Unexplained network outages appear to have hit Time Warner Cable's 12 million American internet service customers around 6 a.m. EST this morning. In keeping with the company's (terrible) reputation, they have no estimate as to when everyone will be back online.

Spanish clothing retailer Zara was selling a blue-and-white-striped shirt with a six-pointed star over the left side of the chest that read "SHERIFF." The shirt, the store says, was intended for children aged three months to three years. Except, zoomed out on their website, the shirt looks a lot like...a concentration camp uniform.

A 19-year-old Vogue model wound up in court this week after she allegedly tried to steal three chocolate bars from a downtown Whole Foods earlier this summer.

Wise but sassy grandmother Tyler Perry said this week that he'd never heard of renowned director David Fincher and never would have acted in the Gone Girl movie if he'd known it was so mainstream.

A group of likely-former police officers caused an international incident earlier this month when they mistook the King of Morocco for a common smuggler and attempted to storm his boat.

Art may be subjective, but it's objectively dumb to volunteer to be shot with 300,000 volts of electricity. And yet somehow, one artist found close to 100—100!!!—volunteers for his unholy wedding of Marina Abramović's "The Artist is Present" with a stun gun.

Permatan child-bride Courtney Stodden apparently does have a line, and it's drawn at 70-year-old Gary Busey, who she says tried to seduce her at a party and slapped her mom when she tried to intervene.

A shooting instructor at a gun range near Las Vegas is dead after being accidentally shot by a 9-year-old girl as he taught her to use an Uzi.

A Michigan man whose swollen scrotum has grown to a weight of around 100 lbs. is about to get the life-changing surgery he needs. After living with a giant testicular mass for 10 years, he's finally raised the funds for an operation.

Scotland is tantalizingly close to declaring independence from Great Britain and setting up as a sovereign nation. But there are so many implications! Like, say, this Business Insider post's suggestion that an independent Scotland could get invaded by Russians on submarines. Let's explore, shall we?

Studies in rats now show that that exposure to endocrine-disrupting chemicals can have negative effects on three successive generations, so you better hope that your great-grandma didn't brush with Colgate.

In a staggering turn of events, the story of Miley Cyrus and the homeless runaway who accepted the 2014 VMA for Best Video on her behalf may not go down as smoothly as it seemed. It turns out that the man, 22-year-old Jesse Helt, is wanted on a probation violation in his home state of Oregon.

We have seen have seen more ice buckets dropped on heads than we care to remember. We have seen superheroes and wanted criminals, former presidents and wisdom teeth patients who are obviously faking it. Today, we see a marvelously sassy British(?) toddler hop up and yell "fookin' 'ell!" as soon as she's doused.

Alec Baldwin, former celebrity still involved in things only famous people get to do, attended the U.S. Open match between Maria Sharapova and Maria Kirilenko last night and when a stray ball went flying into the stands, he calmly reached out and caught it. It was no big deal. "I don't play tennis well, but I can catch a slow-moving tennis ball," Baldwin told ESPN.

Here is a nightmare that is also real: The severed head of a cobra snake reportedly jumped out of the kitchen trash in a restaurant and killed the chef who was preparing its body as a meal. The chef, Peng Chen, had removed the head from the Indochinese spitting cobra a full 20 minutes before it bit him. One diner told the Daily Mirror, "We ... could hear screams coming from the kitchen."

A new day has dawned, and with it, a new draft of a new United Nations report on climate change has leaked unto the world. Like the turning pages of a calendar as one draws closer to death, the report brings tidings that grow worse, and worse, and worse.

After being attacked by a leopard in the northern state of Uttarakhand in India, a local woman refused to admit defeat, instead returning blows and killing the animal in under a half an hour with only farm tools.

Rikers Island has been under scrutiny for its violent treatment of inmates lately, but Norman Seabrook, who heads the union representing New York's correction officers, wants you to know that guards don't exactly have it easy.

NBC News just broke the fascinating news about a 33-year-old Southern Californian with a crazy Twitter account who has been killed in Syria fighting for ISIS, Al Qaeda's uglier, nastier little brother:

If there's anything to be learned from last year's "most deranged sorority girl email ever," it's that the internal communications of sororities are endlessly charming, fascinating, and full of the word "cunt." The Louisiana State University chapter of Tri Delta has proven that once again this week with a leaked parody song trashing the "fucking lards" and "poser cunts" in every other sorority on campus