Part two of American Idol's premiere moved the circus to Kansas City, keeping frequent contestant tackle-dummy Ryan Seacrest far from the threat of any icky bikini girl-germs.

Among the hopefuls was Von Smith, or the answer to the question, "What if there was some way of marketing Sam Harris to Generation Z?" Channeling the great Judy G. right down to the cocked fedora and black pumps, Smith announced his not entirely surprising selection of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." After a word of song-choice caution from Simon, and one phlegmy and phlat false-start, Smith launched into a tympanic-membrane-lacerating rendition of the Idol chestnut; just the word-fragment "where" sent three of the four judges flying backwards in their rolling desk chairs and crashing out the window of the Marriott conference room.

It was a trying moment for even the most die-hard Idol loyalist, rendered all the more astonishing when—following a craftily placed commercial break in which the viewer built up almost Christmas Eve-like anticipation at the verbal flailing to follow—a unanimous "You're Going to Hollywood, Liza!" verdict followed. His journey, sadly, doesn't end here. [AI]