Who Would Win if Real Seahawks Played Football Against Real Patriots?

Max Read · 01/31/15 09:00AM

For whatever reason, Americans prefer the Super Bowl to involve men playing football under the names of various animals and soldiers, and not the actual soldiers and animals themselves. Which is why at Gawker, we're asking the only important question: What would happen if a real patriot played against a real seahawk?

What to Yell During the Super Bowl

Dayna Evans · 01/30/15 03:50PM

Not sure what things to yell during Sunday's Super Bowl match between the New England Patriots and the Seattle Seahawks? Here are a few ideas so you don't look stupid or uninformed in front of your close sports compatriots.

This Winter's Fad for Dummies: The $1200 Canada Goose Jacket

Sam Biddle · 01/30/15 03:30PM

Canada Goose Jackets are for pricks. The big bulky puffers are distinguishable from other parkas only by a patch. Don't buy one, because they're expensive, and winter sucks enough without being a consumer sucker on top of it all.

Cops Filmed Firing Pepper Spray at Teacher Walking From MLK Rally

Aleksander Chan · 01/30/15 03:22PM

Seattle high school teacher and activist Jesse Hagopian is suing the city for $500,000 after police fired pepper spray at him as he walked past officers at a Martin Luther King Day rally. In video of the incident obtained and released by the NAACP, it appears Hagopian and other bystanders were sprayed by officers unprovoked.

"Bear Lady" Possibly Killed By the Savage Beasts She Fed and Loved

Aleksander Chan · 01/30/15 10:34AM

The body of Kay Grayson—known to locals as the "Bear Lady" who cared for the animals that lived on her 12 miles of land east of Columbia, North Carolina—was found on her property 200 yards from her trailer. Investigators believe she was dragged into the woods by a bear. She was 67.