I can't even begin with this one. Some blog is pretty sure Adam Lambert got peed on by a transvestite at The Box. Ergo, TRANNYPEEGATE.

Like, honestly, this is not what my parents had in mind for me, sussing out this kind of thing. They thought I was going to go to law school. Law school. Now I help explain the nuances of TRANNYPEEGATE. Great. Where do we start on this one? How about here, via Top Idol:

So, this "Trick" person or whatever only has three Tweets. So, it just so happened that the night he opened up his Twitter account, he pissed on Adam Lambert at The Box?

Former Spin columnist and New York musicperson about town Ultragrrrl (this story, it just gets stupider by the word) was in the house. She was witness to the peeceedings:

So if a blogger and a Twittering Transvestite say Adam Lambert got peed on and threw a drink at a transvestite at The Box, did it actually happen? Kind of. The sad, boring denouement, from Adam Lambert himself:

So, he did get peed on, but it wasn't actually pee, though we don't know if he knew that at the time. So, yes, Adam Lambert kinda got peed on by a transvestite at The Box. Related: if there's a single person in America who still thinks Adam Lambert isn't gay, the fourth estate is failing. Miserably. Also, good to know that, after the holidays, "order" has been restored to the internet.

[Top image via Getty.]