Last night marked the start of the Cannes Film Festival, Hollywood's paid vacation to the south of France. So, who's currently caught up in the collision of blockbusters and indies? Oh, just about every star on earth. Here are just a few.

America's one-time favorite British person almost joined the cast of America's one-time favorite sitcom. A match made in sad heaven! Also today: news from Cannes, a bloody upfront scares us all, and of course Hunger Games casting news.

A documentary about the death of Princess Diana will debut next week at the Cannes Film Festival—and will feature a graphic paparazzi photo of the princess as she lay dying after a car crash in Paris.

When German GQ scored an interview with Lindsay Lohan, little did they know their magazine would go down in history as the last place Lindsay Lohan pimped herself before receiving a prison sentence. Crushable's Hillary Reinsberg interprets and translates.

She's back, baby, and ready to judge you. Also today: Movie roles in a variety of independent pictures, we find out what happens at the end of Cannes, and the triumphant return of Miss America.

Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives features Vin Diesel, some actress who was in Maxim once and many explosions. Not really! Which is probably one of the reasons it won the Palm d'Or at Cannes today.

[At the Cannes Film Festival, Paris Hilton contributes to America's robust cultural exchange with France. Image via Bauer-Griffin. NSFW image—for those with steel stomachs—inside.]

Here's a lesson in what not to do when you're skipping the court date that will decide whether you go to jail for violating probation: Pose beside a tray of cocaine, at a no-pants party in Cannes. LiLo did it.

Red alert! Starlet under fire! Noting that "actions speak louder than words," L.A. Judge Marshal Revel has issued a bench warrant for Lindsay Lohan, who skipped hearing about violating the terms of her DUI probation, because she's in Cannes.

French philosopher Bernard-Henri Levy is outraged, still, that the United States would like to prosecute convicted child rapist Roman Polanski. And because he is a French intellectual, he is demonstrating his outrage through yet another petition, on his website.

[Woody Allen, when asked about his relationship with death. Allen was speaking at the Cannes premier of his new film, You Will Meet a Tall, Dark Stranger. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[Oliver Stone boasting to New York about the excitement surrounding the premiere of his new movie, Wall Street 2: Something After the Colon, at the Cannes Film Festival tomorrow. Image via Getty]

Before a Cannes Film Festival press screening for Ridley Scott's soon-to-be-released blockbuster adaptation of Robin Hood, the movie's star, Russell Crowe, shared some thoughts on whom he thinks the heroic outlaw would steal from were he a real person living in the year 2010.

[The dignified actors at the opening of the Cannes Film Festival, in the south of Freedom; image via Splash]

We could handle it when Eyjafjallajökull (pronounced: "Jerk") was stranding people in airports and crippling global economies, but now it's gone too far. Due to the latest ash cloud, the big stars may not be able to get to Cannes.

Maybe! He's just joined the cast of a serious movie. Also today: Is Kate Hudson the most original actress in Hollywood? Do you like zombies as much as I do? And is there a right way to say the word "Cannes"?

MTV has a poll up with some rather horrible suggestions for where they should film the ill-fated second season of the most important sociological experiment of our time. Sorry, but these just won't do. We have some better ideas.

The prestigious Cannes advertising awards won't ban agencies for making ads like this.

[Shiny bloodsucker Robert Pattinson in Cannes; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Lars von Trier's ball-banging, blood-coming horror flick Antichrist has been picked up by an American distributor at Cannes. IFC Films will bring the America-hating filmmaker's crazy Willem Dafoe movie to the people he hates. This is the new cinematic diplomacy! Hope and change and bloody penises and all. [IndieWire]