At Joe's Crab Shack, where your cousin brought you once and swears isn't always that gross, you can order a Shark Bite or a Shark Nibble. They sound similar—and in a busy restaurant, one could easily be confused for the other—but they are actually different! One (the Bite) contains alcohol; the other (the Nibble) does not. Someone got confused serving a table of children aged two to eight at a Joe's Crab Shack last Wednesday in Colorado Springs.

According to director Joseph Kahn, for a few hours on the morning of November 10th, the yoohoos at Yahoo prematurely uploaded the unpremiered video for Taylor Swift's new single "Blank Space." While the file was pulled shortly thereafter, fan-uploaded versions continue to surface. It's a pretty fun video, particularly if you have ever wondered what Beyoncé might be like if she were white and insane.

If you're looking for the devil, he's hiding in your Monster® Brand Extreme Energy Beverage, probably right between the L-carnitine and the pyridoxine hydrochloride. That's according to this respected theologian, who is crazy.

As we prepare for the holiday season in which we reflect upon the past year and make plans for the year to come, let us all begin to feel the creeping sense of fear that comes with the confident expert prediction: Recession 2015.

Last week, fundamentalist Christian newlyweds Jessa Duggar Seewald and Ben Seewald posted a steamy makeout pic to Instagram, fueling rumors that they consummated their marriage right in the back of the church after the wedding.

Tell us: Who are some extremely attractive military veterans that you know or are aware of? They can be famous or not famous. Younger or older. Male or female. Any branch. (No Nazis.)

The word "pussy" will no longer be bleeped out on Comedy Central, thanks to the fine, patriotic work of Amy Schumer and her producers. At a panel over the weekend, Inside Amy Schumer head writer Jessi Klein explained how the show achieved what she rightly calls "a great moment in American history."

On Friday, a New York City judge ordered 54-year-old Kevin McGlynn to stay away from Rihanna's home after he was caught "lurking" around her Manhattan apartment. Judge Orlando Marrazzo then compared McGlynn to Mark David Chapman, John Lennon's killer. Eeek.

You don't need John Oliver to tell you that state lotteries—or, as your mom calls them, "the stupidity tax"—are a bad deal, but you may not have realized the extent to which they suck.

Forty-eight students were killed and at least 79 were injured after a suicide bomber dressed as a student detonated during a 2,000-student school assembly at the Government Technical Science College in Potiskum, Nigeria on Monday.

When nude photos of Gabrielle Union leaked in the 4chan hack this fall, the actress was on vacation with her new husband Dwyane Wade and her kids. She said yesterday at a Cosmopolitan conference that she was furious: "I didn't do anything wrong—no matter what people describe to me, [the hackers are] criminals."

The NYPD is investigating a fight that broke out this past weekend between passengers on a Washington Square station-bound F train. The video, uploaded to YouTube on Saturday, is appropriately titled, "Man smacks the soul out of girl on the NY Subway."

Authorities say an Air Canada passenger is "lucky to be alive" after a propeller broke off the flight and slammed through her airplane window, leaving her with a head injury.

Train employees discovered a man on fire this weekend after he apparently accidentally electrocuted himself while train surfing in Connecticut.

Dennis Rodman says you're welcome, America.

Police in Springfield, Massachusetts say a spat between building tenants about dog poop turned into something far shittier on Saturday: a less-than-neighborly double stabbing.

Hey, look up there. Did you take your vertigo medication this morning? Fully recovered from last night's shameful tequila-flavored swamp dive? You could do with watching a relaxing, serene video clip of tightropers crossing over a 100-meter waterfall. It'll put you at ease. Just watch.

The Associated Press is reporting that the leader of ISIS (aka the Islamic State aka ISIL), Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, was wounded in an airstrike on Saturday. Brief statements from Iraq’s Defense and Interiors Ministries said that al-Baghdadi had been wounded, working off of intel provided by informants within ISIS. They did not elaborate on the extent of said injuries.

On Saturday, Nicki Minaj released the lyric video for her recent single "Only" and, well, yikes.

A Massachusetts woman has been charged with assault after yanking the false teeth out of a bartender’s mouth and then throwing a beer bottle at her.