Look at All the Sexy People, Doing Sexy Things
People like Kellan Lutz, Channing Tatum, and Jessica Biel are going places. Also today: a new MTV show sounds frustrating, you'll have to wait a while for Simon Cowell news, and TBS figures some stuff out.
UH OH. Yesterday we were discussing the unbearable lightness of being Kellan Lutz, but now, kerthunk! He may all of a sudden be heavy and sad. You see he might get forced out of the last Twilight movie, Sneaky Suckaz and the Great Sunrise Freakout Breaking Dawn. Apparently a couple of the vampire actors are trying to score one big sweetass paycheck before the whole franchise goes up in glittersmoke, but the studio doesn't want to budge. And they have a history of throwing people off their movies if they get demanding. Rachelle Lefevre, who played Victoria in the first joint, asked for more doughlars for the sequel but Summit said "Nunh unh" and cast Bryce Dallas Howard in the role instead. So now Lutz (who plays Brucey Cullen, Edward's methy circuit boy vampire cousin [I wish]) and a couple of others might find themselves in the same position. If that happens, Kellan, you can always come over to my house, where we'll turn the lights down low, open a bottle of wine, and I'll laugh and laugh and laugh at you as you stand there weeping with shame as I throw nickels at your feet, shrieking "Dance! Dance! Dance underpants monkey, dance!" It'd be fun. [THR]
Bollocks. MTV has just ordered 10 episodes of their American version of the hit British teen drama, Skins. But of course what makes the British version so good — unrepentant swearing and shagging and drugging — will all have to be taken out for the American edition, which will probably be like My Life as Liz, only with maybe some cute boys. Oh goodness, did you see My Life as Liz? It was like watching a suburban emo muppet come alive, finally a real girl, only to fall tremendously down the stairs. Only it wasn't that entertaining. [Variety]
Those of you chomping at the bit to find out who, whooooo, will replace Simon Cowell on American Idol will have to wait a good long while. They won't be announcing that until well after the May 26th finale. So, I'm sorry to tell you that. Though, those of you chomping at the bit to find out who will replace Simon are also probably chomping at the bit to find out who will replace Kellan, who's going to renew Chuck, and whether Booth and Bones will ever do it. So, you've got bigger problems to worry about, I suppose. Your parents, meanwhile, are desperately awaiting the answer to the mystery of who put lead paint in the house when you were growing up. [EW]
Aw, Jessica Biel still thinks she's people. Like, movie acting people. Here she is again doing another laborious period piece. First came The Illusionist, then the embarrassing Easy Virtue, and now Vivaldi. Yes, as in a biopic of the composer Vivaldi and his forbidden love for a young woman (Kellan Lutz Jessica Biel) that inspires him to write The Four Seasons, a musical based on the hotel chain. The guy who plays Vivaldi is a Brit who played Apollo in Clash of the Titans and is playing Zeus in another upcoming gods movie, so the movie will probably be British accented. But I will pray to every god in Olympus that the director has them do Italian accents instead. Please, proud hearth goddess Hestia, let Jessica Biel speak to us in an Italian accent. It is not much to ask. [THR]
The newly be-Conan'd TBS now has some programming to figure out to provide a good lead-in. The Tyler Perry comedy bloc is perhaps not the most matched-up programming demographic, but TBS isn't going to do away with those moneymakers, no sir. But they are likely adding a weekly show to their lineup called Glory Daze, about four friends all pledging a Wisconsin frat in the '80s. It would feature Teri Polo and Tim Meadows as grownup parts and Drew Seeley, the original singing voice behind Zac Efron in High School Musical (and behind Zac Efron off the set, too — ZANGO). '80s frat comedy could be a good lead in to Conan, though the show was written by the guys who brought you You, Me, and Dupree and Wild Hogs, so... [Deadline]
Animate jockstrap Channing Tatum has been cast in Ron Howard's new comedy, Cheaters. He'll play the "tattooed and pierced" lover of Winona Ryder, who is cheating on Vince Vaughn's best friend. Vaughn has to make a decision to tell said friend, who will be played by Kevin James (I believe). Jennifer Connelly also factors in there at some point, maybe as Vaughn's wife/girlfriend? This represents something of a trip up from the B leagues for Tatum, so we hope his parents are proud. His parents being a bottle of Gold Bond powder and a sweaty towel. [THR]