Stephen Colbert has spent weeks hoping that Rick Perry would to run for president. Colbert's super PAC even commissioned a pro-Perry TV ad before it did anything else—and before Perry officially entered the race, so it's pretty obvious that he's smitten with the Texas governor. But is the feeling mutual? On tonight's Report, Colbert made a strong argument in the affirmative, as you'll see above.
The "Herman Cain Train" has derailed from its tracks, blown up, and brutally killed all the people inside. Meaning: Herman Cain is not likely to win the Republican presidential nomination! But since he's still running anyway, what should he talk about? How about impeaching Barack Obama, the red-meat throwers' ultimate expression of hitting rock bottom.
Let's just deal with the Rick Perry hair situation right here and now to get it out of the way: It is beautiful and lush, perfectly coiffed, and the source of his 10 straight election wins.
Gov. Goodhair may have a touch of gray these days, but Jack Shafer, for one, would still molest him. And now you can meet his famous hair stylist/barber/whatever, Dixie, in this clip! Her trick: She uses scissors. No, that's just normal. She uses witchcraft, let's say.
Texas Governor and Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry knew exactly which organization to turn when he needed to hire a treasurer for his campaign—one that matches his almost exactly in tone: Stephen Colbert's.
Finally, the Republican got a mighty presidential candidate to bring them to the promised land in Rick Perry, governor of Texas. Will party voices now stop clamoring for new "white knights" to jump into the race and save them from the totalitarian reign of mild-mannered technocratic centrist Barack Obama? Of course not.
Michele Bachmann opened her event in Spartansburg, South Carolina today by wishing Elvis Presley a Happy Birthday! How nice. The thing is, Elvis died 34 years ago today. He was born in January. So all in all, a pretty typical day for Team Bachmann.
Texas Gov. Rick Perry, the presidential candidate whom every single political junkie in America is rapidly learning about, has won ten straight elections in Texas since 1984. And do his vanquished foes ever have some stories! Oh, the stories that they have.
Karl Rove, whose job for the past couple of years has been to raise tens of millions of dollars to elect extreme Republican candidates to federal office, is starting to fear that the Republican presidential field is becoming too extreme.
Bill Clinton joked today that he was "tickled" to see Rick Perry, a "good lookin' rascal," enter the presidential contest over the weekend. He sees Perry's entrance, along with his pledge to keep the government as far away as possible from individual lives as president, as only the latest development in the 30-year campaign to discredit the federal government's ability to do good.
What is Michele Bachmann running for, again? "I'm running for the presidency of the United States," the Iowa straw poll winner helpfully clarified to Meet the Press host David Gregory on Sunday morning. "I'm not running to be anyone's judge." Except for, apparently, gay couples with kids, whom the congresswoman refused to describe as "families." But stop asking Michele Bachmann about that! This isn't "what people are concerned about right now"! Even though it is, according to Michele Bachmann, "the defining political issue of our time."
Looking for a candidate who comes across like a thinly-veiled George W. Bush caricature from some forgotten mid-2000s political satire? Good news! Rick Perry just announced his candidacy for president. (Of all of the United States.) And he made it through his announcement speech without executing a single innocent person!
Republican presidential candidate and pizza magnate Herman Cain cited the inspiring words of a "poet" during his closing statement to Thursday night's presidential debate:
There were too many terrible parts of last night's Republican debate in Iowa. For example: Any time Tim Pawlenty did anything. But the worst, and definitely most dangerous, was when all eight contenders joined forces to be terrible together and promise to never raise taxes one cent, even if it came in a deal that gave them everything they wanted.
If you weren't in front of a TV this evening—or you just couldn't bear to watch Republicans bicker for two hours straight—and you'd like to catch up on what went down during tonight's GOP presidential debate on Fox News, here's a clip that will fill you in on the highlights/lowlights. The 2012 campaign season sure is shaping up to be lots of fun, huh? [TPM]
All of the candidates, except soon-to-be candidate Rick Perry, are in Ames, Iowa for tonight's Republican debate! Oh wait, neither are Gary Johnson or Thaddeus McCotter or the other loser, Buddy something, or the gay guy. But the others, they're there! So grab your Iowa State Fair fried butter stick and turn on America's channel, Fox News. The future starts below.
