Hiram Monserrate, a Queens Democrat and state senator-elect, will be taking his oath of office on January 1, even though he allegedly slashed his girlfriend's face with a broken glass.

Well there's not really much of an "allegedly" about it. Monserrate broke a glass and stabbed his girlfriend's face with it early Friday morning, following a heated argument "over an undisclosed item Mr. Monserrate had found in her purse." This is according to the criminal complaint. But Monserrate says "he tripped while bringing Ms. Giraldo a glass of water, causing the injuries." Yes, then she ran into a door and fell down the stairs, as Monserrate repeatedly asked "why are you hitting yourself?"

More fun facts: after the incident, Monserrate drove his girlfriend to the hospital. Not the hospital five blocks away from his apartment, of course, but to one just outside city limits (maybe), 12 miles away. And what is Monserrate's background?

Mr. Monserrate is a former Marine and served 12 years in the New York Police Department before getting a psychological disability pension in 2000, according to a person who has reviewed documents related to Mr. Monserrate’s pension.

But unlike most former marines and NYPD members with psychological problems, Monserrate is not "an aggressive person," according to his girlfriend's sister.

Haha also he's a Scientologist. He promoted the insane Ground Zero "detoxification" program and partied at the Los Angeles Celebrity Center. (That's him above, grinning alongside Kelly Preston and John Travolta at the "religion's" 38th anniversary party in 2007.) And once he cosponsored a proclamation calling for an "L. Ron Hubbard Day." So obv he didn't slash his girlfriend, it was THE BODY THETANS in his MEAT BODY.

So. Monserrate is, as we said, a Queens Democrat and a state senator-elect. Have you heard the news about the Democrats in Albany? They just took the state senate for the first time in decades! Hooray! Change has come to Albany! Of course then three anti-gay bigot Democrats staged a weird power-play, refusing to support Malcolm Smith as majority leader unless he took gay marriage off the table. Negotiations broke down and now no one is entirely sure if they'll stay in the party, or who'll be the majority leader next session. So that Democratic lead is kinda tenuous! Which is maybe why Monserrate is pretty sure no one will demand that he not actually take the oath of office on January 1. It's all in Malcolm Smith's hands! Of course he has not been convicted of anything yet, and now his GF is not cooperating with the investigation anymore, so he probably won't be convicted of anything.