Meet the British woman who just had a baby after spending 20 days in labor.

I'm actually not even sure how this baby manages to move the ways it does, and it almost looks half manatee or sea creature. Regardless... this is the weirdest set of movements (paired with odd noises) I have ever seen.

If you're having a bad day, this video should cheer you up—or at least put things into perspective. Here's Jonathan, an eight-month-old deaf baby who received a cochlear implant. Watch as Jonathan reacts to hearing his first sound.

Meet Ardi Rizal, a two-year-old Sumatran baby who smokes some forty cigarettes a day. The government has offered to buy his parents a car if he stops, but they claim he gets too angry without smokes. Plus, he looks fine!

Yes, women like to talk a lot, especially on the phone. But Real Housewives of New Jersey's Teresa took being a "chatty cathie" to new levels when she spent her time in labor on her cell phone.

Deadly sunscreen! Hooters fat! Soda hypertension! Vaccine kids! Dirty blood! Swimming babies! Swallowing batteries! It's your super-scientific Health Watch, where we watch your health—while developing firm opinions on issues too technical for us to grasp!

Advertising's troubling death of euphemism has already forced Americans to confront the realities of toilet paper, fiber-packed poop enhancement products, and tampons, which go in vaginas (FYI). Now, diapers are being explained to us, as if we don't understand.

Project Prevention is a US group that aims, according to their website, "to reduce the number of substance exposed births to zero." Three of its members stopped a woman in Scotland and offered her cash if she'd get sterilized.

Having recently been thrown into motherhood, Bethenny Frankel skyped in to the 4th hour to share stories with KLG and Hoda. Her tales were enough to frighten anyone into abstinence, but the scariest part happened when her Skype screen froze.

A Massachusetts man allegedly offered someone his 3-month-old daughter for two 40-ounce beers. He was not arrested.

Remind us not to get in a fight with E-Trade: The company is responding to a defamation suit from Lindsay Lohan with a hundred-page document "detailing Lohan's drug abuse, brawls and DWI busts," just to prove she lives in California.

Iron Man 2 did so well this weekend that we can pretty much be sure the third one will do the same. Also this weekend, Elm Street had a nightmare, Date Night is going very well, and everyone loves babies.

For months now, mighty P&G has been battling hordes of upset parents who say that the new Pampers Dry Max diapers are ill-fitting, worthless, and even chemical burning their babies' bottoms. Can corporate PR defeat irate poop cultists?

Babies! They're not just for throwing up on themselves and starring in movies. According to a group of British psychologists, six-month-old babies can tell the difference between good and evil. This is the dumbest thing we've ever heard.

And just like that, Bethenney Frankel's baby is born.

First, MacLaren strollers ate up your baby's fingers. Then, your naturalistic baby sling smothered your baby. And now, Simplicity and Graco cribs are being recalled, because they will "suffocate or strangle" your baby. Your baby! Your baby! Your baby! [Pic]

What's worse than being voted off of Dancing With the Stars? Crying, making statements about loving your dance partner, and camera filming your fake TV fiancee's jealous bitchface for all of America to see.

Dead moms! Body piercing! Fat baby diets! Fat drug diets! And somebody poking all up in your teeth, for your own good! It's health watch, where we watch your health—while getting our shine on, simultaneously!

It's true. We are finally ready to embrace gay Jim Carrey. Also today: a new miniseries about things exploding in olden times starts to come together, important Gossip Girl news, and the truth about babies.

"Baby-killer" shouter and actual giant baby Congressman Randy Neugebauer hired a sexy consulting firm to help sex up his sexy reelection bid.