Last week we were telling Adam Lambert to gay it up because no one cares he's a 'mo. Now his über-gay performance at the American Music Awards cost him a spot on Good Morning America. We're sorry, Adam.

Adam Lambert's crotch-thrusting, face-humping performance did not sit well with many viewers hoping for a staid and wholesome American Music Awards. Unsurprised enough yet? Well here's another very predictable fact: It was the gay parts that pissed people off.

• Are Jude Law and Sienna Miller back together? That's what it looked like when the duo were seen cavorting at The Box last Thursday, but reps for the two are denying it. [NYDN]
• Either Jay-Z is a really thoughtful husband or Beyoncé is a bit of a control freak, but Jay refused to take photos with the models at the Victoria's Secret fashion show last week supposedly "out of respect" for his wife. [P6]
• Heidi Klum has officially taken Seal's last name and is now Heidi Samuel. Please update your address books, thanks. [People]
• The American Music Awards took place last night. Some highlights: Taylor Swift won three awards; Michael Jackson won four posthumous prizes; Lady Gaga set a piano on fire; Adam Lambert's S&M-themed closing act involved getting a mock blowjob and kissing a male band member; and Jennifer Lopez fell down on her most famous asset, but she managed to pick herself up and carry on as if nothing had happened. [People, MSNBC, TMZ]

America's favorite Is He or Isn't He?, Adam Lambert, likes it both ways, but mostly he likes it with men, in their mouths. Please allow him to show you exactly how, on television at the American Music Awards.

Mitch Winehouse offers charming new details about his daughter's breasts; Adam Lambert fires back at Out magazine's editor; Miley Cyrus literally dresses like a whore. Friday's gossip is losing its sense of irony, but makes up for it with cleavage.

Adam Lambert has the difficult task of becoming a megastar while being openly gay. How can he be butch enough for the mainstream but gay enough for his homo fans? He can't, and the gays are fighting back already.

Beyonce and Lady Gaga leak a clip from their forthcoming music video; Levi Johnston disguises himself as the Unabomber; at least one member of Congress thinks Carrie Prejean should run for office. Welcome to Tuesday's gossip.

After his Details shoot with a naked woman and talking about his deep lady love, Adam Lambert continues to do a shitty job convincing us he has any interest in female genitalia. This time it's for homo mag Out.

[Samantha Ronson is going to have to try harder to make Lindsay Lohan jealous than by hanging out with the very virile, ladies' man Adam Lambert at Bardot in L.A. last night. Image via X17]

• Rihanna has a new album to promote, which explains why she's suddenly breaking her silence about the personal troubles she's faced over the past year. She addresses the Chris Brown incident in an interview in the current issue of Glamour. And she'll discuss it again on Thursday when she sits down to an interview with Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America. [People, Sun, Glamour]
• Related: Rihanna attended Mariah Carey's Halloween party the other night, but the two divas refused to exchange a word. [P6]
• Kate Hudson says she quit drinking to get ready for a film role (and not because she's pregnant). She also says the diamond ring she's been wearing is not because she's engaged to A-Rod. (She says she isn't.) [P6]

• Yesterday, Broadway actress Pia Glenn slammed Salman Rushdie, saying her ex-boyfriend was "dysfunctional" and was still obsessed with his ex-wife, Padma Lakshmi. Today, it's Rushdie's turn to hit back. Not has he "long ago turned the page and moved on" from Lakshmi, he says, he would also like you to know that Glenn is "a large, radioactive bucket of stress," "an accomplished liar," and also happens to be "broke and unemployed." So we're guessing a reconciliation is totally out of the question here? [P6]
• Expect to see an angry video by Tricia Walsh-Smith posted to YouTube any minute now. A state appeals court rejected the rage-filled divorcée's motion to undo her pre-nup to theater mogul Philip Smith yesterday. [P6]
• A California teenager has been charged with burglarizing Lindsay Lohan and Audrina Patridge's homes and making off with $170,000. [People, NYDN]
• Is Ali Wise's PR career over now that four women have accused her of voicemail hacking? That's what the Post suggests today, with a source telling the paper that "Wise is now radioactive in the industry." Then again, if there's anything we can learn from Lizzie Grubman's not-so-pretty past, it's that people who work in PR tend to be a very forgiving bunch. [NYP]

Oh, look: metrosexual Bible Details landed America's biggest gay pop star for a cover shoot. A very heterosexual cover shoot. (He sorta kisses a girl!!) No, Details doesn't look gay at all.

Jon Gosselin's gambling at Foxwoods, but it's Robert Pattinson who can't lose. Stephenie Meyer's getting sued, because she's no Astronaut Mya or, uh, Billy Bush. Or Hayden Panettiere's 'Pink Taco' sharing Harry Morton. Visionaries! Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup!

Gerard Butler rejects Kelly Bensimon, Adam Lambert's fans throw sex toys at him, Ashley Olsen is surprised she didn't end up like Britney, Ryan O'Neal gave his 11-year-old son cocaine, Joan Rivers hates Jon Gosselin and Madonna plagiarizes a poet.

For all of you people who are always complaining about how the "good" news rarely gets reported, here's a little ray of sunshine courtesy of the New York Times—-Some straight men are actually accepting of the gays! Amazing!

Aw, they think they're people. Noted gay Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Plot Contrivance) and his partner, actor David Burtka, are in the hunt for a surrogate mommy. They're using the same agency as Sarah Jessica Parker!

The most ludicrous American Idol contestant ever, Adam Lambert, has finally come out of the closet. In a cover story for Rolling Stone! All of America's gay boo-boos are now healed, or something.

• The feud between Stephanie Seymour and Peter Brant has gone from bad to worse. After tussling with Brant's bodyguards last week, Seymour was issued a summons on Saturday after she "yanked the keys out of a Brant-hired security guard's car, threw them in the bushes, and then used her Range Rover to block the driveway of the couple's Greenwich estate." Just imagine what's going to happen when the two actually face one another in court. [NYP]
• Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson appear to have reunited. Enjoy it while it lasts! If history is any guide, by this time next week, the couple will have had another messy brawl, LiLo will be melting down on Twitter, and Sam will be running off to another foreign country to get away from her. [Sun, People]
• Madonna has managed to "convinced" three appeal judges in Malawi to let her appeal baby Mercy, or so says the Telegraph of London. [Telegraph]

• The romance between Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez is heating up. How does People know this? Well, A-Rod supposedly introduced Kate to some of his friends and Kate has been telling people she's a baseball fan, so it's pretty obvious, no? [People]
• Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou have come up with a name for their new baby: He's Kenzo Lee Hounsou, in honor of the Japanese designer by the same name. [P6]
• A woman is claiming she was attacked and left "crippled" by Sacha Baron Cohen (playing the role of Bruno) in 2007. [TMZ]
• Eminem had thousands of dollars worth of items stolen from his L.A. hotel room on Sunday night, including his diamond necklace and laptop. [NYDN]

[OMG, OMG. That's Adam Lambert who I think should be forcefully made king of the gay spokesmen and wear a sign that says 'I"m gay" everyday and who is a boy, holding hands with another boy. Image via Splash]