charles Durning, Steve Guttenberg, Stephen Colletti, Scott Eastwood, Jason Gedrick, and Melissa Spielberg Katz. Rahr is King of Hollywood now!" Does that make Lisa Maria Falcone the queen? Possibly! All you info you need about Rahr's exciting new film—"the story of a 17-year-girl who faces and overcomes hardship with the love of a horse and the mother she never knew she had"—available here.

William von Mueffling, the hedge funder who left Lazard in 2003 to found Cantillon Capital Management—and who had quite the run during the boom days, taking home $250-300 million in 2007—is shutting down his funds due to "ongoing turmoil in the markets," according to the Journal. Expect slightly uncomfortable conversation with Pete Peterson and Felix Rohatyn in the elevator of 810 Fifth later this evening. [WSJ, Dealbreaker]

Eddie Bauer filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection this afternoon. Not that you've ventured inside an Eddie Bauer store over the past decade or anything. But we thought we'd mention it anyway. Carry on. [CNN]

In news that will probably leave you speechless with surprise, Billy Joel and third wife Katie Lee Joel confirmed this afternoon they're splitting up. "After nearly five years of marriage, Billy and Katie have decided to separate," reps for the couple told the Daily News. "This decision is the result of much thought and consideration. Billy and Katie remain caring friends, with admiration and respect for each other." Naturally, the decision to part ways had nothing at all to do with the rumors that Lee's been dating designer Yigal Azrouël. They've been doing a very good job keeping that one under wraps, clearly. [NYDN]

Zagat's new nightlife survey has some details on how the city's bars and clubs have been faring amid the downturn. Roughly half of the 6,000 New Yorkers surveyed reported going out less often because of the economy, although 67 percent said the nightlife scene was "the same as it ever was," which is nice to hear, of course, but may come as news to people who remember the days when no one knew what HIV was, the idea of a smoking ban would have been laughable, and clubgoers had yet to figure out that the obsessive use of cocaine can kind of screw up your life. According to the survey, the Lower East Side is NYC's "hottest nightlife neighborhood," while the meatpacking district was named "most over-rated/or over-hyped." As for "the growing trend of bars with master mixologists," more than half of the people surveyed said it was "an excuse to charge more for drinks." You've been warned, Sasha Petraske.

There's a new game in town: misery poker. Perhaps you've played? In these dreary days of recession, it's all the rage. The rules are simple: Anytime someone complains about their day, you try and trump it, explaining why yours was worse. Your brother got yelled at by his boss? You got yelled at by your boss, your boyfriend and the doorman. Your friend lost her job? At least she gets eight weeks severance, you're cut off. Your wife spent all day taking care of the kids? At least she has a nanny to help out. You're on your own 80 hours a week. "Instead of sharing our misery, we seem to be using it as a competitive weapon," observes the Wall Street Journal. Damn straight.

Maybe it's just us, but if you're going to announce a televised interview with Eliot Spitzer, you might want to leave the whole "intimate evening" bit out of it. [Marketwire, EOS New York]

• David Letterman's ratings have gone up thanks to his very public spat with Sarah Palin. So don't be the least bit surprised if it continues. [NYT]
• Ann Moore signed a new contract with Time Inc. that will keep her around through 2012; John Squires, meanwhile, has a new gig at the company. [NYP]
• Newsweek is cutting out an issue this summer. You can guess why. [WSJ]
• Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia's latest project? That would be something called "Martha University," which sounds horrifying, frankly. [PC]
• Michael Gross's new book isn't available at the New York Public Library and chances are Annette de la Renta had something to do with it. [NYO]
• Negotiations continue between the Boston Globe and union reps. "People briefed on the talks say a deal is close." Don't hold your breath. [NYT]

The High Line celebrated its grand debut with a splashy, Calvin Klein-sponsored party on Monday night. Naturally, Lisa Falcone and her husband, Phil Falcone, were in attendance: The hedge fund founder made a $10 million donation to the elevated park a week or so before it was unveiled to the public. Lisa took a few minutes to address the crowd at Monday night's party, and her speech came off as a bit loopy, according to people who were there.

Do you have friends or family coming to visit this summer? Manhattan User's Guide has a list of 100 things that you can suggest they do when they're here so they stay out of your hair. [MUG]