· The Marshall Tucker Band play the House of Blues, Gipsy Kings at The Conga Room, and Akon does whatever it is Akon does at Club Nokia.

In a year where so much went wrong for Dane Cook—vagina-faced flops, dog poop lawsuits, and the public ire of Molly McAleer—at least the comedian could rely on his family. Or, maybe not!

We have exciting year-end news for anyone tired of Gawker Media's steady encroachment upon your Defamer-savoring experience: We're breaking free from the mothership!

There's still not much to report from the front lines of World War Watchmen, where a smattering of fire today has nevertheless nudged half a million angry refugee fanboys into comics-genre exile.

Bloomberg aide Kevin Sheekey is a late addition to our list of people who should be unemployed in 2009.

Has the comedy world learned nothing from the time it angered Brooke Shields with jokes about a freshly-dead Estelle Getty? Apparently not, since it now falls to Twilight star Robert Pattinson to cry, "Too soon!"

Caroline Kennedy now almost certainly won't be the new Praetor of New York! The overreaching Bloomberg aide pushing her has given up. Good news for her!

12/26 — M. EMMET WALSH trying pho for the first time at Pho Show last night in Culver City. He looked like he came straight from the ranch in a large blue buffalo plaid flannel shirt. I would've been disappointed if he had been in a suit. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

There is not much new programming this week, but after Monday night's Bromance caused our liver to produce bile at an elevated rate, we need something safe and chalky to soothe our TV tummies.

Awesome news! The lobbyist who either had an affair with John McCain or convinced his staff that she intended to have an affair with John McCain is suing the New York Times.

In my puff-piece about The City today, I wondered who this "Erin" was. The show's star Whitney is crashing on her couch. She was called a hooker. But who is she? A tipster has told us!

Join us in looking back at the trends, names, faces, places and unhinged absurdity that made our Defamer Decides 2008 coverage an unparalleled historical record of American presidential politics at its finest.

Is Kevin Rose, the celebritard-wooing founder of Digg, deeply concerned about Apple CEO Steve Jobs's wellbeing? Only for as long as it takes him to log onto his broker and unload his position in AAPL.

The list of Ponzi ponce Bernie Madoff's victims grows ever longer, and ever famouser. Kevin Bacon and his beautiful wife Kyra Sedgwick! And poor, impoverished New York University.

Here's my last round of layoff horror stories: my own! So, let me just say, as I eeeease out of the office: About a month ago, worried for some reason I couldn't place...

• Both retailers and editors are scaling back plans for the couture shows in Paris in January. Anna Wintour, however, will not be deterred. [The Cut]
• A list of 2008's "ubiquitors." [WWD]
• Designer Ted Lapidus is dead at 79. [Guardian]
• The movie about the Bruni-Sarkozy love affair will only air in France, alas. [Style.com]
• A former YSL makeup artist has slapped the company with a discrimination lawsuit. [WWD]
• Tough times: the CEO of Liz Claiborne is forced to fly commercial. [WSJ]
• Did you miss The City? You didn't miss much, but Whitney Port has posted her very own recap, if you're interested. [Celebuzz]

When the NYPD looks at the Jonas Brothers, they see something far more ominous than a fraternal trio of virginally delicious pop stars: They see a NYE riot at the Crossroads of the World.

What will Google be like without Marissa Mayer, the glamour nerd whose goofy laugh so neatly captures the search engine's adolescent awkwardness? We'll know soon. We hear the company's 19th employee is planning her goodbye.

The season premiere of Lost will be amazing. [EW]

Rod Blagojevich just had an awesome press conference announcing his selection of Roland Burris to the US Senate. Now no one knows what will happen.