Let's all let out the deep breaths we've been holding in anticipation of the G.I. Joe sequel (wouldn't it be great if this was actually a G.I. Jane sequel? Wait, would it? We'll never know!). Yes, it is here and it looks, I don't know, violent? Action packed? Explosive? It's certainly got all the trimmings of a summer blockbuster flick. There's a ninja sword fight on the face of a mountain. Cue the exclamation points.

Here's the trailer for 21 Jump Street, the latest in a long line of incredibly good, successful, award-winning, hilarious, and terrific movies that take beloved (or at least, well-remembered, in a fond if kind of vague way) old dramatic television shows and turn them into comedies involving vomit jokes. It stars skinny Jonah Hill!

Here's a trailer for The Vow, a Nicholas Sparksian drama that, shockingly, Nicholas Sparks had nothing to do with. The film is actually based on the true story of a woman with amnesia struggling to learn to love her husband again.

I know you never thought it possible, but little Troy Bolton is about to get sexual and thrilling, all at once. Also today: tons of TV news about renewals and cancellations, plus a sexy little companion piece to the Efron news.

Not if he gets his way in his next movie he won't. Also today: pilot casting including roles for an old WB favorite and a new CW regular, Tom Hanks and Tim Allen hop aboard the lucrative theme park ride adaptation movie racket, and Christina Aguilera gets her sentence.

When it comes to embracing iconic haircuts, America would rather bask in the '90s glory of The Rachel rather than the '10s wonderment of The Bieber—well, at least at the box office. Everyone says Bieber is shitty, but today he is officially number two.

Today at Gawker.TV, Michelle Obama talks about keeping her love life alive in the White House, Piers Morgan disagrees with the Winkelvoss twins, Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell talk shit about each other in consecutive interviews on Access Hollywood Live.

"When you're 18 or 19 in Florida and broke, you're pretty much ready to do anything." This really speaks for itself, but to save you the suspense, for Channing anything included stripping.

It's true. A famous priest who angered the church by following his natural urges will soon be a national TV star. Also today: news from Sundance, some good and some bad, plus James Franco's getting into the porn world.

Here's a trailer for the Sundance movie Son of No One, a police drama directed by Dito Montiel and starring Channing Tatum as a cop who uncovers an old cold case. Plus there's Tracy Morgan, being... serious? Yes indeed.

You can thank Glee for that. Also today: a new time travel movie is confusing, we need a farm boy to go kill a giant, a TV adaptation gets its leads, and an Ugly Betty favorite makes good.

You didn't think it possibly could be, but they've begun casting and there is some bad news. Also today: Get ready for a Coastguard adventure, a Nicole Richie wonderment, and a bachelorette party show that's sure to stun.

Here's a trailer for the Roman period piece The Eagle, about animate bologna column Channing Tatum traipsing around Europe (or something) looking for a missing golden eagle thing. Oh who cares about the plot. That's not what's important.

Here's a trailer for the Vince Vaughn/Kevin James joint The Dilemma, about a dude (Vaughn) who discovers that the wife (Ryder) of his best friend/business partner (James) is cheating on him with Channing Tatum. To tell the friend or not?

He needs someone with experience to give him what he needs. Also today: it looks like we're really going to see Jim Carrey go gay, a new reunion movie is in the works, and an SNL departure.

Yes, NBC is sallying forth, trying to figure out what to do with The Office once he leaves. They have some ideas! Also today: Casting news about actors playing singers, descendants of singers becoming actors, and two hunks.

It really never will, declares HBO. Also today: lots of casting news, including a Real World cast member who continues to make good. New teen programming sounds teeny. And a romantic weeper finds its cast.

People like Kellan Lutz, Channing Tatum, and Jessica Biel are going places. Also today: a new MTV show sounds frustrating, you'll have to wait a while for Simon Cowell news, and TBS figures some stuff out.

She's divorcing Jesse and will raise the baby alone. Larry King is a swinger. Lindsay blames a tawdry lie on her dad, who blames Perez Hilton. Courtney Love says Gavin cheated on Gwen with her. Wednesday's gossip cometh.

Without lip gloss, will we even recognize her? Tiger Woods consults Buddhist prayers on his Blackberry. Michael Lohan pops the question to Kate Major. Whoopi Goldberg is on Team Jesse James. Wednesday's gossip roundup has seen a ghost.