Bless The Smoking Gun for finding the emails sent to the FCC after Adam Lambert gay glitter-splooged all over the American Music Awards' face. People were so mad! And obscene! And worried about the kids! Here are our faves.

Today, a judge ruled video of next week's trial on the constitutionality of California's gay marriage ban could be uploaded YouTube. Now a question looms larger even than Prop. 8's constitutionality: Will the trial go viral?

2009 had its fair share of things that didn't go exactly according to plan. F-bombs, dry-humping, real humping, and lots of unforeseen stupidity. Here are the 12 best things that weren't supposed to happen on TV, but luckily, they did.

Adam Lambert just wrapped up an appearance on The Jay Leno Show. In the best bits, Lambert talks about dropping out of college, not being "plucked" for Idol, the AMAs controversy and Bill O'Reilly's rumor about him. Also: Lambert's performance.

The Geminid meteor shower is like the American Music Awards of meteor showers: We're vaguely aware it's happening, but nobody gives a shit unless it's accompanied by a Adam Lambert facehumping. However, it peaks tonight! Go outside and look! [NatGeo]

As usual, Barbara Walters' "Most Fascinating People of the Year" special wrongly assumed public fascination with a person somehow confers on them the quality of being fascinating. What was most fascinating were Walters' funny faces when she talked about sexuality.

There will be a time when everyone gets their entertainment through cortex-implanted microchips. But for now, people are still watching a lot of "traditional" (i.e. not Hulu) television. According to a Nielsen study, 99% of video viewing is via TV.

• Tiger Woods' mistress tally is quickly approaching the double digits. Jamie Jungers, a Las Vegas model, says she had a two-year affair with Woods; then there's Cori Rist, an aspiring model, who says she started seeing Woods after meeting him at Butter. To top it all off, porn star Holly Sampson has also been mentioned as a woman Woods was involved with, although she's yet to confirm or deny the report. Meanwhile, Queen Oprah thoughtfully reached out to Tiger over the weekend and offered him the opportunity to tell his side of the story, and that may be his best chance yet of somehow saving his rep at this point. [NYDN, E! NYDN]
• Alexa Joel, the daughter of Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley, is recovering at home after what seems to have been a suicide attempt on Saturday. Joel took a bunch of homeopathic sleeping pills—possibly because she was upset over a break-up—and then called 911 herself. [NYP, NYDN, NYP]

Yesterday: ridiculous PR kerfuffles by The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation's attempts to condemn ABC for canceling supposedly-risque Adam Lambert performing on Kimmel or Dick Clark's Octogenarian NYE. Now, Glambert made The View, and GLAAD wrote a release. Naturally.

The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation was trying to say "ABC sucks for banning Adam Lambert." They are so mealy-mouthed and non-commital that it took them three, yes three, press releases to say just that. Get a grip, GLAAD.

They didn't cancel him for gay kissing, they canceled him for gay kissing without warning; Miley Cyrus copies one of Lindsay Lohan's tattoos; Rihanna cops to being a size queen. Friday's gossip is sassy-meowing all over the place.

• Although Tiger Woods and his wife remain "in seclusion" at their home in Florida (and are supposedly involved in "intense" marital counseling sessions), their lawyers are still ironing out a revised pre-nup. One report suggests Woods would pay his wife $5 million immediately and then $55 million if she stays with him for another two years; all she'd have to do is suck up any semblance of pride and sign a nondisclosure agreement. Meanwhile, sources indicate that Tiger was working on a deal to pay Rachel Uchitel $1 million to keep her trap shut, she hasn't taken any money from him (yet), and canceled her press conference yesterday because she was "scared for her safety." What else do we know? That Tiger is painfully insecure about his tiny calves, for one thing.
• In an interview with Glamour, Sarah Jessica Parker says she has "enormous regrets" about filming the Sex and the City sequel since because she didn't want to miss being home with her two baby daughters for one moment. Let's all hope the millions she makes from the movie more than makes up for it. [Us]
• Is 15-year-old Tallulah Willis (daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore) dating 16-year-old Patrick Schwarzenegger (son of Arnold and Maria)? Possibly, although Bruce's rep is now denying it. [P6]

Hollywood gays: Stay in the closet! That's what Rupert Everett ("Another Country," "My Best Friend's Wedding") told the UK's Guardian. Even though you may be happier in the end, your career will suck, which is the most important thing.

