The Federal Reserve is rolling out new $100 bills. Pity. We quite liked the current design: clean, uncluttered, bold, and crisp on the fingertips (or so we hear). Now it looks like a god damn child's crayon scratch pad.

Mike Bloomberg—not only our selfless, dollar-a-year salary mayor, but a massive philanthropist, too. What's not to like? Well, how about the fact that his charitable foundation doesn't want to pay taxes here, in the United States of America?

If there is one thing tabloid sex fiend columnist Andrea Peyser hates, it is everything good in the human soul. Andrea's gripe today: someone was shown mercy. This is unfair to the bloodthirsty, such as Andrea Peyser!

Dorothy Height, who spent 40 years as president of the National Council for Negro Women, died this morning at the age of 98. She "was arguably the most influential woman at the top levels of civil rights leadership." [WP]

Edwin Valero was one of the most promising boxers on the planet, and a national hero in Venezuela. But last weekend he killed his wife. And this morning he killed himself.

If you thought that being a celebrity meant you were given some kind of gold-plated volcano-proof airplane, well boy, were you wrong. While Eyjafjallajokull traps little people in Europe's hellish social democracies, Whitney Houston is being burdened, too!

New Jersey governor Chris Christie didn't release his tax return yesterday. He says he filed for an extension, but he didn't release the extension form. What is he hiding? (Probably a delicious foot-long hoagie.) [Via, Pic: AP]

Hopefully another step in getting Constance McMillen, lesbian prom crusader, out of her repressive Mississippi town: She's been named a grand marshal for this year's New York Gay Pride Parade! Maybe she can look at apartments while she's here. [NYDN]

Playwright Mike Daisey's show about the CEO of Apple wasn't scheduled to hit a stage until next year, but theater world excitement is such that a preview of The Agony and Ecstasy of Steve Jobs was moved to next week.

Benjamin Hooks, who became the head of the NAACP in 1977 and spent 15 years adding hundreds of thousands of members to the flagging civil rights group, has died at the age of 85.

What is Congress going to do this summer? The House plans on taking it easy, and the Senate will work very hard. Which means the House will get only twice as much done as the Senate for a change.

Here in America, Starbucks has already transformed itself from a safe haven for aspirational faux-yuppies into a place for hobos to hang out. But abroad, Starbucks' slate is still clean. China and India: Starbucks is coming for your culture money.

The Pulitzer Prizes came out today. One went to a columnist who wrote two years ago that Barack Obama was ethnically unequipped to understand America, and another went to the greatest songwriter of all time. Both of them were mistakes.

Charlie Rangel is a horrible congressman because he's hopelessly corrupt and doesn't pay his taxes. But he's popular in Harlem, so the only guy rising to unseat him is the son of the horrible congressman that Rangel unseated.

Hillary Clinton's people are "warm" to speculation she'll be nominated to John Paul Stevens' Supreme Court seat, says Politico, but the White House says no way, since the idea makes as little sense as it did in May and September.

Just friends or bust friends? America's most respected scandal sheet reports that our nemesis Martha Stewart is trying to horn her way in on Hillary Clinton's man—Bill Clinton, former prez! Martha, you cad, allegedly!

A judge in Cuyahoga County, Ohio is suing the local paper, the Cleveland Plain-Dealer, for disclosing that certain comments on its website came from her email address. The paper says it had no choice. Does privacy trump news?

A funny thing about New Orleans is nobody has any idea how many people live there since that hurricane destroyed everything. You might say the census is the biggest thing to hit New Orleans since Katrina! Don't say that. [NYT]

Tiger Woods just held his first "real" press conference since the lady-fucking scandal broke. He is happy to be back and playing golf! But wait, a porn star says he is a "big fat liar." Exciting day in golf news!

Constance McMillen, Mississippi teen, recently caused an uproar by wanting to bring her girlfriend, a lesbian, to the prom. Well, after much legal ballyhoo, the school district caved and invited her to prom. Turns out, though, it mighta been fake.