Felony charges against girlfriend-slashing New York State Senator Hiram Monserrate, a Democrat who briefly caucused with Republicans until the Democrats bought his loyalty back, will not be dropped.

Turns out that a couple of state workers in Albany hid in some back room smoking weed and selling weed and watching DVDs and passing out on the couch instead of working. And?

The utterly stupid, ridiculous clusterfuck that's in Albany is the perfect example of why some citizens decide not to pay their taxes. Someone finally realized as much, so they're not getting any more money until they get back to work.

So. What's up in Albany? Nothing. Nothing at all. It has actually been too depressing to even occasionally update you. Well, it's also been kind of funny. But now something might happen!

Albany is such a joke, the Post photoshopped everyone as scary clowns and the Times handed over its op-ed page to the funniest/scariest clown of all, Rudy Giuliani.

Pedro Espada, the corrupt State Senator who decided to be a Republican the other week, says he gets two votes, because he is so special. And then the Bronx District Attorney kidnapped his housekeeper.

Wonderful news: Hiram Monserrate is a Democrat again! The New York state Senator who famously glassed his girlfriend and whose term cannot end soon enough switched back to caucusing with his party and doomed the Senate to (yet more) gridlock.

New York's fate rests in the open palms of a guy who lives in Westchester but represents the Bronx and who works in a little shithole 130 miles up the Hudson from here. And the guy who slashed his girlfriend.

Here are the first five paragraphs (don't worry, they are are short, and wonderful) of today's lead editorial in the New York Daily News, "Beneath contempt: Billionaire Tom Golisano is the worst of a vile crew in the Albany cesspool":

Oh, hey, Democrats no longer control the New York State Senate. Who are our heroic new Republican senators? Transit-hating Pedro Espada Jr. and—wait for it—girlfriend-abusing (accused) criminal Hiram Monserrate!

Just in case you were looking for further evidence that Albany is a useless, dysfunctional mess, now you have it: Five months after Democrats took control of the State Senate, it appears Republicans are back in charge after two scandal-plagued Democrats—Pedro Espada Jr. of the Bronx and Hiram Monserrate of Queens (left)—suddenly decided to cross the aisle this afternoon. Monserrate, as you may recall, is under indictment for allegedly slashing his girlfriend's face with broken glass last December. If he's eventually convicted of assault, Monserrate will lose his seat, which will mean the chamber will be evenly split between Democrats and Republicans—and will be without a tie-breaking vote—until the 2010 elections. [NYT, NYDN, NYP]

Albany restaurant critic Steve Barnes was viciously beaten last October by two thugs he'd never seen before. An arrest has been made! And he's got shadowy connections to the seedy Albany restaurant world!

Sad day for Albany Democrats! State Senator Hiram Monserrate was indicted for slashing his girlfriend's face.

David Paterson: no one likes him anymore, though he's still better than the last, like, 10 governors. We only like him more after reading his insane love letter to his disgraced former aide.

Do you want to listen to six minutes worth of proof that journalism sucks? Here is the executive director of a Republican PAC yelling at some poor, polite reporter in Albany.

Cops are leaking details of their investigation into incoming State Senator Hiram Monserrate's little face-slashing incident.

Allies of Hiram Monserrate, who "tripped" while "'bringing' his girlfriend a 'glass' of 'water'", have the worst idea of sympathetic spin ever.

Hiram Monserrate, a Queens Democrat and state senator-elect, will be taking his oath of office on January 1, even though he allegedly slashed his girlfriend's face with a broken glass.

Ruben Diaz Sr got mad at the gays and some threats were made, but now Diaz has set the record straight in a crazy press release addressed to "Liz Smith."

State Senator Malcolm Smith is giving up on negotiating with Senators Pedro Espada Jr., Carl Kruger, and Ruben Diaz Sr. So no one knows who will run the New York state senate and what will happen to gay marriage and whether those three assholes will remain Democrats or what. Smith's is a frustrating but morally correct decision, and only one of those modifiers usually describes doings in Albany. Diaz was typically incoherently dickish in a message to a reporter: