The battle between celebrity media and California has been a winking-frenemy-like affair since ancient times. But suddenly the gloves are off and the state seems hell bent on taking a sledgehammer to the skull of the Hollywood Press.

For a century now, the world has flocked to California's shores in search of that golden promise of no-questions-asked, no-eyebrows-raised, plastic surgery on demand. But thanks to one flailing Governor, the sun has now set on that dream.

• After another wild day in court, Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook settled their latest round of legal issues yesterday. But not before Brinkley called her ex an "extreme narcissist," and Cook returned the favor by telling reporters she was an "angry, bitter, vindictive woman." At least it's nice to know they still have feelings for each other, though! [NYP, NYDN]
• As easy as it is to picture Courtney Love sitting in front of her computer punching numbers into an Excel spreadsheet, it turns out she may not be the best financial planner in the world. Love owes $300K in back taxes, according to the government. [TMZ]
• Michael Lohan says he knows who Lindsay's drug dealer is and he plans to reveal all in an effort to "save" his daughter. So who is he? "He has no job. He does nothing. All he does is supply everyone in LA." Call us crazy, but supplying "everyone" in LA sounds like a pretty good job to us. [Radar, NYDN]
• Get ready to see a lot more of Megan Fox dressed in, well, not much: Giorgio Armani has tapped her to star in his new underwear ad campaign. [WWD]

The governor of California promised "swift action" against his wife; a podcaster recounted a conversation about cat eating and Biz Stone fell in love with Seinfeld all over again.

• There may be other suitors for NBC in addition to Comcast. Like News Corp. And Liberty Media. And Time Warner. Or maybe not. Time Warner CEO Jeff Bewkes, for one, says he isn't interested. [THR, DHD, Gawker, AdAge]
• More on the sale of BusinessWeek: "Knowledgeable sources" say Bloomberg is paying $2-$5 million in cash for the mag. And another source reports the mag will be changing its name to Bloomberg BusinessWeek. Naturally. [BW, NYT]
• The war between the White House and Fox News goes on. [NYDN, ABC, CJR]
• If you notice TV commercials seem more upbeat than usual, it's because the advertising world has decided to be cheerful and optimistic again. [NYT]
• The Atlantic has determined that NBC CEO Jeff Zucker and New York Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. are "Brave Thinkers," for some reason. [NYO]

Arnold Schwarzenegger must have some balls, because the Republican "governator" made an impromptu appearance at a San Francisco Democratic Club dinner. The crowd was certainly not feeling it, and heckled him with such phrases as "Kiss my faggot ass."

Rob Lowe introduced someone else who has play-acted the part of a savvy political mover; John Larroquette thought about "small feet" and Danny Masterson explained his Tina Fey fantasy. The Twitterati were predictably random.

In the wake of Ted Kennedy's death, many people are assuming the age of Camelot has come to an end. These people have obviously forgotten the family's fecundity, for there are plenty of Kennedy's to take the helm.

What do you get when you combine the all-too-apathetic and under-informed citizenry of California with the all-too-narcissistic user base of Twitter? Truly terrible questions, for the state's governor.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has us direly concerned about the future of California. Set aside the Republican's policies, and turn your attention to the growing cache of weaponry he keeps right there in the governor's office.

Hilary Swank turns 35 today. Restaurateur Keith McNally is turning 58. Lisa Kudrow is 46. The former bodybuilder and actor who is now the Governor of California is 62. Director Peter Bogdanovich is turning 70. Bud Selig, the commissioner of Major League Baseball, is 75. Director Richard Linklater is turning 49. Laurence Fishburne is 48. Park Avenue plastic surgeon David Hidalgo is 57. Former MTV exec (and now Oprah disciple) Christina Norman is turning 46. Ad agency CEO Chuck Brymer is 50. Food Network host Alton Brown is turning 47. Tom Green is 38. Vivica A. Fox is turning 45. Jaime Pressly is 32. Anita Hill is 53. And Paul Anka turns 68 today.

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger announced the first 25 films to receive California's new production tax incentives. Some titles include: Beverly Hill Chihuahua 2, Naked Gun 4 and Dinner for Schmucks and Comedy Central's TV show Important Things With Demetri Martin.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, the actor and amateur governor, just posted a video to Twitter in which he casually brandishes a knife. This is bizarre enough to terrify even the jaded and severely battered citizens of California.

Sunday's Daily News featured a gossip item in which a hooker who worked for the same escort agency frequented by Eliot Spitzer claims that she serviced another sitting American governor on three occasions. Who could it be? Let's speculate recklessly!

The infamous Vogue editrix loses her party planner, House as a tranny-nun, Governator Ahnold's real-life action sequence, a sad Hollywood divorce, midgets, gays, nerdy Jews, scary Americans, more Gossip Girl action, and Gary Busey. Presenting your Saturday morning Gossip Roundup:

Arnold Schwarzenegger was a guest on Jay Leno's show last night and Glenn Beck, Fox News' resident Barnumesque dildo, just couldn't pass up the opportunity to make fun of the manner in which the California Governor speaks, and even managed to do so quite horribly.

Barack Obama has already sent subtle signals that the Feds have no interest in prosecuting medical marijuana distributors. Now Arnold Schwarzenegger wants to "study" legalizing marijuana in California. Weed money is too good to resist!

• Are Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze planning to head down the aisle this summer? That's what the Star claims, since the two have been together "almost a year" and supposedly "don't see why they should wait much longer." As good a reason as any! [Star]
• Sam Ronson changed her relationship status on Facebook to "It's complicated," and says she and LiLo have started talking again, which may mean they're getting back together. [Us]
• Mary-Kate Olsen "kept touching" actor Bradley Cooper at a Tribeca Film Festival party, which could be a sign that they might be dating. [NYDN]
• Parker Posey showed off her new man at the festival, too. She's dating a sculptor named Scott Lenhardt. [NYM]

When Tesla Motors launched its all-electric Roadster sports car, celebrities lined up to order one — including Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Now we hear he's been trying to return it for months.

With Arnold Schwarzenegger missing the movies more every day, and with first choice Rod Blagojevich out of a job, Sylvester Stallone has offered the governor a role as himself in The Expendables.