One of Apple's greatest strengths has always been the clean design and memorable branding of its products. Which makes this logo for its new MobileMe internet service all the more surprising. Why? Because it looks like a Windows knockoff, and it sucks, frankly. Rod Townsend, who wonders if this is "the worst logo in the history of Mac," has a few thoughts: It "Looks like a poor cousin of the Intel logo." It "Needs to cut down on the carbs." It "Looks like something Cindy McCain would hang in a child's nursery." Hey, we can play too! Apple's new MobileMe logo:

Two of the revolutionary hero (to some) Che Guevara's kids said this week that they've had enough of their dad being used as a branding icon for advertisers of all stripes. "The appropriation of the figure of Che that has been used to make enemies from different classes" is "embarrassing," said one of his daughters. That's true. But Che's image today is largely made up of consumer products, that people buy in solidarity with a complicated man whose popular representation is—to say the least—highly simplified. Below, ten of the most important Che items that any dedicated revolutionary should own. Get em before they're outlawed.

Rob Walker, who writes the "Consumed" column in the New York Times Magazine every weekend (a sweet "job"), has a new book out in which he draws the sad—but unavoidable—conclusion that we are all a bunch of sheep blindly obeying a world of marketing messages. You think you're able to use your education, morality, and philosophical beliefs to rise above advertising? Ha! That's what all the sheep think. Walker's not a gung-ho Corporate America kind of guy, which makes his thesis that much more depressing. But it's hard to argue with him. Go drown your sorrows in PBR like the hipster that you are. Your chosen brands make up your very soul:

Sharon Stone has finally apologized for her "inappropriate" comment that the recent massive Chinese earthquake was a product of "bad karma" for the country for its treatment on Tibet. She's sorry, okay! Nevertheless, fashion house Christian Dior announced that it's pulling all of its ads featuring the actress from all department stores, and the entire country of China. Though the comment itself was stupid, Stone's hasty retreat from her brash Tibet-championing—and Dior's even harsher public rebuke of her—are a great illustration of what is becoming the New China Rule: "Do Not Talk About The New China Rule." It's been de rigeur for top stars to prove their class by endorsing luxury brands, and to prove their morality by pontificating about Tibet. But guess what: pretty soon you're going to have to pick one or the other, Hollywood. And it's not looking good for the Dalai Lama.

Tired of seeing all those "cool" brand collaborations like "BAPE X FRESHJIVE X PUMA RAZOR T SHIRT WITH THREE LOGOS, $55," etc.? Well now collaborations are coming to the common folk! Cool hipster hip cutting edge Japanese retailer Beams is teaming up with your favorite store, 7-11, for a collabo-branded pack of stationery. We quote: "The latest collaboration by Japanese select shop Beams is with 7-Eleven, producing a stationery collection that includes pens, sketchbooks and sticky notes." Because co-branded stationery is not just a Tokyo thing any more. [Monocle via Hypebeast]

I don't claim to be an expert on hair, or sexiness, but I'd be willing to wager that far fewer people have heard of "Sexy Hair Concepts LLC" than have heard of Victoria's Secret. Nevertheless, Sexy Hair Concepts somehow managed to persuade a Trademark Board that "consumers were likely to confuse the lingerie giant's 'So Sexy' trademark for haircare items with Sexy Hair Concepts' various trademarks using the word 'sexy' for its coiffure line." Consumers will be wandering around in a sheer sexiness daze! Victoria's Secret's response to the ruling: you trademark people must be crazy:

Ethiopia doesn't have the world's most sterling reputation. Many people think of "famine" and "drought" when the country's name is mentioned. But the Ethiopians are lucky, in the sense that Starbucks has forged a connection between the parched and war-torn nation in northern Africa and yuppie coffee swillers across America who just adore the subtle fruity undertones of the Ethiopian Yirgacheffe blend. So the country went to a branding firm to come up with a logo to stick on all of its coffee, to make people think of it as more of a luxury item. The logo is pictured. It looks like it should be in lime green on the side of can of a new and exotic type of energy drink. Instead, it's on the oldest energy drink ever. The kind that comes from Ethiopia (and is not qat)! We wish the country well in its yuppie-swindling mission, but we would have gone with a logo that's a little more cutting edge, with both hipster appeal and a strong connection to Ethiopian history. Like this:

BrandTags.net is a website with a deceptively simple idea: it shows you a brand's logo, and you enter the first word that comes to mind. Then it combines all the thousands of responses into a tag cloud, showing the overall consumer perception of each brand. Smart! So what great truths do these responses show, besides the fact that many people associate Adidas with "shoes?" They show that your brand is crap, stupid, and sucks! Corporate image gurus, take note:

Conscious intellectual hip hop star Common has announced the winner of his big "Lincoln Spotlight" lyricist competition with Lincoln—the car manufacturer that represents hip hop culture. The winner wrote a song based on "Lincoln's brand truths: advancing the American dream, exploring what it means to reach higher, daring to do more and taking pride in one's history." That is so exactly Lincoln. And hey, just last week Common landed a role in the next Terminator movie! My irrational haterade judgment of him as a tool continues to be confirmed and re-confirmed. For those of you curious about what it takes to succeed in hip hop in 2008, the lyrics of the winning Lincoln Spotlight entry are after the jump. Feel the brand truths:

The aftermath of last week's Dove "Campaign for Real Beauty" photo retouching scandal remains unclear. It all started with retoucher Pascal Dangin telling the New Yorker that he had cleaned up photos for the campaign featuring ostensibly "Real" women, which would be a hugely hypocritical move. Dove, their ad agency, and celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz all denied it, saying they did nothing to the pictures except "to remove dust and do color correction." Today, Ad Age tries to decide whether or not the fiasco will hurt Dove—and the company is still stonewalling, while the New Yorker is standing by (most of) its story.

