After a former bodyguard filed a report that Britney Spears beat her two sons, the L.A. Department of Child and Family Services paid a visit her home. Social workers found nothing wrong, except Britney's collection of Daisy Dukes.

"Miserable" Britney seeks solace with a sleazy ex-boyfriend. Kim Kardashian has a new beau. Robert Pattinson "just took a shit on the Queen's face." (Sort of.) Lindsay Lohan's ex-assistant remains loyal. Thursday gossip will stab you in the back.

Katherine Heigl wore one seriously bad haircut last night. But her new brunette bouffant isn't just a bad styling choice. This is "motive hair." Something else is going on that informed this decision. We've all been there, and it's scary.

This is what the reputable Sun newspaper is reporting. Twenty-nine-year-old Fernando Flores claims that the worrisome ex-pop singer traipsed around nude in front of him and made unwanted advances. In Britney's defense, she thought he was a piece of cheesecake.

If you're a female celebrity and you haven't gone girl-on-girl before a crowd of roaring, adoring males, you're probably gay. Last night, Sandra kissed Scarlett as revenge on Jesse. How did lesbian kisses become the ultimate mainstream display of hetero-desirability?

Britney's conservatorship gets extended after two years of dependence. Miley Cyrus "simulates a lesbian kiss." Gary Coleman's ex-wife misses the swag. Gwen Stefani threw a $15,000 party for a four-year-old. Thank the Hills of Hollywood: Friday gossip has arrived.

The sad ballad of LiLo's SCRAM ankle bracelet plays on. (With Minnie Mouse ears!) Britney bitches out her boyfriend in public. Miley rubs her crotch in public. Kelly Bensimon shows her thong in public. Tuesday gossip has bad boundaries.

Sandra was in Beverly Hills all week, but nobody got her picture. She should teach seminars to Lindsay Lohan, who got caught partying last night. Alicia Keys is pregnant and engaged. Gary Coleman is in the hospital. TGIFriday gossip.

Pop singer Britney Spears has surpassed actor Ashton Kutcher to become the most-followed user on Twitter. Both will likely surpass five million followers. For a fun challenge, call your grandparents and try to explain this news item to them. [Mashable]

Lindsay Lohan claims she was framed with drugs! Was Megan Fox fired for being too skinny? Matt Lauer did not sleep with this women. Saturday's Gossip Round Up is pretty from far but far from pretty.

Within hours of confirmation of their relationships, the seeds of discontent were sown—or fertilized, in Kristen's womb. Sean Penn gets probation. Kendra sex tape screenshots. Heidi Montag held captive in her own home. Here's your Thursday gossip.

For two decades, Charlie Sheen's personal life has been a battlefield of bitter ex-wives, broken engagements, porn stars, hookers, drug-fueled orgies, and domestic discord. No wonder his prenup—which we revealed yesterday—is so obsessed with minimizing risk.

The purported Britney Spears demo of "Telephone"—originally written for Spears by Lady Gaga before Gaga hit it big—has leaked. That sound you just heard was "BritBrit" overtaking "Bieber" on Twitter. We have the track, and some theories.

This is one of those videos that makes you laugh uncontrollably, yet you're not quite sure why. Here, Beyoncé sits with Britney Spears, Lady Gaga and Rihanna as they go through their Number Ones—until an uninvited guest interrupts.

Charlie Sheen was just like, "Screw it, I'm moving in with my hooker." Lindsay Lohan is no longer marketable. Britney Spears' nipples cause consternation. Jon Gosselin would like to sell you a car. Saturday's Gossip roundup is learning the ropes.

The cameo is one of television's oldest tricks to drum-up interest for a show. But not all cameos are created equal. Inside, a list of the kinds of cameos, why they exist, and just how effective they are.

In addition to Palin's mystery show, Mark Burnett is shopping Martha Stewart whirls into your life, whips up a quiche, and fixes everything. For the first guests, may I suggest...

Kathy Griffin just played an over-the-top lesbian activist on Law & Order. It was so overblown, that it made us think that the portrayal of lesbians has been regressing recently. Inside, the historical arc of on-air girl-on-girl smooching.

He thought he could call her "heavy" if he said "top," first. Ke$ha makes fun of Britney. Kendra Wilkinson's baby weight gave her postpartum depression. "Jessica Simpson weighs in on fat jokes." Thursday's gossip roundup was teased as a child.

Wife-beating actor Charlie Sheen has checked into rehab as a "preventative measure." Witness the ingenious invention of a new celebrity phenomenon: Prehab. A guide to the four advantages it provides over actual rehab.