Cancer-stricken Michael Douglas simultaneously "feel[s] stronger every day" and "prepares to die!" on the newsstand this week. More evidence that magazine covers contain the most lies? [Image via Reddit]

Elizabeth Edwards, wife of former presidential candidate John Edwards, died today. Her breast cancer had metastasized to the liver and she stopped treatment. She released a farewell statement, to life, just yesterday. R.I.P.

Elizabeth Edwards, estranged wife of Democratic pariah and recent father John Edwards, has been informed that her breast cancer has spread to the liver, and doctors "recommend against additional treatment." She does not appear to be challenging that recommendation.

Under a law signed by President Obama last June, all cigarette packs sold in the U.S. must have anti-smoking messages covering 50% of the front of the package starting next year. Here's what the FDA is proposing.

Canadian cancer scam artist Ashley Kirilow has been charged with seven counts of fraud for raising $20,000 for her fake cancer charity, and nabbing free trips to Disneyland with her elaborate cancer lie.

California Senate candidate Carly Fiorina has been hospitalized for an infection related to her breast cancer surgery.

Radioactive cancer! Marathon runners! Allergic Raisinets! Bad doctors! Deadly medicine! Teens fucking! Depressed moms! Tasty lungs! And whooping cough that never goes away! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—but only if that baby shuts up!

Prescription drug roundup! Binge drinking cancer kids! Cell phone food yakkers! Air pollution breasts! Recipe for divorce! Ironman goes soft! Football brain damage! Home dialysis! Cancer food! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—hazily!

The scam seems to have begun sometime around the time that Schnuphase's husband died. "Shortly thereafter, she fell off the face of the Earth," a neighbor told the Detroit Free Press. Schnuphase reportedly told her son Christopher he had leukemia, and began to update her Facebook account with information about his condition ("Christopher now knows he is dying!" read one such update).

Fitness infomercial lies! Fat blasters! Exercise time! America's depression! Infant sleep killers! Low fat cancer! ADHD genes! And stupid cats are bad! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—from a safe, fetal position!

To remove a tumor "the size of a calzone," doctors split a woman in half and attached her leg to her spine. They're calling it a "pogo stick" surgery, the first of its kind. The patient is in good spirits.

Today has been unofficially declared "Everybody Pray for Hitchens Day" by God-fearing admirers of author and noted atheist Christopher Hitchens, who is dying from esophageal cancer. He appreciates the support, but as for a last-minute conversion? "Thanks but no thanks."

Superbugs! Libido lack! Depressed students! Football brain! Dumb food docs! Marines with cancer! Whooping cough! Headline minds! It's your Friday Health Watch, where we watch your health—as best we can, through the fog of concussion!

A new study indicates that psilocybin—which you may know by the "street name" magic mushrooms—can help cancer patients alleviate anxiety and depression some six months after the initial dose. Illegal drugs: Totally good for you!

Fox reporter Jennifer Griffin made her first report today after recovering breast cancer from Afghanistan on Studio B. Shep took some time afterward to ask her about her recovery. File under uplifting story of the day.

Liam Derbyshire, an 11-year-old British lad, has a rare condition that causes him to stop breathing when he sleeps. His parents plug him into life support every night. He's also in remission from cancer. And you think your life's tough!

Michael Douglas says his doctors discovered a cancerous tumor in his throat. He'll undergo two months of chemotherapy and radiation, but says he's "very optimistic" he'll make a full recovery. Does this mean we have to like Wall Street 2?

New Alzheimers test! DNA for cancer! Grownups with pediatricians! Questions about statins! Patella band analysis! The science of sleep! And belly fat of doom! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—or do we?

The Atlantic's Jeffrey Goldberg visited cancer-stricken writer Christopher Hitchens at his Washington D.C. apartment for a very sunny interview session. When Goldberg first asks how he's doing, Hitchens doesn't hesitate: "How am I? I'm dying."