Jonathan Saenz, an evil man known for stuff like claiming same-sex marriage leads to polygamy and "standing strong" with the Boy Scouts of America against admitting gay people, divorced his wife in 2011. She left him, it turns out, because she was in love with a woman.

Cyberactivists associated with Anonymous say they plan to publicly identify the Ferguson, Mo., police officer who shot and killed unarmed teen Michael Brown over the weekend, and they also promised to release emergency dispatch recordings related to the killing this afternoon.

A teenager with an apparent affinity for Great Value products and fluorescent lighting built "secret compounds" inside a Walmart store in Coriscana, Texas, living there for two-and-a-half days. The 14-year-old was so determined to not be discovered and stay in the store, he reportedly wore diapers. A trail of trash eventually led to the teen being discovered by store employees.

Because of a photo on his phone, it appeared a Florida man standing trial for a 2012 killing had asked Apple's Siri, the creepy lady who lives in your iPhone and Googles things for you, where he should hide the body. At trial, though, it came out there was no way he could have done so.

"Yeah, I'd fuck Diddy," says Los Angeles-based battle rapper Daylyt in this new VladTV interview. "I'm not gonna front, I'd fuck the shit out of Diddy...Like, why not? Diddy's attractive. Get him off, like, a bottle of Ciroc, a shot of Ciroc, he got plenty of Ciroc. I'll fuck...Like, pause, no homo, let's really be honest, Diddy thick, yo."

A teenage volunteer firefighter in the Philadelphia suburbs has been arrested on charges that he and another teen set fire to vacant homes so that his fire department would be called to extinguish the blazes. A crime so dumb only a Philly boy could think it up.

In North Dallas, Texas, police are investigating Douglas Leguin, a man they say attempted to commandeer a house, then fired an assault rifle at firefighters who responded to a nearby dumpster fire. Leguin allegedly attempted to ambush police who responded, then called 911 and declared his secession from the U.S.

Unless the U.S. Supreme Court intervenes, gay couples can get married in Virginia starting next Wednesday. That's because the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals denied a delay on its ruling that struck down the state's gay marriage ban today.

The finding that women are more "averse" to volunteering themselves for the futile meat grinder of U.S. political elections would seem to confirm the theory that women think with their brains, while men don't.

According to a statement posted today by Abigail "Abby" Hernandez's lawyer, the 15-year-old endured "numerous acts of unspeakable violence" while being held in captivity for nine months. Hernandez was abducted last October walking home from school in Conway, NH. Nathaniel Kibby, 34, was arrested by police last month in connection to Hernandez's kidnapping.

Last Saturday, The Mail on Sunday reported that pop-country singer Taylor Swift was secretly shacking up with 22-year-old supermodel and close friend Karlie Kloss in Swift’s Beverly Hills mansion. But was there more to the Mail’s sapphic insinuations?

An Ohio woman who posted some controversial Facebook photos of her baby granddaughter—one in a roasting pan surrounded by potatoes and one with a pacifier duct-taped into her mouth—is surprised that Child Protective Services didn't get her hilarious jokes.

Say what you will about Jimmy Fallon—his schticks are repetitive, he's an adult child—but there are human emotions underlying that cynical viral video factory. Fallon cries at the things that make other humans cry, including the death of Robin Williams, "the Muhammad Ali of comedy."

If you have a "young one" waddling around your home at the moment (because it is your child), I suggest you lift them off the ground with a mighty effort, shake them (as much as you're able), and scream, "There's a 40% chance you will have diabetes one day!" (until your muscles give out).

Here's a true story better than a Disney movie: a little Siberian girl was rescued yesterday by her puppy after being lost in the forest for 11 days. Three-year-old Karina Chikitova survived "on wild berries and river water" while her puppy kept her warm. Eventually, the puppy ran back to her village and led rescuers to her in the woods.

Two recent high-profile calls to Comcast customer service—one where a rep kept a couple stuck in a verbal loop for 20 minutes as they desperately tried to disconnect their service, and one where the company only reversed fraudulent fees because the customer recorded the call—have opened the floodgates of evidence that your only choice for cable service doesn't give a shit about you.

Dr. Keith Ablow, Fox News' resident psychiatry expert, thinks First Lady Michelle Obama can't be practicing what she preaches in terms of healthy eating. On the daytime lady talk show Outnumbered yesterday, he leaned back in his seat, exposed his gut, and proclaimed: "She needs to drop a few."

An as-yet unidentified resident of Braintree, Mass. was summoned to court after being pulled over last weekend in a police-style cruiser. A highly intelligent police officer correctly surmised that there are no police in the state who call themselves "Decepticons" and drive $100,000 Italian-crafted cruisers.

Yesterday, the Ferguson, Mo. police department announced that it would not release the name of the officer who shot and killed unarmed 18-year-old Michael Brown on Saturday. "The value of releasing the name is far outweighed by the risk of harm to the officer and his family," said Thomas Jackson, chief of the Ferguson police department.

The leading age group of methamphetamine-related deaths in San Diego County? Baby Boomers, according to county records.