It's time to light the Yule log of our appreciation and warm ourselves in front of the nurturing fire represented by this week's sponsors, without whom we'd be consigned to another Christmas of mugging Salvation Army Santas for nog money. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and keep the holiday spirit alive, see this page.

Thanks to this week's sponsors, who ensure our ad outlook is rosy and our plug is therefore unpulled. Want to help us to help you? There's info here.

We don't understand, either, why Nordstrom is advertising on Gawker — one imagines that Bergdorf's is simultaneously running an extensive campaign on, say, Seattlest — but, still, they're paying us money, and they're sponsoring a lovely contest, and so we're happy to do whatever they'd like.

We pause to send a ludicrously early—but still sincere!—Valentine to this week's sponsors, all of whom would certainly marry us even if we weren't already knocked up. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and brainwash persuade our readers that yours is the finest film/spirit/network/band/apparel on the planet, see this page.

We're popping marshmallows in hot chocolate for this week's sponsors, who help ensure our cocoa is nicely spiked. Want to join our apr s-ski shindig? There's info here.

Join us once again in this moving moment of heartfelt thanks to this week's sponsors, whose sweet, sweet money keeps us out of (at least twice a week, anyway) the breadline. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and cause seething resentment in your soon-to-be bankrupt competitors, see this page.

Carefully written thank-you notes for this week's sponsors, who some day, when we become men, will help foot the bill for our rock-starrific b'nai mitzvah. Care to stuff a few checks in our suit pocket? More info here.

In this season of thanks, let us not forget the gratitude we feel for this week's sponsors. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and rent your very own chamber in our hearts, see this page.

If you're anything like us (and we know you are—would it kill you to wear pants to work?), your favorite part of the week is reading a list of this site's incredibly generous sponsors. Yay! We're madly in love with them and we don't care who knows it! If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and dangle your tantalizing bits in front of the world's most avid consumers, see this page.

We're mute with enthusiasm for this week's sponsors, whose filthy lucre will some day allow us to purchase a vocabulary for genuine human misfortune, among other things. Want to buy us a few vowels from Pat and Vanna? More info here.

Much thanks to our loyal sponsors, who allow us to continue advancing the homosexual agenda of showtunes and Anderson Cooper. Care to join our Gawker mafia? Info is here here.

It's time again for our brief genuflection before this week's sponsors, the generous folks who make our fascinating musings on Tom Cruise's poor short game possible. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and titillate the world's most spend-horny consumers to the point of release, see this page.

You know that tingly, hopeful, wonderful feeling you get sitting at your desk around 4:00 pm on a Friday? Wouldn't it be great if they could bottle it? Guess what they already have, in the form of Defamer sponsors and their wares! Take a moment out of your busy day, will you, to luxuriate in their Jake Gyllenhaal-levels of dreaminess. And should you care to join them, everything you need to know is right here.

Perhaps you have spied the hallucinatorily hypnotic floating 3D glasses swooping seductively across your screen. Perhaps you have recently been peppering casual conversation and exclamations of lovemaking passion with involuntary cries of "I LOVE THE 80s!!!"

It's time once again to take an oh-so-brief moment to recognize the important financial contributions of this week's sponsors, who help make possible the nonsense you see here on a daily basis. Our mutual love is real, unlike that sham-love of Nick and Jessica. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and expose your wares to a lustful mob of insatiable consumers, see this page.

We'd like to take a moment of silence in recognition of this week's sponsors, whose glorious, glorious cash keeps this NFL-style orgy boat afloat. Done being silent? Then consume! Consume! If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and make the world's most conspicuous consumers hot and bothered for your line of business, see this page.

Now is the time when we slow-dance with this week's sponsors, politely ignoring that their eager hands have slid from the small of our back down to our fannies. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and drive our readers wild with desire for your product or service, see this page.

Kindly speak in hushed tones as we move our entire bodyweight up the legs, over the buttocks and across the torso of our deserving sponsors. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and receive similar toxin-releasing treatment, see this page.

Join us in showering confetti made of pure gold on this week's sponsors, who are always there with a hug and a bottle of cheap whiskey when we're feeling down. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and become the sexiest person at the online marketing conference, see this page.

We extend our heartfelt (as much as that little lump of anthracite can be considered a heart) thanks to this week's sponsors, who keep us in 24-carat ball-gags and only the finest nipple clamps money can buy. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and make our readers repeatedly utter your safety word, see this page.