When massive corporations decide to come up with a new slogan, they almost always end up with something short, trite, and massively expensive. Citigroup just unveiled its earth-shaking new slogan "Citi Never Sleeps," which is a reworking of its classic "The Citi Never Sleeps" tagline. But didn't they just spend $30 million last year launching a different slogan? Well yes, but that one didn't work out, because it sounded like it came straight from the mouth of bottom-rung redneck comedian Larry the Cable Guy. Derisive laughter is appropriate here:

"The Resistance," which describes itself as a "Christian Group" but, judging by its website, is more of a "Wacko Conspiracy Theory Group," has just launched a boycott of Starbucks. They object to the coffee chain's new retro-style logo, which features a mermaid who wantonly possesses boobies. They "might as well call themselves Slutbucks"! In the past, The Resistance has lobbied celebrities like Paris Hilton and Tom Cruise to change their "ridiculous" behavior. So their calls for action have clearly been huge failures thus far. The full, weird press release is below.

If buying Facebook doesn't work out, Microsoft plans to compete on the Web by growing "organically." Bill Gates said that means search advancements, more marketing and lots of meetings. Lots of meetings. But here's what those meetings ought to be about: unifying Microsoft's online branding. Check out the screenshots of Microsoft's Web designs below. Nabbed by LiveSide, ReadWriteWeb's Josh Catone points out they contain "four different search boxes, two different Live.com "orb" logos (in four different sizes), and six different header backgrounds."

So it seems the Barack Obama campaign has replaced those three annoying young men in Abercrombie & Fitch shirts with a creepy collection of older white ladies in pastels, as though he were a polygamist cult leader or something. Dashing CNN anchor Anderson Cooper does not seem thrilled about this change, for some reason. His colleagues instinctively felt his displeasure at trading pumped-up college dudes in tight, trendy t-shirts for middle-aged housewives, so they started giggling. Coop-style journalism is contagious! Clip after the jump.

Hunter College, the luxury brand Coach, fraudulent PR campaigns, and dishonest corporate collaboration with academia are the topics of the day today. Important topics! Adweek has just come out with a long investigative piece on a Coach-sponsored PR class at Hunter, which reeks of impropriety and dishonesty, and ended up tangling a bunch of college kids up in a fake online PR blog that makes them all look like a bunch of shady, dishonest undercover marketing hacks. "I knew a lot of hell would break loose about the class. And it did," said the teacher. Indeed. The condensed version of the whole sordid tale, after the jump.

When you're in a bar, and you need to get up from your seat for a moment, have you ever felt a desire for a paper square—preferably printed with a cheeky message—that you could place on your chair as a "seat saver" until you return? Us neither. But someone in Philadelphia apparently thought that such a thing would be useful innovation. As well as a perfect medium for advertising messages! So they made the thingamajigs, which are double-sided with two contrasting messages that you can change based on (guessing here) how drunk you are. What branding initiative wouldn't be enhanced by its inclusion on a product meant to primarily sit underneath people's asses? Two more pictures of these unreasonable things [via Adrants] below.

Actor-turned-entrepreneur Robert "I call him Bobby" Deniro is planning to open a "Nobu Hotel" in the Financial District. It will be the second one—he already has a Nobu Hotel in Israel (who knew?). The plan is to, you know, make it a nice hotel, and also have a Nobu restaurant in it. Branding a hotel with a restaurant's name, and not vice versa, is an interesting concept. If it becomes popular and widespread, it could help prominent chefs and restaurateurs to have greater leverage in their partnership deals, rather than being treated as ornaments for the hotel centerpiece. The brand drives the business, so it's a bit of a gamble on Nobu's international appeal. One partner says of the hotel, "Instead of a mint on the pillow, you could find a sushi roll." Well, that actually sounds disgusting. [NYP/ pic via Curbed]

Not content to simply line the subway station entrances, station walls, station signs, and interior of buses and trains with advertisements, New York City transit is reportedly set to enter the final frontier: ads on the outsides of subway trains. They're already testing out the idea with Continental Airlines ads on the 42nd St. shuttle [NYP]. Subway officials think this idea will go great with their existing "brand cars," where one advertiser takes over the interior of a whole car. As terrifying as this practice sounds, we know they need the money. So we'd like to strike a compromise: they're allowed to sell every last inch of the trains to advertisers, but in return they have to bring back this practice:

Are you the type of consumer who's always been interested in trying that "Starbucks" that you've heard so much about, but are intimidated by its mysterious ways? In other words, are you a half-bright mole person? Well the company has a new website just for you! "What the online experience does is mimic the experience [consumers] would have in the store, if they went to the barista and said, 'I want to try Starbucks, but I don't know where to start,'" says one exec [Ad Age]. With StarbucksCoffeeAtHome.com, all the frightening guesswork is taken out of the coffee-going experience. What's your "flavor profile?"

The high-end liquor market is crowded these days, so Belvedere came up with an idea so crazy that it just might work: an advertisement that implies that drinking their brand of vodka could get you a blowjob from an attractive woman. And they even got sexpert and James Frey collaborator Terry Richardson to do the photo! Might this radical notion of using an image to subconsciously connect their brand with the idea of sexual conquest in the minds of consumers actually serve to boost their sales and, consequently, their revenues? Stranger things have happened. [Copyranter at Animal NY]