For the first time in the modern primary era, the New York presidential primary election, happening today, is actually important in the races for both the Republican and Democratic nominations. For the conscientious citizen, this is lousy news. You can no longer engage in the beloved New York tradition of just writing in Howard Stern, confident that your vote wouldn’t have mattered anyway.

Larry David continued his ever-pleasant impression of Sen. Bernie Sanders on Saturday Night Live this week, contending with Kate McKinnon’s Hillary Clinton at the presidential debate in Brooklyn, New York.

At one point during last night’s Democratic debate, Hillary Clinton tried to use Bernie Sanders’s anti-Wall Street message against him. “I’m the only one on this stage who did not vote to deregulate swaps and derivatives, as Senator Sanders did,” she said. “That contributed to the collapse of Lehman Brothers, and started the cascade.”

What a debate tonight! Whew. Issues.

In an act of political cowardice, the campaign of Bernie Sanders has suspended a young staffer named Simone Zimmerman, who was recently hired to coordinate the campaign’s outreach to Jewish communities, for criticizing Benjamin Netanyahu, the right-wing Prime Minister of Israel, in a year-old post on Facebook. The New York Times has the details:

Tonight, Senator Bernie Sanders and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton participate in the final debate before of the most important primary of all time, on Tuesday. The debate will be broadcast from the crown jewel of New York City: the Brooklyn Navy Yard. Gawker and Jezebel are here, and we’re blogging.

Here is a rule of thumb for Bernie Sanders supporters across this great nation: When talking about the Democratic primary, which pits Sanders against Hillary Clinton, do not use the word “whore.”

“Fuck Verizon!”

As The New York Times has it, Bernie Sanders spent his Sunday chowing on sauerkraut-smothered Nathan’s hot dogs and mingling with constituents at a rally on Coney Island, accompanied by both his loving wife and Rock Guy Michael Stipe.

During a campaign event in Harlem on Saturday night, Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders addressed race and politics, and, of course, the issue of Zionist Jews.

Sen. Bernie Sanders of Vermont was projected to win the Democratic caucus in Wyoming on Saturday, with just over half of the counties reporting. The AP called it for Sanders with 56 percent of the vote, and his rival Hillary Clinton at 43 percent.

The man of the people, the champion of the underserved, the enemy of all things “establishment” was seen strolling across the plush carpet of the Richard Rodgers Theater off Times Square, attending a performance of the wildly popular play “Hamilton” with his wife Jane on Friday night.

As your mom has no doubt already texted you, Bernie Sanders appeared on “The View” this morning. Sanders told Raven-Symone that Martin Sheen’s work on “The West Wing” was his favorite fictional portrayal of a President, a position on this issue that solidly aligns him with the nation’s College Democrats presidents and Model UN delegates. He likes it because he “thought that was actually fairly reflective of what does go on in the White House.”

At the invitation of none other than Cool Pope Francis himself, Bernie Sanders will be taking a trip to the to speak at the Vatican just four days before the New York primary.

Jonathan Chait is a columnist for New York Magazine, a respectable publication with many great writers. Chait, a white man, is also one of our nation’s foremost experts on what black people are thinking.

“This week my brother, Bernie Sanders, won the Wisconsin Democratic primary – which is great news.” Cool brag, Larry.

Hollywood actor Tim Robbins—a Trojan horse sent by the Clintons to spoil Bernie Sanders’ chances in Guam, a well-meaning, beautiful idiot, or something else entirely? Let’s review.

In March, thousands of voters in Arizona reported waiting in hours-long lines to cast their vote in the state’s Democratic primary. Over 100,000 people have signed a petition demanding a revote in the state and now, the Civil Rights Division of the U.S. Department of Justice has officially opened an investigation to uncover what exactly happened during last month’s primary.