Abruptly deposed former New York Times editor Jill Abramson is teaming up with Steven Brill to start a publication that has **one million dollars** to give to writers just like you in the coming year alone. How can you get your piece?

A mosque in Coachella, California was hit with gunfire early on Tuesday morning, authorities are reporting. No one was injured.

As part of his ongoing very light effort to understand video games, Clueless Gamer Conan O'Brien shrieked his way through the new Call of Duty game, Advanced Warfare, last night.

Last night, a three-year-old boy was shot in the leg by another toddler as the two played with a shotgun they found inside a Baltimore home. Further details are scant, but one takeaway is clear: it wouldn't have happened if there wasn't a gun in the house.

Anna "Chickadee" Cardwell, 20, sat down with E! News last night to discuss the reports that her mother has rekindled her romance with the man who molested Anna when she was eight years old. Anna says Mama June "can be very selfish. She ain't tell me she love me in a long time."

Police have released security camera footage of the apparent abduction of Carlesha Freeland-Gaither from Philadelphia's Germantown-Penn Knox neighborhood. According to the 22-year-old's family, she was just blocks away from her home when she was dragged into a car by an unknown man.

A teenager at Radnor High School outside of Philadelphia, Pa. was arrested on Monday for allegedly formulating a plot to become the "first female mass murder." She had reportedly written extensive notes on how to murder her classmates and teacher before a pep rally.

Alan Martin, a church minister and father of two, has sentenced himself to seven weeks in Never Ending Pasta Pass prison at Olive Garden. He invited the Fox affiliate in Burlington, NC to visit him as he slurps down another bowl of limp noodles swimming in room temperature pond water. It is the saddest two minutes I have ever watched.

It is election day, when we celebrate the uniquely American system of democracy, in which every single dollar gets a vote.

Dan Thorn, an anchor at West Virginia's 59 News, has released the white-news-anchorest possible music video for "Where They at Doe?"—not so much a T.I. track as a Bobby Shmurda remix of the time Floyd Mayweather claimed he'd given T.I. two black eyes, and the rapper showed his face on video to ask "Where they at, though?"

Football season brings many things: a renewed interest in processed cheese, overt excitement over grown men concussing themselves, and drinking on Monday nights. But have you asked yourself what it means for the ladies? One experiment in basic data journalism has determined the mind-blowing answer, and it will surprise you!

Yesterday evening, 34-year-old mother Jillian McCabe called the Newport, Oregon, police, alleging that she'd thrown her six-year-old son off the Yaquina Bay Bridge. Later that night, authorities found a body they believe to be the boy's floating near a marina.

Want to abolish Daylight Saving Time because it's outdated and basically useless? Well, Oskaar from Reykjavik has one message for you: Fuck you, quibbling over one hour. He gets three hours of fucking sunlight a day!

All weekend and yesterday, the internet was arguing over whether it was fair or sane for Truth Revolt to have interpreted behavior described in Lena Dunham's memoir, Not That Kind of Girl, as the author's sexual abuse of her younger sister. Dunham responded, her sister Grace responded, writers responded (and responded to criticism for not responding to the passages of the books in question). Dunham canceled promo appearances in Europe (we hear, though, that her rep attributes this to "health issues") and, according to Truth Revolt, sent the site a cease and desist, threatening to sue if the quotations from her book weren't removed from the site.

Wistful Reagan groupie Peggy Noonan puts her finger on the Obama administration's prime failing: "Coherence: The administration has been unable to explain persuasively the reasoning behind its current priorities (global warming? really?)." Global warming? Really? Not a word about inadequate airport hotels? For shame.

Last night, Jimmy Kimmel continued his annual tradition of ripping families apart by asking parents, for the fourth year in a row, to tell their kids they ate all the Halloween candy. The results range from wounded tears to straight-up post-Halloween sugar tantrums to being surprisingly calm about the whole thing.

Beyoncé's label has confirmed that she will release an expanded version of last year's BEYONCÉ later this month, but the "leaked" memo detailing its release was bullshit. Instead of an entire new album, it will come with a six-song EP. Unless this is all a ruse and she's going to surprise us again!

Gary, Indiana's finest rapper, Freddie Gibbs, had a show in Williamsburg, Brooklyn last night. Someone reportedly started shooting at him, hitting two people in his entourage.

California police are investigating one eight-year-old's Halloween haul after a small bag containing .1 gram of meth was found amongst her candy.

Amanda Bynes tweeted early this morning that she's been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and that she is taking her medication. Bynes has been tweeting and deleting various statements about her health since she was released from a psychiatric hold on Friday.