Tainted milk is so last season. The latest Chinese product recall is a magazine. After a GQ story about spoiled twenty-somethings drew lawsuits and questions about journalistic ethics, the mag yanked issues from the shelves. Business Insider explains why.

The fall of the Berlin Wall. D-Day. Reagan's heroic invasion of Grenada. The tumbling Saddam Hussein statue. Okay, forget the last one, but some events throughout history mark the birth of Freedom. And now in China, internet porn is accessible!

[A week after a pipeline explosion, workers are fighting to contain 1,500 tons of spilled crude in the Chinese port of Dalian. Workers are using their bare hands and 23 tons of oil-eating bacteria to clean up. Pic: AP]

In the U.S., Pabst Blue Ribbon (or PBR) is a cheap, unpretentious beer popular among hipsters. In China, it's "Blue Ribbon 1844," costs about $44 a bottle, and is called a "world-famous spirit." It also comes in a funny bottle.

On Wednesday, an unidentified flying object was spotted near the Xiaoshan Airport in Hangzhou, China, causing 12 inbound flights to be diverted and temporarily closing the airport. An aviation official today said, "No conclusion has yet been drawn." [China Daily]

In your futuristic Thursday media column: Sam Zell has seen the old-fashioned future, Dan Abrams luvs sexxxy vids, Chinese propagandists invade Times Square, and the NYT spit-shines the shoes of each and every government bureaucrat, as a matter or policy.

The New York Times: brave enough to write a story about "China's Taste For Nuts," but too timid to laugh about it. Shame.

In your hateful Thursday media column: CNN staffers hate Eliot Spitzer, Newsweek hates China, a former Newsday editor moves to NY1, the NYT gets itself a fancy "Tumblr," and whites spotted on the teevee.

The Way We Live Now: Wrinkled. Our faces wrinkle from stress. Our money is wrinkled from our tight grasps. And our clothes are wrinkled, because the god damn Chinese are taking over the ironing board industry. Smooth-clothed bastards.

The Way We Live Now: Throwing everything against the crumbling wall to see what sticks. What sticks: cutting back every penny of spending. Then the wall falls down. Then we rob the bank the wall was attached to.

Chinese authorities are cracking down on the production of "low quality" statues of Chairman Mao Zedung because poor depictions are harming "people's feelings for the great man." Official statues are examined by five experts before being sold. [Xinhua, Getty]

At least 46 were killed in a coal mine explosion in the Chinese province of Henan.

Chinese manufacturers are set to rake in huge profits from the sale of the traditional South African plastic noisemaker, the vuvuzela, as the worldwide craze has hit back home. 90% of the horns in South Africa were made in China.

A new report called the Global Peace Index says that America is one big, violent place. So what exactly is taken into account when deciding which countries are the most peaceful, and where does America stand? Let's take a look.

56-year-old Chinese farmer Yang Youde got tired of commercial property developers lowballing him and trying to demolish his home, so he built and fired some rockets at them. The short-range rockets held off an onslaught of 100 people.

What is happening in our inexplicably awful and violent world today? Well there was another stabbing rampage in China, of course—this one on a train. It was unspeakably nightmarish! That was just for starters.

The psychos of China have upgraded from killing defenseless school children with knives to killing three judges with an automatic weapon. Once they combine the guns with the school attacks, they'll be just like us. [WSJ]

A worker at iPhone manufacturer FoxConn has fallen to his death—the tenth such incident this year.

According to The Sun, a Chinese father chained his son to a lamppost and tried to auction him off, advertising his work ethic. After being asked about the child's diet, the father was attacked by bystanders. [The Sun]

[Flawless Secretary of State Hillary Clinton inadvertently intercepts Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner and Chinese Vice Premier Wang Qishan when they try to shake hands today in Beijing. Image via Getty]