If Kim Kardashian's extremely shiny nude body in Paper threatened to break the internet, her sister Kourtney's barely-clothed pregnant photoshoot for Dujour will at least leave a small chip in the internet's paint. Maybe a surface scratch, but that'll probably buff out.

When Yolanda Bogert's teenage son came out to her as transgender last week, she decided to show her love and support by correcting the official record.

Here you will find a link that allows you to write a holiday message to a survivor of prison rape. It's free. (A rep from the charity tells us that in past years, Gawker readers "have been nothing short of amazing." You people are great sometimes.)

Following a 12-hour manhunt, the body of West Virginia shooter Jody Lee Hunt was found dead of an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound inside a pickup truck in the woods. Hunt, the owner of a towing company, shot and killed four people in a rampage Monday: his ex-girlfriend, two men she had allegedly been involved with, and the proprietor of a competing towing business.

Seinfeld worked as well as it did largely because Jerry played the ultimate straight man at the center of a cast of weirdos. His character isn't funny without the George Costanzas of the world constantly freaking out around him, and they get funnier the more he futilely tries to reason with them. That's why a solo Jerry Seinfeld really needs Miranda Sings.

Today is hashtag #GivingTuesday, a day when the act of charity transforms into an act of #viral #marketing for #brands. Reject it!

Much of downtown Detroit is without electricity following a "major cable failure" at one of the city's power grids. Roughly 100 buildings, including schools, museums, fire stations, court houses, and sports arenas, were still without power as of noon.

Princeton, an insane asylum for sickly, translucent-skinned WASPs camouflaged as an Ivy League university, has scandals, too. Not urgent, talk-of-the-town scandals that have bearing on reality, like at the University of Virginia, but scandals that make headlines in the New York Times, because they have to do with "Eating Clubs," which is where the insane asylum patients are breast-fed by well-trained macaques before being sent out to work in the financial sector. It's really quite a sight.

"The thing is, hate crimes need to be, 'I can't stand the fact that you are gay so I am going to drag you behind a truck. I don't know you, I don't care.'" - The Guardian examines the October murder of 22-year-old Dionte Greene, who was black and gay.

The years-long litigation involving a Los Angeles third-grade teacher who blindfolded his students and forced them to eat cookies made with his semen ended last month with a $140 million settlement between the school district and the victims.

Great news for baby boys! There are now federal guidelines pertaining to circumcision, and the government says, more or less: yes! Do it! Apparently medical evidence supports the ancient rite of foreskin removal, which can lower your baby boy's risk for STDs later in life. But also remember that considering your baby boy's sex life upon its birth is a personal choice—one the government does not want to make for you (can we blame them?).

With Christmas just weeks away, you're quickly running out of time to buy your loved ones a gift. So why not just purchase a few of these terrifying "Aztec death whistles" and save yourself some hassle? They're only $100 each at the Oregon Flute Store.

The latest battlefront in Russell Brand's Revolution™ is the New Era housing estate, a choice piece of London property currently occupied by 93 families. The estate's new owner, U.S. firm Westbrook, intends to evict them so it can fetch "fair market rates"—an insane $3,000 a month—for the apartments. Brand has made himself the face of the tenants.

Is it true that community college "takes two years" to complete, and regular college "takes four years" to complete? Not at all! It takes much, much longer.

From the land of tea and crumpets comes a head-scratchingly conservative ruling on porn: as of this week, spanking, fisting, watersports, female ejaculation, and facesitting are officially banned in the UK.

The Killers recruited Jimmy Kimmel to help write their annual Christmas song, and it wasn't as huge a mistake as it could have been. After a lot of dicking around in Christmas sweaters, they finally arrived at "Joel the Lump of Coal."

Credulous—adj.—"willing to believe or trust too readily, especially without proper or adequate evidence; gullible."

The Lebanese military claims to have detained the wife and child of ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi. The two were reportedly arrested more than a week ago as they tried to cross into Lebanon from Syria; the wife is being held for questioning at the Lebanese defense ministry.

The internet has always been a natural habitat for the paranoid and angry, but it's never been as easy to mobilize your fellow conspiracy theorists than it is today. So why does the super-sophisticated conspiracy-troll machine draw diagrams like a 1st grader?

According to Page Six, Scarlett Johansson is a married woman for the second time. The actress got hitched to French journalist Romain Dauriac shortly after the birth of their daughter in September. But was the ceremony in some gorgeous chateau in the groom's home country?