Since Jon Gosselin won't let his innocent babies be on TV, TLC has charged Kate to raise other people's broods on a new series. What a cruel, cruel Twist of Kate.

Look: Someone invented a radio ad that can dial your phone for you, by transmitting "DTMF" tones to your FM receiver. Since the hardest part of making a call is, you know, pushing the buttons. Video after the jump.

Microsoft is testing a Twitter clone called OfficeTalk, which apparently combines Twitter's corrosiveness to productivity with all of the stifled boredom your corporate intranet. Look, they copied the hashtags, follower counts and everything.

The TLC tried to lure commuters into its cab sharing scheme with free breakfast today. It failed, as did giving away balloons yesterday. Maybe it's time to admit that, like "fetch" and soccer in America, this isn't going to take?

The most surprising revelation in Ad Age's story on Bud Light's failed "Drinkability" ad campaign is that "Drinkability" was apparently supposed to be an actual thing—the "ideal rational benefit," the consultants said. Haha. Really? Shut up. Really? "Drinkability?"

Martin Scorsese and Robert De Niro are teaming up with Lars von Trier to "reboot" Taxi Driver. In 3D! (Your totally credible source for this information: "Copenhagen film magazine Ekko.")

It's pretty fair to say at this point that the death of Georgian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili has dampened the "Olympic mood" around the world, especially because track officials are blaming him. Some info-hoarding search monoliths didn't exactly get the message.

Former US Weekly editor Janice Min got a book deal to write From Mousewife to Momshell: The Rules and Celebrity Secrets for Being a Thinner, Younger, and Sexier Mom. What a great idea! We'd like to propose some entries.

The disgraced former NBC chief who left the network to become the Something-something of Somewhere Online has enlisted Arrested Development's Jason Bateman and Will Arnett to create a new digital production company, called DumbDumb. An apt title.

It's not easy selling a paywall. Just ask oft-failed entrepreneur Steven Brill, whose terrible copycat idea to save journalism with micropayments met stiff skepticism. His solution: Claim an ever-growing number of unnamed "clients," charted against uncooperative reality after the jump.

CNN decided it was going to enlist Kathy Griffin, Lance Bass, and Anderson Cooper to give them a New Year's Eve as big and sparkly as the crystal monstrosity in Times Square. They got what they wanted, which they hated.

How many Polish guys did it take to steal the Auschwitz sign? Five, according to police—who, we should stress, were also Polish, so let's not stereotype anyone, on this, of all stories. [CNN. Pic: AP]

Ho ho ho! How can we ruin your Christmas today? I know: a public service campaign that instructs men to purchase pap smears for their special women as holiday gifts.

It's really too bad Dubai is imploding. Where else in the world does this $3.2 million iPhone—made with "271 grams of 22-karat gold and 136 flawless diamonds"—stand a chance of finding a buyer? Guess there's always Moscow! [NYDN]

Bad enough the lady is drinking and driving with only one hand because she's holding a (hallucinated?) dragon in the other hand. Also, her eyes are closed. [Copyranter. Click to enlarge.]

Esquire decided to SAVE MAGAZINES this month by putting another weird little "hold it up to your webcam" hologram augmented-reality gizmo on the cover, but alas: the magical doohickey is obscured by the address label. Curse you, ignoble media irony.

You know what would be a good way to stop domestic violence? Set up a free website called "Hit The Bitch" where you can use your computer's mouse to simulate beating that mouthy bitch till you're "100% Gangsta." But then!

Because every living celebrity has already launched a perfume line of his or her own in recent years, a company is now offering scents using the DNA of dead ones. [The Phoenix via Style.com]

Disney's beloved panda-rodent mascot is getting a video game makeover, and it'll give you more nightmares than the time he emptied all those buckets for that jerkface sorcerer. Because this time the nightmares might be, um, sexy?

Historically, big tech companies start building new gigantic corporate campus instead right before they implode. Oh, look: Yahoo's drawing up plans for a 42-acre project and hadn't laying off thousands of workers.