I can't even begin with this one. Some blog is pretty sure Adam Lambert got peed on by a transvestite at The Box. Ergo, TRANNYPEEGATE.

• Sarah Palin's memoir is officially No. 1 on the US bestseller list, alas. [NYT]
• A Swiss court has granted bail to director Roman Polanski. [Times UK]
• Oprah will sit down with the president as part of a Christmas special. [THR]
• All that drama at the AMAs is boosting sales of Glambert's new album. [LAT]
• Related: Is there a double-standard when it comes to gay performers on network television? CBS's Early Show asks the question, then answers it. [HP]
• Fox is looking forward to the return of Idol and 24 in a few weeks. [NYT]
• New Moon has a lock on the long weekend box office, not surprisingly. [LAT]
• Carla Bruni-Sarkozy on her decision to appear in Woody Allen's next film: "Maybe I will be terrible. But, in my life, I cannot let such a chance go." [BN]

Jude Law walking downtown with his personal assistant ... Tobey Maguire leaving the Four Seasons Hotel via the back door... Katharine McPhee hailing a cab ... Shia LaBeouf and Michael Douglas eating lunch on the set of Wall Street 2 ... Famke Janssen walking in the West Village ... Katie Holmes carrying Suri on the set of The Romantics on Long Island ... Adam Lambert leaving his hotel in Midtown and later arriving at MTV studios in Times Square ... Amber Rose arriving at a Cinema Society after-party at the Gramercy Park Hotel ... Catherine Zeta-Jones walking in Midtown ... and Robin Williams leaving the Trump International Hotel.

"I'm not a babysitter. I'm a performer," explained Lambert on CBS's The Early Show. He said he got "carried away" but did not apologize for his racy kissing and blowjob-simulating antics. "I think it's because I'm a gay male."

• Last night's state dinner drew quite a crowd. On hand of the occasion: Katie Couric (accompanied by beau Brooks Perlin), Gayle King (sans Oprah), Brian Williams, Mayor Bloomberg (with Diana Taylor), Ari Emanuel, M. Night Shyamalan, Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg, and David Geffen (accompanied by his youthful boyfriend). Jennifer Hudson provided the entertainment; Naeem Khan was responsible for Michelle Obama's gold dress. [Politico, Reuters, NYP]
• She may not be in rehab (yet), but Lindsay Lohan is supposedly now in counseling and seeing someone a few times a week. It's a start, isn't it? [MSNBC]
• In what may be the most dubious story ever published by Us, a source tells the tabloid that Angelina Jolie "hates" President Obama because he's "all about welfare and handouts" and is really "a socialist in disguise." Naturally, the source goes on to say that Brad Pitt is still a fan of Obama, which means the two "get in nasty arguments" about politics "all the time." [Us]

There was a time when it meant something to be racist against Italians. These days, no one bats an eye if you make an "A-pizza pie!" joke. Except this Italian-American organization has drawn the line at MTV's Jersey Shore.

• France's first lady, Carla Bruni, will star in Woody Allen's next movie. [AFP]
• Time Inc. is shutting down InStyle Weddings and laying off nine people in the process. The company also let 15 staffers go at Fortune today. [Gawker, NYP]
• Adam Lambert's racy performance at the AMAs has stirred up some drama, in case you haven't heard; ABC says it's been flooded with complaints. [NYT]
• In related news, Lambert will not be appearing on GMA due to the fallout, but he will be on the Early Show and the Late Show with David Letterman. [HL]
• The Washington Post is closing its NYC, LA, Chicago bureaus. [WaPo]
• Time Inc., Condé Nast and Hearst are setting up a company to "allow them to take the digital future into their own hands." Better late than never! [NYO]
• Sarah Palin's Going Rogue sold 700,000 copies in its first week, sadly. [AP]