"This is the end / My only friend, the end." Not sure if Jim Morrison penned those words about Lipstick Jungle, but tonight could be the conclusion (or not) of your favorite female-empowerment hour.

As Fox Studios throws its enthusiastic support behind How I Met Your Mother by tripling its stars' salaries, the laugh track-enhanced CBS sitcom returns to the tabloid slophouse for some ratings-goosing stunt-casting.

Succession politics plays out like palace intrigue at the New York Times and questions about how much longer executive editor Bill Keller plans to stay in his job are already stirring. Keller says, "Bullshit."

Twitter users are a sorry bunch. Especially the media! Errata, excuses, and eye-rolling from today's tweets:

Ridley Scott finally sheds some extra Nottingham weight. [NY Post]

The day after heartfelt if hopeless pseudo-legal judicial appeals from Watchmen co-producers Larry Gordon and Lloyd Levin, Fox and Warner Bros. today hinted at a more binding resolution in their copyright case.

Hawk-eyed sociopolitical trendspotter and inexplicable WSJ columnist Mark Penn unveils his latest Microtrend: People are using the internet, to learn about things. [WSJ]

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By now we think you know how this goes: We give you the censored gossip item, you fill in the missing word. On today's show: Twilight and PrivacyWatch star, Robert Pattinson.

· When you're done looking up her name, feel free to discuss the fact that Cobie Smulders and her castmates now make between $90,000 - $120,000 per episode of How I Met Your Mother. [THR]

• Yes, Karolina Kurkova does indeed have a weight problem, but that's because she suffers from hypothyroidism. Satisfied now? [Fox News]
• Brooks Brothers' Fifth Avenue flagship is closing at the end of January. [Racked]
• Searle has gone bankrupt. [Fashionista, CNY]
• Peter Som won't be showing at Fashion Week, but buyers and the press may still get a peek. [NYM]
• Tag Heuer has tapped Leonardo DiCaprio as its new ambassador. [WWD]
• A look at 100 years of bob haircuts. [Pipeline]
• Daisy Fuentes is starting a hair care line. [WWD]
• A fire broke out at Topshop's future Soho location last night. The damage was minimal, but presumably it will serve as a handy excuse if Topshop needs to push back the opening once again. [Nylon, NYM]

1/8 — I saw that vampire dude from Twilight, ROBERT PATTINSON, just this morning at the Coffee Bean in Los Feliz. EVERYBODY within 100 feet recognized him but nobody bothered him, thank God. He ordered a Chai Tea Latte and waited patiently with everyone else, pretending to text somebody on his blackberry. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

A brooding ad exec takes on God as a client to save the world from this "Hip Hop age of Internet porn and Reality TV." Can I call Happy Soul Industry awful before reading it?

So this is what congress has been up to lately! They just finished a two-year investigation into steroid use in professional wrestling. The most important finding?

There's ultimately no point in dreading the remake of Wes Craven's vicious, still-shocking 1972 thriller Last House on the Left, even despite a new trailer bringing to mind torture porn by way of Restoration Hardware.

Robert Rubin, a senior counselor and director at Citigroup who helped steer the megabank into taking on more risk, is quitting amid a firestorm of criticism. Why? Because he's "tired."

Blago's on TV now. His defense: the House has been trying to impeach him for years! Since day one! Oh man Shep Smith is literally talking over him and mocking him. Update: Hey, video!

1/7 — I was shopping at the Banana Republic on Beverly Drive in Beverly Hills looking for post-holiday deals. While I was contemplating my purchases, I was drawn to a man standing by the shoes. He had the nicest ass, perfectly ensconced in a tight pair of Jeans, and he turned out to be STEPHEN MOYER, my favorite vampire from True Blood. He looked so pleasing to the eye that I would have dropped it all to cop a feel on that perfect ass. He seemed friendly enough as he interacted with the staff. He left without buying anything. I have seen a few celebs at this store, maybe he'll be back. Stephen, call me. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

Ezra Merkin, the financier who steered $1.8 billion into Bernie Madoff's pockets, officially stepped down today as the chairman of GMAC, the financing arm of General Motors. The move was widely expected given the reputation-shattering events of the past few weeks, a staggeringly swift fall for a resident of New York's richest apartment building and the president of one of the city's most prominent synagogues. But when there's blood in the water, the sharks turn up for dinner, which is why Merkin's art adviser, Ben Heller, says his phone is ringing off the hook.

Patrick Swayze misses TCA's Beast panel, hospitalized for pneumonia. [THR]