A 23-year-old in India is believed to have been killed by an exploding phone after being found "near his farm along with remains of mobile phone and battery." Sounds like he was using... a bomb pilot. [Puts on sunglasses] YEEAAAOWWW!

At least 30 people were killed while watching the World Cup final in Uganda this afternoon when two bombs went off at a restaurant and a rugby club, respectively. The al-Qaeda-affiliated Somalian militia al-Shabab may be behind the attacks. [AP]

Just after the Fourth of July in 1962, the US government detonated a hydrogen bomb above the earth's atmosphere, calling it "Starfish Prime." The Honolulu Advertiser's front page read: "N-Blast Tonight May Be Dazzling: Good View Likely." Nukes are fun!

A big "win" today for our more bomb-minded armchair engineers: ol' Bill Clinton says it "may become necessary" for the military to bomb the leaking BP well — but not with nukes, sadly. Come on, Clinton! Dream big.

According to reports, the owner of the establishment closed up shop a few weeks ago and that's when he started feuding with the man who owns the building. Still no word on which party might have set the gas cans to explode. One thing's for certain, though: This isn't doing anything to improve New Jersey's Sopranos-style reputation.

A man with an electrical circuit in his shoes has been arrested at Karachi Airport.

Since the failed Times Square carbomb, and the arrest of Pakistani suspect Faisal Shahzad, a Pakistani man was ludicrously prevented from buying garden fertilizer. Others, according to Reuters, are now posing as Indians to try and avoid increased stigma.

Heaving, bulbous bosoms—of doom. That is what America and, indeed, the world is facing, in the alternate universe where terrorists with plastic explosive breast implants threaten airline safety. Also, butt bomb implants. Please let this be real.

What a beautiful sight. Serene sunset, tall grasses, a view for miles and...HEY! What's that stupid tree doing in the way?!

Washington Post columnist Anne Applebaum is A) married to a high-ranking Polish politician, and B) critical of Russia's shady government, which makes it—in the most general way—kind of alarming that her car blew up yesterday. [Update: She's okay!]

Here is the new thing for you to worry about, in terms of your own unavoidable violent death: Al Qaeda is now smuggling bombs inside their rectums. There is no hope of detection until it blows.

In your proper Monday media column: One newspaper attacked by Harry Reid, another newspaper attacked by Blondie, women's magazines that sit at the checkout line unread, and a reporter hurt in Afghanistan.

Authorities say they have caught the mad bomber whose small homemade pill-jar bomb harmlessly rocked an Upper East Side Starbucks—and the world—in May. New York has been spared untold Fight Club-inspired terror!

The rhetoric is over. The violence has begun! A bomber is on the loose! New York City has been struck by its fourth explosion in as many years, a slow reign of anarchist terror as the yuppies slumber. The message: "Bourgeoisie, repent or die." Or maybe: "We are bored teenagers."

Oh no, the first terror attack of the Barack Obama presidency! And it's domestic!

We hate to say we told you so, but Australia—Baz Luhrmann's sweepy weepy about his homeland in the 1940's—is not doing so well at the ol' box office. Nikki Finke reports that it's basically tanking, ceding top honors to such unambitious, unartsy fare as the darkening Twilight and this weekend's most likely top dog (and we mean dog), Four Christmases.

A Defamer operative browsing Metacritic happened to notice that 88 Minutes—in which Al Pacino plays Dr. Jack Gramm, an FBI forensic psychiatrist who has (all together now!) 88 real-time minutes to solve his own murder!—has received a Metacritic score of 2. To give you some indication of just how bad that is, 10,000 B.C. got a 34, making Roland Emmerich's exhaustively researched recreation of the Great Mammoth Fur Trade a roughly 1700% better film. But how does it rank against releases of similar or lesser quality?

If you were to conduct a poll of the 276 million people living in these here United States asking what they'd REALLY like to know about their favorite celebrities, we're pretty sure you'd be hard pressed to find even one person who's wondering whether or not country music star Clint Black is any good at stand-up comedy. Still, that didn't stop CBS from devoting close to 6 minutes of airtime last night to answering that very question as part of their brand new show, Secret Talents Of The Stars. Sandwiched between segments of other equally perplexing talents of Z-listers (Can George Takei sing country music? Can Mya dance? Does a bear shit in the woods?), Clint Black spent some time prepping his stand-up routine with old friend Garry Shandling at the preeminent comedy hotspot for people born in the 1950s, The Comedy Store. Unfortunately for all of us, when a clearly concerned Shandling asked the yukless Black if "he had any OTHER secret talents" besides comedy, Black's answer was no. Shandling's advice and Black's so-bad-it's-bad performance follow after the jump.

The first review of Will Ferrell's new movie just came in and, wow, it's a doozy. No, we're not talking about Semi-Pro, which opens today; we're talking about Ferrell's next movie, Step Brothers, which was produced by Judd Apatow and directed by Adam McKay. The film, set to open in late July, screened in Los Angeles last night. A Defamer tipster was in the audience and passed an early review our way. Based on some of the pullquotes (if, indeed, you can call words lifted from an email tip "pullquotes"), this sounds like it's going to be closer to Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story than Talledega Nights in terms of both laughs and B.O. We hate to say it, but it's looking more and more like John C. Reilly is Box Office Poison when cast in anything other than a supporting role. Full review after the jump, but here's a few of the choice quotes: "The story makes no sense - repetitive, forced and predictable would be compliments" and "the dialogue is less entertaining and envelope-pushing than anything on Two and a Half Men." Ouch!

From the mailbag: "Bomb disposal unit"! Broadway and 51st Street! People in that vicinity are "complaining they can't get lunch"!