· After 32 years, William Safire says goodbye to his home on the right side (both literally and figuratively) of the Times op-ed page. Weirdly, he doesn't close with "Safire—Out!" [NYT]

· Jeff Jarvis throws down against Sarah Boxer of The New York Times for her piece on pro-American bloggers. We'd insert our standard "what's a blog" joke, but we're just as sick of it as you are. [Buzz Machine]

· Slate's Bryan Curtis claims that "[Dave] Barry writes some of the jazziest opening lines in the business." We read the five examples he cited and laughed, um, not once. [Slate]

· Slate's 'Book Club' has some hot Malcolm Gladwell-on-James Surwiecki action. [Slate]

· Jann Wenner wants his employees' expense accounts as spotless as their desks. [NYM]

· How much would you pay to read The New York Times on the Web? [Reuters]

· LA Weekly's man in New York, Brendan Bernhard talks to Nick Hornby about his new book The Polysyllabic Spree. [LA Weekly]

· George Gurley continues his love affair with Ann Coulter. Someone please make a romantic comedy about these two: Call it Annie Gall. [NYO]

Drudge's headline just about sums it up for us. Sri Lankan officials report that no dead animal corpses were found in the wake of the tsunami disaster leaving them to believe animals have a "sixth sense" and knew to seek higher ground. This is in sharp contrast to all the media outlets who lack a sense of moral decency and usually take the lower road. After the jump we provide a rundown of the more sensational aspects ("where are all the celebrities??") of the tsunami tragedy coverage sent in by you, the readers, under the guise of media criticism.

· Jack Newfield passes; His old employer remembers him as "a dean of New York City newspaper columnists." (In 2000, he said, "To my amazement the [New York] Post gives me more freedom than the Village Voice did at the end.") [Newsday, VV, Eve's Mag]
· 'Slate,' like, totally sells out. Now it's gonna be all corporate and shit. [Slate; sis has the memo]
· James Wolcott really, really hates Tucker Carlson's guts. [James Wolcott]
· Why can't Cargo get any love? The Washington Post's Peter Carlson calls it, "The dumbest new magazine of 2004... a guide to shopping for men. Cargo is stupefyingly stupid but it did one thing right: It hired an associate art director with the coolest name on any magazine masthead: Tahiti Starship." We're betting Tahiti has mixed feelings right about now. [Washington Post]

· Blogger 'Old Hag' goes completely buck wild on this week's book announcements. [Old Hag]
· The Observer has some fun at Cargo's expense [NYO, PDF]
· Howard Stern is an 11 year-old girl. Sort of. [USA Today]
· 'Person of the Year' Again? [TIME]

·"Funny how if you write about media in New York, you're guaranteed a job practically for the rest of your life. If you write about media in the Twin Cities, you'd better keep Monster.com bookmarked." (We should only be so lucky.) [The Rake]
·Dan Savage rips fellow sex columnist Jamie Bufalino a new one. [VV]
·Slate is hip to the real etymology of 'hip' [Slate]
·Post media columnist Keith Kelly talks to media website Media Life about big media luncheon. (Plus: media and gossip blog links it.) [Media Life Magazine]

·Metropolis Daily Planet editor 'Perry White' writes humorous staff memo to Jim Romenesko. When did his site become the new "Shouts and Murmurs" page? [Romenesko Letters]
·Smart aleck Simpsons writers mock corporate cousins FOX News. [Lloyd Grove]
·New Yorker writer Jeffrey Goldberg taken to task for "said to be" abuse in 2002 article. [Under the Same Sun]
·David Carr meets all 5-foot-10-inches of Suede editor Suzanne Boyd [NYT]

· Blogger Eugene Volokh writes about the Valerie Plame affair in today's Times' Op-Ed. [NYT]
· Former NY Press Mugger-in-Chief Russ Smith loves Jonathan Franzen, David Remnick, Snoopy, and dime bags (the latter, circa 1970). [NY Press]
· William Georgiades continues to burn down bridges over at Mediabistro. This week: Dave Eggers. [Mediabistro]
· Robert Thompson, founder of Syracuse University's Center for the Study of Television and Popular Culture, gives good quote, early and often. [Jossip]

· Like the late O.D.B., MSNBC's Keith Olbermann sets a good example for the kids by boasting that he does not vote. [OJR]
· Greg Lindsay speculates on the future of paid content in the year 2048. Silly, boy: We'll all be dead by then. [Mediabistro]
· The Times Judith Miller on her possible visit to Camp Cupcake: "I'm still in a state of denial about the possibility of jail.. I know it's there, but I am trying not to think about it because if you think about it, you get less done." [Editor and Publisher]
· Photographic proof that when Vogue Editor Anna Wintour smiles, the whole world smiles with her. Or it gets fired. (Scroll down to Oscar de la Renta pix.) [New York Social Diary]

· American Media bigwig David Pecker is going through employees' computers to find out who keeps sending anti-Bonnie Fuller missives to the gossip columns. C'mon, David, we LOVE getting the emails. Lighten up. [Page Six]
· We don't think mandatory therapy should be limited to just war reporters. [CSM]
· People's unfortunately-monickered gossip columnist Zorianna Kit has left the mag because she never "gelled." [Page Six]
· Conde Nasties get an Audi discount; toiling slaves cry at the uselessness of it all.
· Retiring NBC anchor Tom Brokaw doesn't want his retirement to be a big event; maybe he should've thought of that before he hosted his own 2-hour farewell special on Friday night. [Time]

· New CNN/U.S. prez Jonathan Klein is looking for the network's anchors to bring more personality to their broadcasts. We can't wait to see what this means for Anderson Cooper. [LAT]
· Jann Wenner will split top duties at Rolling Stone between three deputy editors: James Kaminsky, Will Dana, and Joe Levy. The three blind mice will answer only to Jann and there will be no replacement for the recently-vacated EIC position. [NYP]
· American Media is filing suit to prevent Dishalicious, a roman clef written by former Star researcher Stephanie Green (wait, Star has researchers? Impressive!) that portrays a certain, completely fictitious Canadian-born tabloid editor in an unfavorable manner. [WWD]

· Retiring Times writer William Safire wants to be remembered as a reporter (despite the fact that he's a columnist), so Salon takes him down, one inaccuracy at a time. [Salon]
· Playboy VP James Kaminsky moves to Rolling Stone as deputy editor; expect lots more porny Lohan covers. [Mediaweek]
· NBC anchor Brian Williams: not a publicity whore. Just, um, speaking at every engagement that comes his way. [Lowdown (last item)]
· Breaking! Bloggers may have had a political impact! But don't "flog" them, says Richard Morin. [WaPo]
· In Style's December issue clocks in at 624 pages, making it almost Vogue-worthy. [NYP]

· Paraphrasing NBC News' Brian Williams at Esquire's Brightest and Best party: "Thank you to Esquire and be sure to try the crystal meth."
· White men still most likely to succeed at the Washington Post. At least everyone's being honest about it. [WaPo]
· The incredibly shrinking Newsday, still trying to thin itself down as much as possible, begins offering voluntary buyouts to staffers. [NYP]
· God, November got boring quick. Let's spice it up with something completely out of left field. How about Brokaw for President? [Indy Star]
· Finally, we agree with mainstream journos: kick everyone while they're down. [National Journal]