According to a report in the Guardian, Monica Lewinsky came this close to sitting in the same box as Al Gore this weekend at Cannes before organizers wised up and tossed her out—narrowly averting a crisis, maybe, if this had happened in say, 1998. Mon dieu, quelle horreur. Can you even imagine?

France: home of good cheese, strong wine, some other shit, and an advertising festival named Cannes Lions. Early Tuesday, two randy festival-attendees were overcome by their love of creativity, advertising, and their love for each other—some might call it joie de vivre—that they took to fucking on the red carpet in clear view of a late night rooftop bash above them.

The yearly Cannes Film Festival is off to what looks like a laid-back start, as Belgian actor Jérémie Renier shows what it must feel like to have a playful inner spirit in promoting the "smirking deification" biopic of Yves Saint Laurent, Saint Laurent. Image via AP/Joel Ryan.

Nicole Kidman's Grace Kelly biopic, Grace of Monaco, opened the Cannes Film Festival this week and is being savaged by critics. It currently has a 5 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. Sounds like it's so bad that it's a must-see.

An unidentified man pretending to be Psy managed to convince all of Cannes that he was the real deal simply by introducing himself as the "Gangnam Style" singer.

Last week, the Cannes Film Festival was the site of several movie-worthy crimes of its own, as both a a million dollar jewel heist and a shooting caught on camera reportedly took place on the same day. And on Sunday, news broke that another high-profile burglary hit the French Riviera during the prestigious festival.

Reuters reports a man "carrying a dummy grenade and a knife" as well as a pistol was arrested immediately after firing shots at the Cannes Film Festival. No injuries are being reported.

The Cannes Film Festival, where movie stars get to prance joyfully along the French Riviera, will have a little less glimmer this year, after thieves stole more than a million dollars worth of jewelry that was to be worn by celebrities.

Kanye West debuted a 26-minute film titled Cruel Summer at Cannes Wednesday night. He is credited as a writer, producer, and director on the project. Here's what you need to know about it:

Clockwork ballerinas Nicole Kidman and Zac Efron are starring in a new movie called The Paperboy, directed by Precious' Lee Daniels; it just premiered at Cannes, and Vulture's Kyle Buchanan saw it. Tell us, Kyle, what was the best part? Was it... the part where Nicole Kidman pees all over Zac Efron?

Danish dunderhead and director of occasionally great films Lars von Trier says he's being investigated by French authorities for saying (jokingly) that he's a Nazi. (The video is here.)

This musical star isn't just hiding the fact he's gay, but also that he likes to get rough with the "hired help." These celebs were divas at Cannes, this actor likes women to beat him in bed, and this right-wing politician has a closeted spouse. It always comes back to gays and rough sex, doesn't it?

Lars von Trier's trainwreck press conference is the gift that keeps on giving. The Telegraph posted video of von Trier's Nazi meltdown, and it's the second-most awkward press conference footage I have ever seen, right after Gloria Allred's baseball bat masturbation press conference. Seated next to Von Trier, Kirsten Dunst covers her face with her hand and looks mortified. Unless it's leftover mortification from Lars' "really, really, really hardcore" comment?

Danish director Lars von Trier probably thought saying "I'm a Nazi," and other stupid, unfunny things at the Cannes film festival was funny. The festival's board didn't, and today declared him "a persona non grata," and gave him the boot.

If you were rich and famous and had a movie to promote, you would be in the south of France right now basking in the sun and strolling down the red carpet in a couture creation. But you're not. You're reading this on the internet somewhere. Because we're jealous, let's all make fun of the stars who are there, shall we?

International man of idiocy (and occasionally brilliant filmmaking) Lars von Trier is at Cannes promoting his new movie Melancholia, and at a recent press conference the Danish director went off the rails with a weird diatribe about his Nazi sympathies.

This stage mom is always trying to make a buck off her famous daughter, including selling racy photos of her. This Cannes juror is spending too much time partying. And this big name actor is Scientology's most recent victim. Damn, why couldn't he just have had a naked photo scandal?

Despite everything, the French are pretty happy with Mel Gibson right now. Also today: even more network TV news, this time from the CW, plus an update on prestige cabler AMC.

Just like most acceptance speeches and colonoscopies, the Cannes Film Festival goes on a little bit too long. That means that all of Hollywood is still living it up in the south of France, wearing their fancy clothes, and going to movie premieres. Here are some of the highlights.

Last year, the Cannes Film Festival's designated troublemaker was Lindsay Lohan, who eventually ended up in jail for her probation-violating week of debauchery. With LiLo cleaning up her act stateside this year, who will be our party hearty ambassador to Cannes?