So who's still watching American Idol? Did you like that quick, nasty cutthroat semifinal elimination round yesterday as much as I did? It was so fast and bloody. Let's take a look at the mess.

Lost faces a new villain: permanently rescheduled American Idol. [THR]

American Idol prelims are over. Thank ye gods. But what about some of those choices, huh? Why are they making the weirdos and duds so easy to spot this time around? We need more mystery!

In case you were worried that American Idol had somehow lost its dehumanizing edge over eight seasons, and that there was perhaps some small chance that its castaways won't end up on Celebrity Rehab—fret not.

· We're not sure what it is they're cooking on Late Night, but it requires some extra-salty language. (Tee hee!)

Which Idol judge was beaten hardest with a bad-taste-bat? [EW]

As we head into the final installment of preliminary auditions tonight, a very important American Idol question needs to be asked. Is laughing, desperate, weeping Tatiana the most annoying contestant the show's ever had?

We swore we'd gotten Bikini Girl out of our system after yesterday's breathless retelling of her final moments on American Idol—a pretty amazing run that ended much as it began, with Kara DioGuardi's hacking noises.

Yesterday, we made the case for Bikini Girl as post-post-feminist-Amazonian-karaoke-warrior, but predicted she'd be out. Well, we were right about that, but we regretfully report her elimination demonstrated an egregious lack of Girl Power.

For such a limp-eyed season of American Idol, this is what passes for scandal: contestant Joanna Pacitti, who has acknowledged a previous recording contract, has close ties to the show's producers, 19 Entertainment.

On part one of Idol Hollywood Week, hopeful after hopeful took to the Kodak Theatre stage for what Simon Cowell described without a shred of facetiousness as "the most important day of your lives."

We're still not sure if what we saw in the Salt Lake judging room was an actual 250-lb., adorable pink Easter Beary or rather some barbiturate-induced Paula Abdul hallucination, but whatever it was—we're in love.

The American Idol taco truck pulled into Jacksonville last night, where aspirant Darren Darnell—a radioactive people person with a seemingly bottomless bag of party tricks—nominated himself holding tank spirit-squad leader.

Tuesday's inaugural festivities were as close to a must-see civic event as our nation as seen in almost 30 years. At least until American Idol came along later Tuesday night.

Just who is this terrible Von Smith, who appeared on American Idol last night? That's what the ladies of The View wondered, before being reminded that he'd actually performed on their show in 2007.

Part two of American Idol's premiere moved the circus to Kansas City, keeping frequent contestant tackle-dummy Ryan Seacrest far from the threat of any icky bikini girl-germs.

American Idol will come under scrutiny in the weeks to come, as one former, batty contestant—that sweet crazy-candy that gets viewers hooked from the start—tragically took her own life outside Paula's home during Hollywood Week.

If you need a little pick-me-up on this bitterly cold, depressing day, this video of an awkward Ryan Seacrest trying to high-five a blind contestant on American Idol last night should do the trick. [Vulture]

Last night, a karaoke leviathan reemerged from the depths of the Pacific to terrorize the TV landscape, its destructive appetite unsated until a virginal white-soul prodigy (preferably Mormon) is sacrificed at its easy-listening feet.

• Bad news: Magazine ad pages were down 11% in 2008 and 17% in the fourth quarter. Good news: They now take up less room in your bag. [AdAge]
• New York magazine is cutting editors' salaries. [ATD]
• Both OK! and the Star are laying off staff. [Jossip]
• Obama is expected to tap Julius Genachowski as FCC chair. [B&C]
• MSNBC plans to broadcast the inauguration at Starbucks locations. [NYT]
• Literary agent David Vigliano has filed suit against Lenny Dykstra. [NYP]
• John Mayer is taping a new pilot for CBS. [People]
• American Idol's debut roped in more than 30 million viewers last night, but that's down 10 percent compared to last year's premiere. [Reuters]