An Idaho woman faces up to six months in jail after allegedly beating a hunter's falcon to death with a beaded scarf, apparently a failed attempt to rescue a duck it was attacking, the Associated Press reports.

Since January, over 1,450 sea lions have been found stranded on California beaches, crowding rescue centers past capacity and worrying animal experts, The New York Times reports. According to researchers, this is 5 times greater than the historical average.

"Sup, girl?" asked a creeper buffalo during one woman's recent trip to a Washington wildlife park, adding, "Is that bread you got there? Cool. Wanna French?"

Who's a naughty little stowaway? Is it you? Is it you? Yes it is! You're the naughty little stowaway who was found in a traveler's suitcase this week at New York's LaGuardia Airport.

For centuries, we've naively believed that man was the king of the animals. But is that just want they wanted us to think??

The beaked and eight-tentacled monsters with which we enjoy a tenuously shared existence on this Earth are no longer content to sit placidly in their tanks and their oceans. Cephalopods the world over are rising up and out of the water, from Australia to the Pacific Northwest, and no land-dweller is safe.

The animal kingdom is, to the delight of web users riding the dot-com wave, full of photographic evidence of disparate species getting along. "#relationshipgoals," one might tag a photo of lion hugging a man; "me and bae," you might say about a dog cuddling a cat. A weasel and a woodpecker? Save this one...FOR YOUR ENEMIES!

Why is every single person in your office gathered around computer monitors, laughing and having a great time without you right now? Because there's a high-speed wild llama chase through suburban Arizona in action, and they're all watching the live stream. Breathe a sigh of relief and take a peek below.

On this winter night so dreary,
answer please this simple query:
Wouldn't you be better off
watching reddish pandas, boss?

Being a sea lion is fine but it probably isn't as cool as being a human. Humans can walk freely in the world and eat hot dogs and see burlesque shows, etc. One eager sea lion, after becoming aware of this fact, decided to try blending in with a human family like we wouldn't fucking notice.

A Wisconsin woman says she was recently asked to leave a McDonald's over her choice of company, even though her companion had done nothing wrong. Nothing, that is, besides being a baby kangaroo.

Roo is a five-month-old black-and-white animal who hops around on her hind legs. Despite her unusual coloring, she seems verily a kangaroo; witness her athletic haunches, upturned tail, and quintessentially kangarooish posture. But what if she's actually a dog?

A coyote was caught on an Upper West Side basketball court last night, the New York Post reports. Police tranquilized the animal and plan to release her back into the wild.

Are these videos funny? Yes. Are they cruel? Not really. Do they demonstrate the need for dogs and cats to unite as one and overthrow their human overlords, putting them under the blade or at least in an embarrassing Aladdin costume or two?

It'd be great if furious animals could destroy all the things that make us unhappy: imagine crows picking apart our texts from mom, or a giraffe stomping on bad cops. Luckily, it looks like sharks are devouring the underwater cables that make the internet possible.

Ice longa, vita brevis.

It looks like Kamina—the lonesome ape baby raised by humans and rejected by her own—will be hitting the old dusty trail again after two more gorilla moms refused to take her in.

A seal was found in a field. You good, dog? You must be confused. That's not where seals go. What's up with you? You got this whole thing twisted. How'd you get there?

In a benchmark animal rights case this week, an orangutan who has spent the entirety of her life in zoos has now been declared a "nonhuman person" by a court and will be transferred to an animal sanctuary, Reuters reports.

Hey, drunk people: Did you decorate a sheep for Christmas this weekend? Did you then lose that sheep? If so, please report your drunken self to the Nebraska Humane Society and pick up your Christmas sheep.