From the always-enjoyable Urban Dictionary:

A recent reader report has us proudly announcing that, for the second time in just as many weeks, Ann Coulter has made contact with calories:

Cultural critic Mark Dery dares to look into the abyss of right wing muppet Ann Coulter's Reading For Right-Wingers book list and discovers a portal into the idiot wind tunnel that is Coulter's brain:

The Times hasn't even agreed to our proposal for a column called "His Name is My Name, Too!," yet we already have one of the column's first participants. Ladies and gentleman, allow us to reprint the scariest phrase you will ever read in your life:

This weekend, an important announcement hit the columns regarding the career of Ann Coulter:

Liz Smith takes a break from covering boring old actors and their dumb self-congratulatory awards today. For some reason, she chooses to open her column with a look at posable, lifelike right wing talking doll, Ann Coulter:

Speaking of books, how much would you bid for Ann Coulter's How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must)? If the answer is somewhere between stick of gum and McDonald's Happy Meal then check out the listing on eBay from a poor college graduate just looking for beer money. He says:

· Bill Clinton pulled Richard Gere aside at a party thrown by Anna Wintour to discuss Gere's public excoriation of his wife, Senator Hillary Clinton the recent AmFar event in midtown. David Kuhn, ex-editor of Steven Brill's defunct Content magazine, got into a screaming match with two women who locked themelves in the bathroom for 15 minutes a party hosted by Jay MacInereney. A frustrated Kuhn started banging on the door and yelling, "Come on! Get out of there! It's just fucking rude!" [Page Six]
· Former presidential advisor David Gergen said he'd love to have Richard Nixon in office right now, and declared Bill Clinton the second smartest president. [Page Six]
· Just fired Independent editor Tom Clavin on owner Jerry Della Femina. Della Femina on Clavin, "He's been pretty arrogant and sanctimonious. But the paper's never done better. And people should put in a full day of work." [Page Six]
· Conservative columnist Ann Coulter on why she's moving to Miami: "[Bloomberg] is wrecking New York City and I didn't want to pay for his fascist smoking police...Soon he'll be mandating that New Yorkers have a glass of milk and engage in calisthenics every day...He seems to imagine that New Yorkers were drawn to that city for the clean living...I'm not sure even [former mayor John] Lindsay could have come up with something so breathtakingly stupid. Reduced bar business means reduced tax revenues means Ann-Pays-More. So I'm gone." [Page Six]
· Socialite Sale Johnson: "You know the world's gone nuts when the best rapper is a white guy, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance and Germany doesn't want to go to war." [Cindy Adams]
· Liz Smith is being strangely catty about her NYT counterpart, Joyce Wadler. [Liz Smith]
· Gore Vidal may have authored Michael Moore's Oscar speech. [Liz Smith]
· Rapper Ol'Dirty Bastard is staying in a psychiatric hospital after exhibiting signs of schizophrenia: "He would look up at the sky and say, 'Yes, I will do what you say.' He also said the voices had told him to rename himself 'Big Baby Jesus.'" [NY Daily News]

Film critic "Mr. Cranky" takes on FOX News (among others): "Like an Iraqi soldier dressed in civilian clothes, Fox News has crept in under the false cover of objectivity to unleash a blitzkrieg of bias so right wing that channel-surfers often mistake it for a eugenics infomercial. The only nod at an actual exchange of ideas is Hannity bitch-slapping the hapless Colmes while slobbering permaguest Bill Bennett slowly undoes his belt buckle in anticipation of giving that liberal fucker his final comeuppance. It's enough the scare the teeth right out of Ann Coulter's vagina."
Mr. Cranky rates the movies: Iraq war coverage [via MeFi]