In your futuristic Thursday media column: Sam Zell has seen the old-fashioned future, Dan Abrams luvs sexxxy vids, Chinese propagandists invade Times Square, and the NYT spit-shines the shoes of each and every government bureaucrat, as a matter or policy.

  • Hahaha, old Sam Zell has another theory on newspapers! He thinks print newspapers will be replaced by PDFs. Hmm, or people could, you know, read the newspapers on the internet, where they already are, but not in annoying PDF form. Always thinking, Sam Zell! (Sam Zell's last theory about newspapers: "I can make money with them.").
  • Dan Abrams is apparently paying cash money for sexxxy videos now. Times are tough these days, so, if you need to make ends meet... just FYI.
  • Chinese propaganda agency Xinhua is setting up an office in Times Square, not far from the headquarters of US propaganda agency Fox News.
  • A study out yesterday revealed how American newspapers immediately stopped referring to waterboarding as "torture" when the US government did so, because they are bootlicking government toadies, very generally speaking. Today, the NYT defends itself in a statement to Michael Calderone:

  • "As the debate over interrogation of terror suspects grew post-9/11, defenders of the practice (including senior officials of the Bush administration) insisted that it did not constitute torture...[editorial writers] regard waterboarding as torture and believe that it fits all of the moral and legal definitions of torture...So that's what we call it, which is appropriate for the opinion pages."

  • Like we said, bootlicking government toadies (very generally speaking).